Wednesday, December 30, 2020

You Will Cry...With Marvel!!! (Phase 2)

 

I'm going to make you watch Iron Man 3... You will cry....When you see that the Mandarin... Doesn't have green skin.





WTF...Where is his Green skin?

When you see Bruce Banner's cameo...Isn't played by a 4th actor.

(Warning Spoilers ahead, you been warn)

When you see the Mandarin...As a light-hair man in a business suit...What another guy in a suit?

Note#1- I admit that I have I never read any of the comics or anything else but when I was little, I did saw reruns of the 90s cartoon on some station. I barely remember it but one of the things I vaguely remember was Iron-Man's main nemesis was a green-skin man with magical rings. This is the Mandarin, who is the main villain of the movie. I heard him having green-skin only came from the 90s show and none of the other versions of the characters.

Seeing we live in a world where people complain about the live-action Green Lateran being white(Hal Jordan and John Stewart are two different people with the same power), or Mary-Jane as a blond (Gwen Stacy you idiots). I'm sure there are people out there that complain the only version of the Mandarin that they are familiar with isn't in the film.

Note#2- In the 1st Avengers movie, I joked how the Hulk is always having a different actor whenever we see him. I predicted that his cameo be played by a 4th actor, and a 5th in Avenger 2, and a 6th whenever he gets his own sequel.

Well nope, the 3rd actor makes a cameo in the 3rd Iron-Man. Mark Ruffalo is in Avengers 2 and still plays him to this day. The curse of the ever changing actors for the Hulk has been broken.

(Waring!!! Spoilers!!)


Note#3-In a plot twist, The Mandarin was really an actor to pretend to be a terrorist while this light-hair man in a business suit was really calling the shots. This was very controversial moment and most fans of the character were not happy. I joked in that past popular villains has gotten miscast as light-hair men in business suits.(M. Bison, Human Bowser, Eric Sacks' Shredder)

There was a 14-minute short film released that showed the actor Mandarin in prison and it was told that both the businessman and the actor based their identity on actual Mandarin and he's out there somewhere.

There is an upcoming film called Shang-Chi and the Legend of the Ten Rings that will feature the real Mandarin.

(End Spoilers)


Here's the trailer
You can tell from the trailer how cool and evil the Mandarin is.


I'm going to make you watch Thor: The Dark World...You will cry...When you see a Norse god...played by a black man.

Does he look Scandinavian to you?


Note- One of the dumbest complains I hear about these movies is the gatekeeper, Heimdall is played by the guy from Pacific Rim. Technically, Heimdall isn't Scandinavian, he's an alien that the Norse people took as gods. Besides, Heimdall is awesome, why change him?


Here's the trailer


You will cry...When you see Black Widow...In a 3rd hairstyle.

Gee, you change your hairstyle more than the Hulk changes his actors.

You will cry...That you got spoiled by watching Agents of SHIELD.
Hey, don't look at me. It's your fault that you didn't watch Captain America on opening day in a crowded movie theater.


Note#1- Everytime we see Black Widow in a different Marvel movie, her hairstyle is different. Well if Mark Ruffalo is staying as the Hulk, I needed something else to joke about that will keep changing in throughout these films.


Note#2- The 2nd Captain America movie had huge major plot twists that affected the Marvel Cinematic Universe. These major plot twists also affected the spinoff show, Agents of SHIELD. A few days after Captain America came out, Agents of SHIELD had an episode with these events of these twists is happening. It's like the show was wasn't even giving the viewers a chance to see the movie on DVD or 1-Dollar theaters months later

If your curious what the major plots twists is.(Skip if you don't want to see)

HYDRA, a branch of the Nazis has infiltrated S.H.I.E.L.D. since it's founding in the 50s. This force S.H.I.E.L.D. to close down. Nick Fury was killed in action but the truth is he was faking his death. Most of the people still believe he was dead and his "death" was mention several times.


You cry...That you don't know who the heck these people are.

When you see...A gun-slinging talking raccoon.

You see Vin Deisel...As a tree.



Note#1- The average person has heard of Iron Man, Captain America, Thor, The Hulk. The Guardians of the Galaxy on the other hand is kinda of obscure group that exist in the Marvel comics. After the movie came out, they reach major stardom and become well known.


Note#2-Yeah, it sounds silly that the movie has a talking raccoon and Vin Diesel playing a tree to anyone unfamiliar with this film.



You will cry...That after watching this.. You will watch Godzilla 2014..And then you will cry when you see Quicksilver and Scarlet Witch...
As a couple.

Eww...Your Siblings

You will cry...That the Hulk and Black Widow.. Are a couple
But..But..My Fanfics. What about my fanfics of her and Captain America or her and Scarlet Witch. 
What? Why you looking at me like that?

 *Warning Major Spoilers Ahead, skip way past the next pic if you don't want to see*



That Hawkeye has a family.
But I thought you and Black Widow were an item.


Note#1- I'm sure people who saw Godzilla after Age of Ultron may feel sick seeing the very same actors kissing.

*spoilers*
Note#2-All of the people you excepted to be together, Bruce and Natasha was the last thing to be in people's head. Black Widow worked with Captain America before(and kiss to avoid the enemy), got flirted by Iron Man, and has a history with Hawkeye. Speaking of Hawkeye, him having a family was a shock to people.