You Will Cry!!! 2018 part 1

This is a collection of jokes I made to any major movie that came out in 2018. Enjoy!

(While technically the 1st movie aired in late 2017, It become available in English speaking countries during 2018.)

*spoilers ahead on the entire trilogy. Skip to the next section if you don't want to be spoiled.*

I'm going to make you watch the Godzilla Anime Trilogy on Netflix.... You Will Cry!!!...

1. That's it's animated.

2. You only saw Dagahra/Orga/Dogora/Kamacuras for one second.

3. That Anguirus and Rodan appear as one second cameos as their corpses

4. Godzilla is a plant.

5. That you don't see the Godzilla in the entire 1st movie till the very last minute.

6.That you see MechaGodzilla as a city rather than a giant robot in the 2nd movie. Oh and you don't see Mothra at all.

7.That the epic battle between Godzilla and King Ghidorah wasn't really a fight.

Note#1- Long before anyone actually seen it, they attack it because it's not live-action. I remember back in the day, that people hated the 2007 Ninja Turtles movie just for simply bacause it's not live-action(and the fact it's not what they grew up with). It be like praising Batman v Superman and Suicide Squad but hating on the Dark Knight Returns and Assault on Arkham because they're animated.

Note#2- At the beginning of the movie, they were discussing all the kaiju attacks at the turn of the millennium, it showed several monsters in the background.They have appeared in other Godzilla movies, or Mothra's spinoff series in the 90s. Dogora on the other hand was a monster from a stand-alone movie that's made by Toho. I'm sure there's someone out there complaining they didn't have more screentime.

Note#3- I remember at the time, I heard they were in the upcoming films. When I saw it, they weren't in seen anywhere. I heard they and dozen other monsters were in a tie-in novel called Monster Apocalypse, greatly detailing the history of the world before the events of the three movies.

Eagle-eyed viewers did found Angurius and Rodan's skeleton remains when it showed the Great Wall of China at the beginning of the 1st movie. Geez, it's bad enough to see Godzilla die in 1995, now I have to see their skeletons. That's mess up.

Note#4- There was a some backlash on the re-imagining of Godzilla. The Big-G was a more of a giant plant that resembles a giant lizard.

Note#5- There group of people throughout the 1st movie are hunting Godzilla. They found him and use a strategy to kill him, it worked. Then they realized that wasn't Godzilla they kill but an offspring of him. Suddenly, the real Godzilla appears and far more larger and far more deadly and he's mad that his offspring is killed.

Note#6- MechaGodzilla was hinted at the beginning of the 1st movie but wasn't made operational. The 2nd movie which is 20,000 years into the future showed what happen to to Mecha-G. The Nanometal from it's body formed a big city.

Sadly, this is all that you see of MechaGodzilla.

There is concept art of MechaG as a bi-petal giant robot but it wasn't meant to be.

Mothra is sort of in the 2nd and 3rd movie but she's inside an egg and still not born. She can communicate to a pair of twins despite not being born yet.

Well look on the bright side, you see MechaG in full glory in Ready Player One with him fighting Gundam and the Iron Giant.

Note#7-

King Ghidorah in this trilogy is a god-like being who exist in a different dimension. The rules of our dimension don't effect him and he bite into Godzilla and they float in the air. One of the humans destroyed a certain bead which made Ghidorah be affected by the rules of our dimension, soon Godzilla fired his atomic breath and shortly after, the golden dragon is dead.

Here's the trailer if you want to see

*ending spoilers ahead, skip to the next section if you don't want to be spoiled.*

I'm going to make you watch the Cloverfield Paradox, you will cry...When you see the Cloverfield monster at the very last minute of the movie.

What!? I had to wait to the very last minute to see this guy. 1st the aliens don't show up till the last ten minutes of the 2nd film and now this. Man this series sucks.

Note- Well the monster wasn't really the main focus of the film. It was a bonus cameo no one saw coming. The main story was a crew on a space station with dealing with alternate universes colliding on the place.


Here's the trailer

I'm going to make you watch Black Panther...You will cry...That the main villain...Is a clone of the main hero. 

Seriously Marvel? Can't you make your heroes fight something that's not a copy?

At least in my movies, I don't fight copies of myself.

Oh shut up, I haven't got to your movie yet. Besides, your a ripoff of DC's Deathstroke.

Note- I couldn't come up with a good enough joke but then I realized an early early complaint, that the villain has a copy of the hero's suit. Throughout the MCU, there been alot villains that are more or less copies.

• Iron Man vs. Iron Monger- 2 dudes in armored suits.
• Iron Man vs. Whiplash- They're both powered by arc reactors 
• Hulk vs. Abomination- Two behemoths.
• Captain America vs. Red Skull- Both injected with Super Soldier Serum.
• Captain America vs. Winter Soldier- Two young living people from the 1940s living in the 21st century.
• Ant-Man vs. Yellow Jacket- They both have shrinking powers.

Here's the trailer
Yes, that's Bilbo and Gollum

I'm going to make you watch the new Tomb Raider...You will cry...That Lara Croft has small boobs. WTF!!! Did they forget how she looked in the PS1 games, or how Angelina Jolie looked?

Lots of padding was used

Note- I have heard there is a small group of people that has complained about the movie just because the size of Lara's breasts. I can tell the new movie is based on the newer games where Lara is more real looking with a far more smaller breast.

I admit I haven't play any Tomb Raider games in recent years, however I have heard of the new series of games from her recent reboot and it seems the movie is more based on those games than the old school ones. You can tell she's younger and covered in dirt. It's more darker and grounded with a survivor element to it. However not everyone is up to date with the series.

She was best known a certain big something other than raiding tombs back in day. However as time went on and graphics got better, something shrank.

She still has curves but not overly big as in her PS1 days.

Look at those melons.

Again, I haven't got to your movie. Just wait a while.

They may of done this to make things more real looking. The newer games are far more grounded and realistic. However you can argue that she is far younger than her earlier counterparts so there's that. 

I have notice that Tifa from Final Fantasy 7 also went through the same over the years as graphics gotten better and better.

Look what they did to Tifa, they made her flat. How dare they!!...What? Why are you looking at me like that?

Here's the trailer

*Spoilers ahead, skip to the next section if you don't want to be spoiled*


You will cry....That nearly everyone you loved from the 1st movie is either dead or evil.

She dies very early in the sequel.

He was nowhere to be seen in the sequel but according to the novelization of the sequel (Which may or not be canon). He dies a year after the events of the 1st movie from cancer.

And He's evil

Note- People were not happy what happen to Mako. Also hearing what happened to the original main character is depressing to hear. However he may be alive since the novel may not be canon.


Here's the trailer

I'm going to make you watch Ready Player One...You will Cry...

That you didn't notice that Deathstroke/Tokka/Robocop/FreddyKrueger/Conan/Optimus/Batgirl/Flash/MasterChief/DocBrown/Spawn/Ryu/DukeNukem/ArkhamKnight/HelloKitty/HarleyQuinn/Gremlins/He-Man and many more were in the movie.


Note-There is way way way too many Easter eggs and cameos in this movie. You have to have a keen eye to notice all the cameos.

Here's the trailer

1.You will cry...That you didn't see Hawkeye, and Ant-Man. Not only that, you never saw Drax either.


2. That X dies...

That Deadpool wasn't in it.

Ignore the previous sentence.




Note#1- Hawkeye was set up for next year's Endgame while Ant-Man was going to have stand alone sequel that will lead to Endgame.


As for Drax...

The internet was joking that Drax was "invisible" throughout Infinity War.

Note#2- Infinity War was known for being a game changer for the MCU. There were spoilers, fake spoilers, teases on what happen to the movie all over the internet.

Here's the trailer

*Spoilers for the whole movie. So be warned*

1.They killed Vanessa early

I can't believe they killed her so early. I blame the writers. "Real Heroes" my bum. Gee Chris, your blog is preventing me what I want to actual say. I'm having flashbacks when I re-released my movie for PG-13 audiences during Christmas. It's weird you won't let cussing on your blog but your dodgeball stories is about frakkin violent as my movies.

2. When you see Deadpool crossing his baby legs.

I don't know if my fans are disturbed or feeling hot when they saw my stuff.

More likely disturbed after possibly seeing your privates when you are regenerating.

3.That the overly hyped X-Force dies right after they're introduced.

Gee, If only I had a time machine to save one of them....

4. That you only saw Brad Pitt for one second. What? People came to see Brad Pitt and he's only in it for one second. This sucks.

Uhh Chris, I don't think people who haven't seen this knows he's even in it. Plus it's a joke I put in a big name actor for a small scene.

5. That you don't see the X-men besides Colossus, Negasonic Teenage Warhead, and Yukio.

It's like Fox didn't want to afford other X-Men in my movie. Stupid money grubbers.

You think now with Marvel Studios having the rights back to X-Men and Fantastic 4, you think they have you do crossovers with the Avengers?

Most likely a few side characters.

6. That the post-credits ripped off of Godzilla Final Wars where the beloved icon kills his lame in-name only knockoff. For shame Deadpool, for shame.

Are you kidding me? I'm sure there are other franchises out there that has done a similar thing. You know my 616 counterpart killed off my Ultimate counterpart who was nothing like how I'm suppose to be. Besides, the writers of my movie may of not seen that one Godzilla movie. Ripoff or not, my mouthless counterpart deserved what he's getting.

Note#1- There was some backlash when they fridge(comic book term) Vanessa. From what I heard on the PG-13 cut, even Fred Savage lashed out towards the movie for fridging Vanessa. They killed her off just to move the story.

I tried to kill myself afterwards but my healing ability won't let me. Well I was save her in the end when I burrowed Cable's time machine.

Note#2- Deadpool was ripped in half and his lower torso was in the middle of regenerating back to normal. The lower half was kinda baby-sized during the process. I don't know you actually see his junk during his leg crossing but I'm certainly not going to re-watch the scene to see.

Oh come, you know you want to.

No, just no.

Note#3- Deadpool forms a team called X-Force that's based on a group of mutants in Marvel comics. They were ready to perform their mission as they were jumping out of their plane. Unfortunately, their parachutes endings up on moving helicopter blades, moving van, tree shredder.

The trailers did lie to the viewers. It showed some of the members fighting several bad guys on the streets. That didn't happen.

Gee, talk about bad luck. Good thing I go back to save Peter at least. I don't know how Domino was spared from her fate.

It was her luck power.

Oh come one, "luck power". That's not a super power. By the way Chris, aren't you forgetting a certain X-force member.

I'm getting to him.

Note#4- One of the members of the X-Force is called The Vanisher and he's invisible. During the scene where they all parachute to their comical deaths. Vanisher crashed into power lines and made him visible for a brief second. It was Brad Pitt in a one second role.

Hey Chris, you forgot these guys.

I don't know who they are?

That's Alan Tudyk and Matt Damon.

Wait? They are the movie too. I didn't recognized them with those disguises.

Note#5- In the 1st movie, Deadpool breaks the 4th wall and comments that the studio can only afford only Colossus. In the 2nd movie, he goes to the X-mansion and said why can't he gets help from any of the famous X-Men besides Colossus. Right after he said this...

If he only turned his head.

Wait they were in the movie?

How is it that you know about Alan Tudyk and Matt Damon but you didn't know about this cameo?

Hmm, seeing it's McAvoy's X-Men and not Stewart's X-Men, I'm guessing my movie takes place in the 80s or 90s. I thought my films take place during current times? These timelines are confusing.

Note#6-

I already said this earlier to writer of this blog. Big deal that my mid-credits parallels to a some Godzilla movie. 
It is sad you were created a over a decade after Marvel loss the rights to Godzilla. It be an awesome crossover with you two.

Here's the trailer

To be continued for part 2...

Why not do it now?

Because it takes a while for every movie to be available for streaming or rental. Now get off my blog. I need to wrap this up.

To be continued....For real this time...