You Will Cry!!!...Kung Fu Edition

Here's a collection of silly movies threats about some Kung Fu flicks.

I'm going make you watch Bruce Lee's Game of Death...You will cry...When you see Bruce Lee....For 11 minutes.

Note- Bruce Lee was doing a movie about going up inside a pagoda and fighting enemies one by one. Sadly, Bruce Lee died and the movie was never completed. A few years later, film makers wanted to cash in and try to complete the movie on their own. The actual footage Bruce Lee did is near the end of the movie.

As I was watching the film, I can clearly tell I wasn't looking at Bruce. Throughout the film, "Bruce's" face barely shown unless he was wearing sunglasses, a fuzzy beard, or bandages around his face. One moment had Lee looking at a mirror and you saw a cardboard cutout of Lee tapped to the mirror.

Something doesn't look right

The movie also used alot stock footage from Bruce Lee's earlier films. There some fights and in order to do a close up of Lee's face, they use stock footage. I can clearly tell the background looks completely different. They even used footage of Bruce Lee's actual funeral. That's wrong and creepy. What's also creepy is that Bruce's character(who is a movie actor) was filming a scene where several policeman fired their guns at Lee. One of the bad guys sneak in and loaded real bullets in one of the prop guns. It's creepy because this what happens to Bruce Lee's son.

Here's the trailer if anyone wants to see

I'm going to make you watch Jackie Chan's Winners and Sinners and his other film, Blade of Kings...You will cry...When you see Jackie.....in a small role.

You will cry when you see Blanka....Butt naked for five long minutes. Ahh, My eyes are burning!

What's the point of having Jackie on the main cover if he's only going to have a small role.

Also on the 3rd biggest character in Winners and Sinners poster is Jackie's other childhood BFF who had a far more smaller role.

At lease this poster is far more fitting. Showing Jackie plays a far more smaller role than the 5 guys above him.

Note#1- Winners and Sinners is really more of a Sammo Hung movie about him and four other people who were released from prison and living a free life in an apartment complex. Jackie was more of a supporting character than a main. Sammo's character become friends with Jackie midway.  The Chinese title of the movie is called Five Lucky Stars and they have their own film series which I didn't know about till after seeing the movie.

Some of you may remember I mention Blade of Kings on the 2010 You Will Cry page. The actual main characters are these two girls who are popular singers in Asia. They are on a quest with their boyfriends to find Excalibur. Donnie Yen(who is also barely in the movie) follows them. Donnie encounters a statue that comes to life and the statue is Jackie. They fought for five minutes and Jackie returns to being a statue.

Note#2- In Winners and Sinners, one of Sammo's friends who I call Blanka, reads a book on how to become invisible. He uses it and believes he's invisible as he walks around the apartment butt naked. My poor eyes are burning.
Why am I calling the guy Blanka? Well I remember the actor in a different film but I get to that later.

Here's the trailer of Winners and Sinners
Very misleading trailer.

Trailer for Blades of Kings
Well the trailer kinda admits Jackie is a guest star. It does trick you to think Donnie's the main character.

I'm going to make you watch Jackie Chan's City Hunter...You will cry... When you see that the three and half minutes of the Street Fighter scene is better than the entire movies of Van Damme version and Legend of Chun-Li.



Note- Late in the movie, Jackie was thrown into an arcade and it transform him and several others in the room into Street Fighter characters. They were throwing hadokens and doing spinning bird kicks. It is awesome. Most fans greatly prefer this small scene over the two theatrical SF movies from Hollywood.

Here's the scene from the movie










I'm going to make you watch Jet Li's Last Hero in China...You will cry...You will cry...When you see Jet Li...Dressed as a Chicken

Cluck Cluck

Note: Last Hero in China is a parody/comedy/spinoff of the Once Upon A Time in China series. Jet Li plays the famous folk hero, Wong Fei-hung in the series as well as the parody. Late in the movie, Jet Li has to face a group of people in a giant caterpillar outfit and Jet copies a fighting style from a chicken to defeat his enemy.

Here's the trailer if anyone wants to see

Here's a trailer of Once Upon A Time in China
You can tell from the trailer alone that the series is far more serious.

I'm going to make you watch Donnie Yen's Mismatched Couples..You will cry..When you see Donnie Yen...Dancing like a buffoon.



Note: Long before he became popular, Donnie was in a movie where he acted goofy throughout this totally 80s flick. You watch any his newer films and then look at this one, it's very funny to see him like this. Some fans of Donnie Yen had their jaws dropped on seeing their favorite star like this.


Here's a trailer if anyone wants to see
There's not that many videos I can find on this movie. There was a clip of the 1st two to three minutes of Donnie dancing in the streets on youtube before it got pulled.

Going to force you to watch The Dragon Lives Again...You cry...When you see Bruce Lee...Joining forces with Popeye as they fight James Bond, Clint Eastwood, and Dracula.

I'm not lying, here's the trailer as proof

Note- After Bruce Lee died, alot studios try to cash in on Lee alive by making movies with people that look similar or barely look like Lee and make cheap films. It's called Bruceploitation. I never watch any of these knockoffs. Some films were renamed at the last minute so the stuidos can make a quick buck. I saw a site that talks about these knockoff films. I briefly went over it and it did mention some of the craziest and more weirder films during the Bruceploitation era.

Here's a clip of (Not)Bruce fighting a Gorilla

 Once Jackie started to get popular with comedy kung-fu movies, the clone era faded.

I going to make you watch Future Cops....You will cry... When you see...

When you see Mario....Talk about AIDS
Click the video

When you see Guile, the All-American Air Force dude from Street Fighter... seduces a girl with his singing.
Click the video



When you see Blanka's rolling cannonball attack....As a beach ball

When you see Guile and Vega....eat a refrigerator.
See Vega balance books on his arms while sleeping.
See Guile build a nuke out of scrap in seconds.
See Dhalsim burn a bully's butt.
See Vega uses Guile's hair as a broom
See Ryu for a only a few minutes.
When you see two Chun-Lis
You cry...When you see......Goku

What is Goku doing in a Street Fighter movie

Note- Future Cops is an unofficial Street Fighter movie with a few other things like Goku from Dragonball. The director of the movie wanted to make a Street Fighter movie but Capcom didn't give him the rights to use their characters. The director still went ahead and made the movie. Most of the characters look a little different and have different names. It's a very very wacky movie. People who seen this said this movie was still better than the two Hollywood movies as well as Dragonball Evolution.

Here's the trailer