You Will Cry....with the DCEU

I'm going to make you watch Man of Steel...You will cry...That Superman doesn't have his hair curl hanging out. The 1st images show he doesn't have that and therefore, that means it's a bad movie.

That he straight up killed a dude.

Note#1- Fanboys are too judgmental over stupidest things. 😒

Note#2- The ending where he killed Zod was controversial. The villain was seconds away from killing an innocent family with his laser vision, forcing Superman to kill him to save the family. Some say he would find a way to save them and stop Zod.  It could be worse, he could be like Optimus from the movies where he comes off as a cold-blooded killer and tells them to "Give me your face!"

Here's the trailer

1. Seriously, them fighting? That's the stupidest concept ever. Is Hollywood trying to be lazy and make a movie like Freddy vs Jason. Also Batman would die easily if he fought him.


2. That Ben Affleck is cast as Bruce Wayne/Batman.

Seriously, Ben Affleck is a terrible choice. I mean voice sounds nothing like Christian Bale. It's not funny enough. Imagine this line done by Bale shouting.
He has the power to wipe out the entire human race, and if we believe there's even a one percent chance that he is out enemy we have to take it as an absolute certainty... and we have to destroy him.

3. Jesse Eiserburg as Lex Luthor.

And we're not saying that because he's the only one in the pic with hair

4. That Batman kills.

5. That Batman and Superman suddenly stop fighting and become friends, simply because their mothers have the same name.

Even Deadpool did a parody of that scene while fighting the Punisher.

6. That Jimmy Olsen dies

7. Seeing the Death of Batman's parents for the 8345th time. This is annoying why we have to see his parents dies again. This is not an actual Batman film, it's a crossover. It's..

LOL You know what, I forgive this.

Note#1- This is a complaint from casual viewers. Those whose only familiar with the old movies.

If you look at the history of Batman and Superman, they butted heads before. There is a famous story in the 80s called, The Dark Knight Returns(It got an animated adaptaion as well). Superman been tasked by the government to bring down Batman. However Batman prep himself to fight Superman and he was actually a match against the Man of Steel. Batman is one of the few members of the Justice League that has no powers but he has looked up every member's weakness and set up plans if any of them go rouge.

Note#2- When news of Ben Affleck was cast as Batman. The internet went into fan rage. Most people remember him played another costume vigilante, Daredevil 2003. Not many people liked the movie. However when Batman v Superman was out. Complains died down and many people who bash Affleck all of sudden praised him. History repeats itself.

And history repeats itself when the sparkling vampire from Twilight was cast as Batman.

Note#3- Lex Luthor is suppose to be a smart, calm, calculating evil multi-billionaire business man. Jesse Eisenburg's version is goofy and crazy. It's like a mix of the Riddler and Joker with the name of Lex Luthor. So why are people's opinions of Michael Keaton, Heath Ledger, Anne Hathaway, Ben Affleck, and Robert Patterson changed once they saw the final product but not Jesse Eisenburg? Simple, he's a Superman character, not a Batman character. 😜

Note#4- Batman brands criminals to put them in the death chair. He was also willing to kill Superman. Most versions of Batman supposed to have this do not kill rule. The director based this Batman from Dark Knight Returns and complete misinterpreted some scenes in the comics and think he kills people.

However there were times that  Batman over the years in movies where he broke the rule. Michael Keaton's Batman shove bombs into baddies belts while Christian Bale said, "I won't have to kill you but that doesn't mean I have save you."

Note#5- This is one moment of the entire movie that the entire internet makes fun of. Batman and Superman stop fighting because they found out their mothers have the same name.

Really, Batman saw Superman as a monster and was about to kill him when Superman mentions he needs to save his mother, Martha. Batman came to a realization that Superman is like a regular guy who grew up with a family who he cares for and not some world destroying alien.

Note#6- The 1st few minutes of the movie introduces Jimmy Olsen who is normally a photographer that works at the same job as Clark and Lois. They carelessly kill him off shortly right after because the makers wanted to shock the viewers and say he has no place in the movie.

Note#7. You seen one Batman origin story, you seen them all. It gets retold over and over in every version. Be happy that the MCU didn't re-re-re-re-retold you the death of Spider-Man's Uncle Ben for the 274th time. The death of Bruce's parent in BvS is kinda funny because these two actors ended up on opposite sides on Walking Dead.

Here's the trailer

1.You will cry...That Will Smith had sex with Harley. Oh boy, Joker is going to be jealous.

2. That they killed off Slipknot.

Man, he was the best character in the movie. Why they kill him off.

3. That you barely saw Batman or the Flash.

4. Trying to figure out who is Incubus.

5. Joker is not the main villain/that he didn't have enough screentime/that he wasn't good enough

Note#1- Will Smith's character having sex with Harley is kinda true....but from a different movie. I only said that to my friends to tricking them thinking I was referring to the live-action one. There is an animated Suicide Squad movie that came out a few years before the actual live-action movie. The animated movie was a sort-of tie-in to the Batman Arkham games.

If you like, or hated the live-action movie. I still recommend this animated one. For those disappointed on the minimal screentime of both Batman and Joker, don't worry, they have a ton more.

Also to point out, I didn't know about till somewhere in 2022 but pictures of the original cut of Suicide Squad before studio interference and reshoots was leaked on the web and one of them had Harley and Deadshot making out. Pretty weird because my joke was never intended of some earlier cut of the film.

Note#2- Soon they got the gang together, they introduce a guy called Slipknot. They say "He can climb anything." A few minutes later, one of the members of the squad told him that the bomb in his head is a fake. Slipknot automatically believes him and runs away, however the military in control of the squad activated his headbomb and he dies.

Slipknot is nothing more than a throwaway character to show how these bombs in their heads are real. Even in the comics, Slipknot is a minor forgettable character, so killing him off is no big deal.

However I do play up like he could of been the greatest character in the movie. If you didn't like Suicide Squad, I joke, "Well he could of been the one character that made the movie worth watching." I google some jokes of this guy and the internet jokes like he could take an army of Supermans.

Note#3- Well Batman and the Flash were nothing but cameos. Go watch Justice League if you want to see more of them. At least Flash's cameo isn't confusing like his unexplained time-travel visit to Bruce in Batman V Superman.

Note#4- Incubus is obscurer than obscured. In all of the comics made by DC in all these decades, he only made 6 appearances ever. Even the most hardcore of hardcore DC fans didn't know who Incubus is.

Note#5- Well one of the most in anticipated things about the upcoming Suicide Squad movie was Joker being played by the famous singer, pretty boy, oscar winning actor known as Jared Leto. People wonder how he would hold up compare to Heath Ledger's famous take on the Joker.

He was featured in alot of trailers. Most people also thought the Joker would be the main villain in the actual movie but it was Enchantress and her bro. Aside from Harley Quinn's flashbacks of him, he only played a small part in the movie. The actor actually complain about about most of his scenes got cut, however even with extended cut released on DVD, he still had a small role in the movie.

Some people's opinions differ about the Joker. Some say he's great, some say he's terrible. Others said it doesn't matter because he didn't have enough screentime to left an impact.

Here's the trailer

1. I'm going to make you watch Wonder Woman's movie....You would cry...That Hades is somehow Jabba the Hutt.

Great Hera!! What happen!? You used to look way different.

Seriously, you used to look like this. Why you look like Jabba? Are you sure your Hades and not Dionysus?

This isn't the 1st time DC animated you. So why not look like that?

What? 😕You guys thought I was talking about the live-action one? Err...ok. I talk about that one than.

2. You will cry...That Captain Kirk didn't do anything on an island full of women.

Note#1-There was an animated Wonder Woman movie a few years back. Like Suicide Squad, I tease my friends thinking I'm talking about the recent live-action movie when I'm actually talking about a lesser known animated movie that came out years before.

Yeah, Hades seems more like Dionysus who was more of a wine-drinking party god.

Note#2- Captain Kirk in the original Star Trek was known for kissing a ton of women and the screen blacks out and the next scene has him putting his boots on.

His younger alternate universe counterpart is played by the same guy who plays Wonder Woman's love interest. You be thinking before you saw the movie that he has pervy thoughts but he was actually modest and more concern with the mission.

His animated counterpart on the other hand.

Here's the trailer

1. Going to make you watch Justice League...You will cry...When you see Superman's invisible mustache.

2. That Green Lantern isn't in it due to avoid the "whitewashing controversy" that Ryan Reynolds had a few years back.

3. That they recast the Flash.

4. Trying to figure out who the heck is Steppenwolf and why he's the main villain.

5. That Joss Whedon ruined Zack Snyder's epic movie/that Joss Whedon tried his best to salvage Zack Snyder's mess of a movie.

6. That minor character Cyborg from Teen Titans is somehow one of the main members of the Justice League.

7. That you didn't get the live-action black suit, bearded, mullet wearing Superman and Flash's weird time travel cameo on Batman v Superman still doesn't make sense.

Note#1- The guy who plays Superman had a role where he had a very thick mustache. He's under contract to not shave it for the time being. When Justice League needed to do reshoots, well they had to CGI his face to hide the mustache. It looks off and animated at times.

"Why are the visual effects not done? It's a metal arm, it's not like we're trying to remove a mustache!"

-Deadpool in the trailer of his 2nd movie while making a jab towards Superman.

Note#2- The Green Lantern who is one of the most popular members of the Justice League didn't appear. I made a joke he wasn't in it due to avoid the "whitewashing controversy".

I make a timeline of everything led to this joke.

• There been multiple humans who had the mantle of Green Lantern in the comics. The most well known is Caucasian test pilot, Hal Jordan.
• In the 2000s, there was Justice League show and one of the members is African-American former U.S. Marine, John Steward as the Green Lantern.
• Ryan Reynolds got a stand alone Green Lantern movie in 2011 and some response, "OMG!!! He's suppose to be black, I can't believe they are whitewashing him." 

Yeah, people who don't know Green Lantern beyond the show complain despite John and Hal being two different people.

Note#3- People complain that they got a completely different actor to play the Flash when there is a popular live-action show airing the same time the movie is out. People wondered why they didn't get the same actor as the T.V. show.

I'm sure it's for many reasons, one thing is Grant is busy filming 22 episodes a year on his own show alone. Him coming to play a character for a multi-million dollar movie may make him more busy. Plus, it's a different world from the T.V. show. Usually when there's a reboot or a movie that's separate from a show, it's very rare to see an actor playing the same character in different universes.

Plus both Flash actors support each other and joke they should have dimension crossing adventures and it turns out years later that Erza did a quick cameo in Grant's show.

Note#4- Steppenwolf is an odd choice of a villain. You have to be a real hardcore DC fan to know who he is and even they are scratching their heads on why he ended up in the lead baddie in the very 1st ever Justice League movie. He was an underling of Darkseid who is DC's version of Thanos. Making Steppenwolf, the main baddie is like making a member of Thanos' black order that you saw in Infinity War as the big bad. It may of been fine if this was a comic or episode but not a major blockbuster. This was the case long before the Snyder cut is out. Steppenwolf is way different for the better, he actually has a character arc and serving under Darkseid that you see alot of.

Note#5- Zack Snyder was the director of Man of Steel, Batman v Superman, and Justice League. He was done on the filming of the movie and getting ready for post-production and reshoots. Unfortunately, his daughter committed suicide and Snyder didn't have it in his heart to continue and he wanted to be with his family. He pass the torch to Joss Whedon to finish up the movie. 

Not everyone is happy with the direction the DC movies been going. Joss Whedon directed Avengers 1 and 2 and Marvel is doing better than DC is with their movies.

However some argue that the movie been better if Snyder stayed around. Others say Whedon try his best to fix the movie despite coming in late. I can't give an answer to that at the time. There was noticeably content that was cut and it was like this for years.

Well the fantasy of the idea of the Snyder Cut is long been out and his version is a far superior film. I'm sure that Warner Brothers would of asked Zack to trimmed it into 2 hours regardless if he left early or not.

Note#7- Cyborg for decades was mostly seen with the Teen Titans which is a different group of DC's heroes. Well in recent years, it seems they promoted Cyborg into one the core members of the League and the new movie is following that. The main reason is for diversity, just like why John Steward is the Green Lantern in the 2000s show instead of Hal Jordan.

Note#8- In the previous movie, Superman got killed by Doomsday and everyone was upset. Just like that popular storyline from the 90s. The famous comic story ended with Superman coming back in a black suit and saying he wasn't dead, but in a coma. The final shot of previous movie had Superman's coffin shaking. Skip the rest of the paragraph if you don't want to be spoiled. Well in the movie, the league used alot of gizmos to revive Superman. So the idea we were going to have something similar to Superman coming back from the dead(or coma) with a black suit didn't happen, at least in the Whedon Cut.

As for Flash's weird cameo in the previous movie. Everyone saying he time-traveled to warn Bruce about something. I guess it was meant to foreshadow in this movie or something. It still don't make sense. Everyone saying he used superspeed to time-travel. It's possible it would of been more explained if Snyder was able to complete it on his own. Well after the Snyder cut was out, it's funny is the time traveling Flash cameo sort of somewhat made more sense in the Whedon cut. Superman was insane when he was resurrected till Batman brought Lois over and he cooled down and fans theorized that's how he didn't go the dark path.

Here's the trailer

You will cry...That this is the movie that ruined Justice League and it's all Tom Cruise's fault.

All because Henry Cavill was under contract to not shave his mustache. Now we got stuck with his CGI-ed upper lip. Thanks alot

Yes, I know this is exactly DCEU but it's related. 

Here's the trailer

1. You will cry that they made a movie on based on some lame pathetic weakling.

I mean, look at this guy

Wait, what!?

2. That Amber Heard tarnished the film and she's around in the sequel. Darn it, I really want to see Aquaman finally getting respect after being seen as a joke.

Note#1- People who are only familiar with Aquaman from the show Superfriends see him as a joke and that his power is he talks to fish. However, through numerous comics and shows over the years, Aquaman was taken very seriously. Hopefully having a mainstream movie will put a stop to people calling the guy as a weakling. Saying he's lame after all these years is like saying Batman is still the same since his Adam West days.

Note#2- The actress for the film has become very controversial some time after the 1st Aquaman film was released. Heard claims her ex-husband, Johnny Depp was an abusive but he claims she was the one whose abusive and made lies. Depp has been recast in Fantastic Beasts and we will have a new Pirates movie with no Jack Sparrow. He's face of the franchise and it be weird he's not there. They're having a trial as I'm typing this.

Most people out chose Depp's story over Heard. There were rumors that Heard got fire for the 2nd movie and I joked we're going to relive the Megan Fox situation again from Transformers 3 as horny teens are upset their redhead in a skintight swimsuit isn't in it and it's suddenly terrible because of that reason alone. I seen the stories of them saying all the flaws of Transformers 3 wouldn't happen if Megan was still there.🙄

However she's still around and the 2nd movie is already filmed before the trial happen. Hopefully they recast her if Aquaman 3 happens and not killed her off or say "They broke up". She's not some randomly made up love interest like Megan Fox's character, Mera is based on Aquaman's wife from the comics.

Here's the trailer

1. I'm going to make you watch Captain Marvel and....What do you mean Captain Marvel is a blond woman. No it isn't, it's a little boy that turns into a adult. I'm not lying, his name really is Captain Marvel.

*Ending spoilers ahead, skip to the next one 

2. That Superman couldn't make a full cameo in the movie because of that stupid CGI mustache and it's all Tom Cruise's fault.

Note#1- I'm not lying that Shazam is also known as Captain Marvel. I give a timeline of events of how this happen.

• In 1940s and 50s, Captain Marvel was published by Fawcett comics and they were very popular and even outselling DC's Superman. 
• DC comics sued Fawcett, saying most of Captain Marvel's powers are ripping off of the Man in Steel.
• Fawcett lose the case and stop making comics of the superhero.
• Marvel comics in the 60s came around and made their own Captain Marvel with copyrights and everything. Marvel's Captain Marvel died later on and had successors who took the mantle, including Carol Danvers.(Who the movie is based on)
• DC tried to bring Fawcett's Marvel back under their comics they can't call him Captain Marvel on the comic covers due to Marvel Comics having the copyright. So it's called SHAZAM! now. They can call him Captain Marvel within the comics, just not on the covers.
• Years and years later, both Captain Marvels somehow ended up having movies that came out at the same time.

*Ending Spoilers Ahead*

Note#2- There is a scene where Superman sits down with Shazam at the school cafeteria but you see him from the neck down. Originally, they were going to get Henry Cavill from the recent DC movies to play Superman but he wasn't available at the time. 

It was easy to joke that they didn't show his face because of the infamous CGI mustache. Henry Cavill had to come back to Justice League for reshoots but was under contract from the recent Mission Impossible to not shave his stache, which lead to a very noticeable fake looking upper lip.

1. You will cry....That despite it's called Birds of Prey, it's mostly a Harley Quinn movie and the gang don't form together till the very end of the movie.

2. That Jered Leto is not in it and you barely seen some the back of some stand-in's head for two seconds.

Man, nobody came to a Birds of Prey movie to see the Birds of Prey, they came to see Joker. If he's not in it, than what's the point of watching?

3. That Harley's partner, Cassandra Cain is a talkative girl. A talkative girl, that's the stupidest thing I ever heard. Who's coming to see a talkative girl?

4. That Black Canary is more like Yellow Canary.

Does her outfit look black?

5. That key Bird of Prey member, Barbara Gordon aka Batgirl aka Oracle, is not in it.

6. That Bird of Prey is the #1 superhero movie of the year, simply because this movie came out before Covid screwed up everything up with everything delayed, went straight to streaming, or fewer people in select theaters, but who cares, it's the #1 superhero movie of the year.

7. That according to critics, it's a great movie, simply because of female-empowerment. (Movie's ok but it being female-empowered or not isn't about general opinion of the film.)

Note#1- If you came to see Harley Quinn, this is a good film to see. If you came to see the Birds of Prey, well good luck. They side characters in their own movie and they don't come together till the very end.

They are a mostly female group of vigilantes station at Gotham city.

Note#2- Alot people has different opinions of Jered Leto's Joker from Suicide Squad. He's either great or terrible. Others say it wouldn't really mattered because he only played a small role in that didn't leave an impact. Some felt like he got the shaft. Alot of his scenes were cut, gets a brief cameo of of the back of his head, and seems no more plans are laid out for him.(Aside a cameo from the Snyder cut) Also it didn't help that a Joker movie with Joaquin Phoenix that's separate from the DCEU came out shortly right after.

Note#3-Cassandra is a girl taught to be an assassin. She was never taught to speak, read, or develop social skills. She was an expert of body language and martial arts. She did fell in the side of good and worked with Batman to get away from her assassin lifestyle.

And in the movie, all we have is a talkative girl who is remotely nothing like her counterpart.

Is her outfit mostly yellow?

Note#4- Black Canary mostly wore yellow than black in the movie. There is a three second scene during the ending that the gang were fighting crime in new outfits that sort of look closer to their source material. I get some outfits don't translate well in live action that you have to make some alterations but go too far.

Note#5- Barbara Gordon is famously known as Batgirl, till one day the Joker shot her in the spine and became wheelchair bound. She still wanted to fight crime so she became Oracle. She formed the Birds of Prey and help the team or Batman with her computer skills. Despite being a key figure, she's not in the movie. Some say there's plans to have Batgirl in a future movie that may or may not happen. Who knows, for some reason, the higher ups didn't want her in the movie.


Note#6- Some people didn't like this film. They say it's not going to get much in the box office and all the supposed upcoming movies will outperform it. Months later, it dawned on me, that it came out before Covid hit the states, meaning ironically that the movie would be most viewed film of the year. However it wasn't and Sonic the Hedgehog ended up as the most viewed.

By the end of the year, some people on Twitter were celebrating the movie was the superhero movie of the year. Which is funny since it can't really outperform if it had no one in the race.

Note#7- Some people are simply phrasing the movie for simply being female-empowered. I admit if you watch it for Harley Quinn, it's a enjoyable but ok movie. But for the others, no so much. You barely saw your female crimefighting team and some of them barely resemble who they suppose to be.

I mean Catwoman and Legend of Chun-Li had female leads and they are very very poor examples of girl power because they are bad movies that does the source material a great disservice. Imagine critics phrasing it because they are "Female-empowerment."

Here's the trailer if you want to see

1. You will cry...That Wonder Woman totally raped a guy.

2. That the made villain is Mando unmasked.

It's bad enough that you ruined the imaginations of the fangirls when you took off your helmet time to time on The Mandalorian, but now and entire movie with your face all exposed.

Note#1-It may be unintended but the scene where she sleeps with her "boyfriend" ended up being controversial and everyone mention the bad implications of it. Also, she and Steve put that body in danger when they go across the world and nearly got shot.

she renounces her wish at the end and the dude woke up with no idea what happen. So was he roofie? The makers of the film said the events of the dude getting bodyjacked never happen when Diana renounces her wish.

Note#2- I know several fangirls that said he shouldn't ruined their imagination of his face.  They seem less interested hearing he's the entire movie with his exposed face.

Here's the trailer

1. I'm going to make you watch Zack Snyder's Justice League...You will cry that... That have the lame weakling Aquaman *sees that he has a film where he's cool* Shoot I mean, Uhh, I mean that Erza Miller recast Grant Gustin *Sees everyone is cool with both Flashes appearing on the TV show* Um *coughs* Well that Black Suit Superman isn't *See he's in the Snyder cut*, That lame obscure unknown is the main vil... *Actually sees him serving under Darkseid throughout the entire movie*

Darn it Snyder. Everything I said in the other cut is out of date. Also Superman doesn't have his CGI upper lip.

2. That the inferior version of this movie is the canon one while the far superior cut is not canon.

What!! You mean the later movies have the League with 1-dimensional characters and no Darkseid.

3. All the foreshadowing of later movies that will never happen. So will will never see Batman joining up with Flash, Deathstoke, Cyborg, Mera, and Joker going against an evil Superman.

4. Also all the foreshadowing of Deathstoke is now pointless since Ben Affleck's solo Batman film is scrapped.

All this is got replaced by the sparkling vampire. Thanks alot Edward Cullen.

Note#1- Some of the stuff I said was kinda a retread of what I said back when the theatrical version came out. Alot stuff is out of date nowdays or actually answered in the Snyder cut.

Note#2+3-Yeah, despite everything being better in this version is not the canon one. With this being non-canon, all the planned movies that Snyder planned aren't going to happen.

However several actors and directors see the better cut as the official one in their eyes.

Note#4- Ben Affleck did planned to write, direct, produce, and star in a solo Batman movie. The post-credits either version Justice League had Deathstoke that was setup for the Affleck's movie that never happened. In 2017,  Affleck step down due to multiple reasons. His script did end up in other hands and was reworked alot. In the end, it became Robert Patterson's Batman.

Doesn't seem they have plans for a sequel or anything else from the ending of either version in the future, so the foreshadowing would lead nowhere.

Here's the trailer if you want to see

*Major spoilers for the entire movie*

I'm going to make you watch the 2nd Suicide Squad movie. You will cry...That Harley Quinn is watching Doctor Fate thrusting in a speedo at a strip joint.

That Reverse Flash is somehow alive despite having a giant bullet hole his brain.

Dude, how are you alive after that!?

Oh wait minute? I'm suppose to talk about the 2nd live-action Suicide Squad movie, not the 2nd direct-to-dvd animated movie? Alright then.

For reals this time. You will cry...When you see Sylvester Stallone...As a Shark.

After all the advertisement and showcasing all the individual characters with known actors....Half of the die within the 1st ten minutes.

All dead before the opening credits roll.

Alot advertising for people who were only in a fraction of the entire thing.

Note#1- Back when the original Suicide Squad movie aired, I mess with people saying I "seen the movie" and references to The Other 1st Suicide Squad, Assault on Arkham. I tried to repeat history with the 2nd animated movie called Suicide Squad: Hell to Pay did came out a few years after the OG live-action one.

Note#2- It's fun to watch people when I tell them that Sylvester Stallone is a shark. However he only did the voice.

Note#3- I think the movie played a joke on us when they killed half the cast like that. They told us not to get attached but I didn't think they go kill everyone like that, especially this early.

Here's the trailer