You Will Cry!!! With the Ninja Turtles

1. I'm going to make you watch the original Ninja Turtles movie...You will cry...When you see Splinter communicates to the turtles.

I love you all my sons.

2. You will cry...When you see "A Kodak Moment"

 Leo...Don't.

Wait a minute, I didn't mean this exact scene, I meant the very next few seconds that happens afterwards.

Is that a mouth inside a mouth?

This will give people nightmares.

Note#1-The 1st scene was very emotional.

Note#2- The 2nd scene was also emotional. Donny and April came in on the scene and joked, "It's a Kodak moment". A term that is greatly out of date due to the rise of everyone with phones has camera. They all started laughing and you can see the actor within the suit. That reveals way too much and can cause nightmares.

Here's the trailer if you want to see

1. You will cry...That instead of Bebop and Rocksteady, you get their knockoffs, Tokka and Rahzar.

2. That Professor Perry didn't reveal his alien nature.

Wait? Are you telling me this guy is suppose to be an alien!?

Note#1- Bebop and Rocksteady were fan favorites from the original cartoon. Instead, we get these two original characters. However, Tokka and Rahzar did become cult favorites over the years.

From what I heard that the co-creators of the franchise didn't want Bebop and Rocksteady. One is for legal issues at the time. The other, it was because they wanted to distance the movies from the cartoons. However, they don't have full control at the time.

Note#2- The original ending of the 2nd movie was going to have Professor Perry opening his stomach and revealing he's an alien known as an Utrom. They are group of aliens in the original comics that were stranded on Earth and working inside TCRI. These aliens were pink squids inside robot bodies that are disguised as human. The Utroms were one day, shipping a truck of chemicals and one of them fell out and landed in the sewers. You know the rest of the story.

This is what David Warner suppose to look like.

Krang was loosely based on these aliens. Krang's story was he was more a evil warlord that was punished by being reduced to a pink brain thing than an Utrom.

Sadly, the reason the original ending of Perry opening his stomach didn't happen is because makers of the movies figure this will confuse people. Viewers will think he's Krang, who is from well known cartoon during the height of Turtlemania than a race of aliens from an indie comic.

If you rewatch the movie, you can see plenty of hints and foreshadowing but they chose not to air that ending.

Here's the trailer

Hey Chris, It's me Raph from the orginal cartoon. You remember I always broke the 4th wall. Seems werid I'm the oddman out when all my later versions are the angry guy. Anyways, I notice your about the write the next entry below. Before you write that, what about the 3rd movie?

I ahh... Can't think much. Alright, I write something.

Umm...You cry...that it loosely loosely based on the Renet vs Savanti Romero arc. Err..Yeah.

Note- Yeah, that's the best I can come up with. 3rd movie is clearly the weakest of the original trilogy but I can't think of anything that stands out greatly to poke fun of. The movie feels like watching a filler, no iconic enemies or anything of importance.

The time scepter did originate from the comics. Renet who is apprentice of a Time Lord(no relation to Doctor Who), meets with the Turtles and uses the scepter to go on time traveling adventures and fight against Savanti Romero. They fought him in different time periods, including feudal Japan and we see the origin of the Foot Clan.

Here's the trailer

TMNT: Coming Out of their Shells... You cry...When you see the turtles on stage and play rock music as they are barely lip syncing to the music.

Also watching cheap costume Shredder sings "I Hate Music". 

You hate music so much, why are you singing about it?

Or watch the behind the scenes interviews where the turtles look like they are on drugs.

Note- There was an actual musical tour in the 90s during the height of Turtlemania. They had a sequel call "Gettin' Down in Your Town where they perform at Six Flags. 

There was also a behind the scenes documentary on a separate VHS tape that has full of interviews. However it's all fictional and everyone is pretending that the Turtles exist in real life. The behind the stage setting uses different costumes from the stage ones and they are noticeably far more worse. Their mouths hang open and they barely move. Raph is half asleep and saying "Yep....Yep". Mikey is slurring his words and moves his hands around in slow motion.

I'm going to make you watch Mutant Turtles: Superman Legend... You will cry...When you see the Turtles...Combine to form Turtle Saint...Wait what?

Since when the Turtles were Voltron?

That the Turtles turn into tall green Wolverines.

Hey Bub

That Shredder turns into a Godzilla-sized dragon.

Why would Shredhead become a giant dragon?

You see cussing in your innocent childhood cartoon.

Admit, you read these lines with the Nesquik Bunny and Uncil Phil in your head and it killed your Childhood.

Here's a video that has the opening and a short recap of how the Turtles become Super Mutants

Note- I actually had some of the toys that was based off of Super Mutants and Metal Mutants versions when I was a kid. I think Turtle Saint aka Voltron wannabe is Japanese-only.

Japan wanted to advertise these new toys so they created 2 episodes based of these figures. It never came to America. It's very weird so see the Turtles all anime-like with them transforming into Super Sayian and then throwing Hadokens at each other. The 2nd episode is the TMNT going all Saint Seiya.(Never saw the show, I only saw a Transformers/Saint Seiya parody and that's it.)

It's kind of funny that Season 5 of 2003 series is about Turtles getting magical training to defeat a demonic Shredder that can turn into a dragon. Did that season rip off this obscure show?

As for the cussing, from what I heard, the fan translators try to spice up the translation and threw in curse words in it for no reason. 

You will watch, We Wish You a Turtles Christmas and Turtles Tunes.

You cry as see the shoe wearing Turtles have those creepy grins with dem choppers as they sing in horrible Jamaican accents.

Mikey randomly going to opera mode as Raph randomly steals Santa's bell for a second and than gives it back.

Rapping while wrapping presents. Leo can't row a boat. Raph singing about friendship. They tell kids don't talk to strangers that look like that wear cheap costume ninjas.

Note- Yeah, this mainly aimed towards toddlers. What's weird is this came in 94, the same time the Red Sky Seasons were airing and the original cartoon suddenly grew balls and became dark with the channel 6 building exploding.

Same show, completely different tone

I'm going to make you watch Ninja Turtles: The Next Mutation....you will cry when you see a turtle...with boobs.

How does a reptile have something only mammals have?

That Shredder dies in the 2nd episode and the Mary Sue Venus kills him in one shot.

Note#1- There was a short one season live action show. The most notable change was they found a 5th member to the team. She was from the same glass bowl and got mutated but was wash ashore before Splinter found them. Fans didn't like her because the show focus too much on her and she seen as a Mary Sue. The show was hated for other reasons because it was too goofy for people to take.

One of the two co-creators down(Peter Laird) rights hates Venus a fiery passion and doesn't want her appear again. Even joking about her isn't allow in the office. When the entire TMNT mulitverse was revealed in Turtles Forever, this one season live-action was noticeably missing.

2. Shredder did came back near the end of the season alive and hinted more adventures to come but the show was cancelled.

Here's the opening to the show

You will cry...You will cry...When you see...That's in CGI.

Note-  I know some people whose only reason to hate this flick is that it's in CGI and not costumes/animaltronics. They honestly believe that Turtles 3 is better just because it not done in CGI, I'm seriously not joking. That be saying Assault on Arkham or Dark Knight Returns are terrible movies while Suicide Squad and Batman v Superman are great movies, simply because the 1st two are animated while the latter are live-action. Obviously, some people never watch anything Turtles related since the early 90s and vaguely remember what the latter movies were like when the quality dropped.  Also, people hate this because they didn't grow up with it. I remember people hated on the 03 cartoon for the same reason.

Here's the trailer for the 2007 movie

You will watch Turtles Forever...You will cry...That it openly mocks the original cartoon and they couldn't get the original voices.

Note- Turtles Forever was a TV movie as the grand finale to the 03 show as well as major crossover of several versions of Ninja Turtles to celebrate the 25th anniversary of the franchise.

The TV movie did poke fun at the classic cartoon, a little too much for fans liking. While the original is goofy and silly, the Turtles personalities all seems to be the same as clown cowards.

As for the voices, 03 show has actors from NYC while the classic one is from California. So it be time consuming and expensive to get the original voices. Also there's union and non-union deals.

The 2012 show also had a crossover. It had a far better balance to kinda mock the classic show while being faithful and respectful to the original show. Also the actors are from LA and it's easier to get the original cast. However it was done in a short 20 minute episode and doesn't have that epic movie feel to it.

Sadly, they gave completely rewrite the original Krang's origin. He was banished by these Kraang. Great idea to rewrite years of Krang's mysterious origins and connect him to a re-imagining of him.

Here's the trailer

Here's the trailer of the 2nd crossover

1. You will cry...That they came from an alien race. 

Are you telling me there's a whole planet of turtles? That's the most stupidest thing I ever heard.

Don't you agree with me Kerma?

2. When you see an overweight blond-hair man...Played by Whoopi Goldburg.

3. That April O'Neil...Is not a redhead in this movie. 

How dare you change her hair color. The "original" April was always a redhead.

4. When you see Oroko Saki aka the Shredder...As a white man in a business suit.

What?! Another classic villain re-imagined as a light-hair man in a business suit? 1st Bowser, than M.Bison. Enough is enough!

Or that the light-hair man in the business suit wasn't the Shredder at all and he works for a Japanese guy who is the real Shredder.

Those scars obviously came from the 2012 series.(Which with quietly get retcon away in the sequel)

5. That you barely saw Baxter Stockman.

This is the best picture I can find of him

Note#1- Micheal Bay was one of the producers of the movie and at a upfront presentation, he said, "They came from an alien race." This caused a huge uproar across the entire internet. It was like he was radically altering their entire origin story. Imagine Batman was a demon bat from hell rather than a guy in a bat suit.

However, I think Bay was maybe referring to the Utroms from the original comics who created the ooze. Sadly most causal Turtles fans are mostly familiar with the original cartoon and the original three movies. None of these had Utroms in them. 

So yes, the Turtles technically came from an alien race, not they themselves are an alien race. Micheal Bay should of worded it better. When the movie trailer came out, it took a jab at the alien rumors.

People did make fun of the idea of a whole planet of turtles when the alien outrage was happening. Umm...Did everyone forgot about Planet of the Turtleoids in the classic cartoon?

Note#2- When I told the joke to several people that Whoopi Goldburg is an overweight blond-hair man in the movie, their jaws drop and having a hard time imaging it. They must of been thinking that Whoopi Goldburg radically changed her appearance and doing whiteface. Just like the movie, White Chicks. LOL, no she's is playing a character who is loosely based off a character from the original cartoon who was a white male called Burne Thompson.

Well it took over twenty years for Burne to be in a live action movie but renamed as Burnaette. It's funny because as a kid, I thought Chief Sterns was actually Mr. Thompson and the cameraman timing April was Vernon. It was easy to believe as a little kid since he was an overweight man in a office room that screams at April.

APRIL!!!! RAWRAWRAWRAWR!!!

Note#3-When pics and trailers of April was shown, (aside the controversial decision that she's played by Megan Fox) everyone complain that she's not a fairskin redhead. Ehh...Does anyone know that April wasn't a redhead in the original comics. Heck, her race was questionable. She debately either White, Black, Hispanic, or Mixed. Her being a fair-skin redhead came from the cartoon.

Take a guess which one of the two is April. No it's not the one on the left.

Here's a better image of April

Tho at the very beginning, she had straight or wavy hair. Shortly right after, she did had a perm and a trip to the tanning bed and stay with that appearance for several years. April was kinda based on Kevin Eastman's(co-creator) girlfriend at the time who was biracial.

Note#4- Early interviews from William Fletcher said he was playing Eric Sacks who is also the Shredder. Fans outraged that their beloved Japanese villain was a white man in a business suit just like M.Bison. Later on, another trailer came and it showed Eric Sacks talking to shadowy Japanese man and said, "We're taking your suit to the next level." That blew my mind when I saw that.

When the movie came out, Oroku Saki was outside of his suit in only two scenes and Eric Sacks had far more screentime. People wonder if there were last minute reshoots. Few months later, Fletcher admitted the internet that he was meant to be Shredder originally.

It's nice that Shredder was back as a Japanese guy but I think doing last minute reshoots may of cause more harm than good and left things to be rushed around. Splinter and Shredder acted like they know each other when it's their 1st time fighting each other.

I guessing the original version was going to have Shredder as a legacy character where Sacks pick up the mantle. Maybe he's an Utrom who took an identity of the Shredder from ancient legend. Or Sacks is the reincarnation of Shredder and Splinter is meant to be a reincarnation of Hamato Yoshi.

Note#5-Well according to the credits, Baxter is in the movie. He was barely seen on April's video from her childhood in her dad's laboratory. I'm guessing was meant to have a bigger role but his role must of been handed down to Eric Sacks when the last minute reshoots happen. For all I know, the original version may have April fighting Baxter in the lab while Eric Sacks/Shredder was fighting the Turtles on the roof.

Here's the 1st trailer before the reshoots happen

Here's the 2nd trailer after the reshoots

You will cry...that the entire cast outside the Turtles and Splinter has been replaced except for Megan Fox and Will Arnett. The two who we don't want to see.


Note- Megan Fox as April was not a popular choice. I actually didn't mind Will Arnett in the 2nd movie because to me, he seem more like Vernon was in the original cartoon than he did in the 1st movie. In the 1st one, he was more a Casey-lite love-interest for April rather than a coward who likes to hog the spotlight and brags(and lie) how great he is.

It is true that the 90% percent human cast did greatly get replaced. However it's not a huge deal for many reasons.

1.  In the 1st movie, Shredder was originally meant to be a white dude in a business suit but quickly recast at the last minute during reshoots due to fans complaining about a whitewashed Shredder. Eric Sacks was now an underling of the Japanese Shredder. However this led to alot of last minute rewrites. Since we got a new movie built with a fresh start, there's no need for a white Shredder or last-minute casting Shredder.
2. Karai does have a very small role in 1st movie as the Shredder's 2nd-in-command and she didn't have a big impact. Same can be said for the 2nd one. I don't think anyone is going to notice it and make a big deal about the change of casting. Good news is both of the actors had more screentime in the 2012 cartoon as different characters.
3. You barely notice Baxter was in the 1st movie at all. His name is in the credits but you don't see him. If anything, I don't think anyone is going to complain about someone you didn't notice.

Here's the trailer

Just saying the title alone is enough.

Note- It is funny to mention this to people who are unaware of this crossover. However it's quite an epic crossover.

Here's the trailer

You Will Cry...2019 part 2

Here's the 2nd half of all the jokes on all the stuff from the movies of 2019.

Hey uh Chris, aren't you forgetting a certain movie?

Uh..No. There hasn't been a Deadpool 3 or anything?

Not my series exactly, I mean the film series that my two movies spun off from, didn't a certain movie came out during the summer. You know, this one.

Oh yeah, Dark Phoenix,  What you want me to say? Nothing stands out really on the 2nd attempt to adapt the Dark Phoenix saga. Yes, it's sad the series ended on a whimper but other than that, for better or worse, nothing stands out. I can't make fun of it or make jokes on this one. If you want the best adaptation, go watch the animated series.

Oh, I sure you think of something?

Fine. I'm going to make you watch Dark Phoenix....You will Cry, that umm...Wolverine isn't in it...Errr yeah.

 What!?Man, no one came watches X-Men to see Cyclops, Storm, Nightcrawler, or Beast. They come to see Wolverine(and Deadpool), if he's not here, than what's the point of watching?

Note- To most people whose only familiar with the movies and only them, most think Wolverine is the main character of the entire series. However past decade had the 1st Class prequels that made Xavier the main while Hugh only plays cameos besides his time travel event in Days of Future's Past.

Wolverine is like Jack Sparrow is to the Pirates of the Caribbean movies or Scorpion and Sub-Zero of the Mortal Kombat series. A very popular character who gets mistaken for the main characters. X-Men in the comics and show is more about a group than single-handily focus on one guy.

If you asked someone whose the leader of the X-Men, nobody is going to say Cyclops. The dude got shafted in the movies and never seen as the group's leader.

Here's the trailer if you want to see

*Spoiler Warning, skip to the next section if you don't want to be spoiled.*

You will cry...When you see...The Ending. 

Ugh!! If Jessie's backstory, the furnace, or the ending to 3 wasn't bad enough.

Also that Rex doesn't have feathers.

Your going to run this joke to the ground.

Yep.

Note- Yes, the ending does get to you. Even Tim Allen had a hard time trying to say his lines because how emotional he was during the scene.

Yes, I know Rex was around before feather dinos become well known. You rarely see feather dino toys in stores and most mainstream crowds are unfamiliar with it. It be silly to hate on Rex because of it.

Here's the trailer

*Spoiler Warning for the whole thing, skip if you want*

1. You Will Cry... That there is no connection to the rest of the Marvel Multiverse.

If one can dream.

Man, I was hoping to see the Earth 616 Spider-man, or Tobey, Andrew, Miles, Miguel, or any other version.

2. You Will Cry...That this cliffhanger will go unresolved due to Sony not wanting Marvel Studios to make more Spider-Man movies. 

Well maybe Sony will continue onward but it be subpar and not as good as the others. If not, they bring back Andrew Garfield and have 50 storylines shoved in one movie and even better, there were deleted scenes with 50 more unnecessary storylines with Peter's dad being alive.

You know everything is resolved with this old piece of news. I know.

3. With the whole world knowing who Spider-Man is, the next story is an adaptation of the infamous story, One More Day. In order to restore his secret identity and save his love ones, he has to sell his relationship with MJ that he had for one whole day to the devil and...ok this sounds more stupid than what happens in the comics. There's a world of difference between dating for a day compared to years of marriage.

4. You cry...That they tease you that Sandman, Hydro-man, Cyclone, and Molten Man are in the movie but it's not them.

Note#1- All the trailers showed Nick Fury telling Peter that Mysterio is from another universe. There is an established Marvel Multiverse with in the comics and shows. The MCU never did discover dimensional travel and explore the other universes.

Spider-Man: Far from Home is meant to be the end of Phase 3 where it was the aftermath of Avengers: Infinity War and Endgame. With the future of the MCU with Phase 4 and others are up to air, nobody knows what the future will bring as of yet. Them exploring the multiverse would make the MCU look like it's taking the next step in a big way.

However, the truth is that Mysterio was making a cover story to dupe Spidey and Fury, so there is no exploring the Multiverse. Maybe in the upcoming Doctor Strange movie that we have a few years.

Yeah, they could bridge their world to *Googles Marvels multiverse* to Earth-TRN414.

Note#2- Sony who had the film rights to Spider-Man agreed to work with Marvel Studios to make Spider-man movies. Shortly after Far From Home was released, Sony wanted to make Spider-Man on their own with no Marvel. Either this was the end especially with the cliffhanger ending, or they would continue on their own with no references or connections to the other Marvel characters or events.

Thankfully, Sony and Marvel made a deal and we be getting a 3rd Tom Holland film in the future.

Note#3- The post credits showed Spider-Man's secret identity going public. I joked the next story is going to be based on the infamous storyline from the mid-2000s, One More Day.

In the comics  events of Civil War(which the MCU movie is loosely based on), Spider-Man unmasked himself to the world. Problem is, his enemies now know who he is and planned to attack his love ones. Aunt May was shot and showing no signs of recovery. 

The Marvel version of the devil called Mephisto appeared and offer Peter that he will save Aunt May and restore his secret identity if he gives up his marriage to MJ. They agreed and his years of marriage was magically erased from existence. Peter and MJ remember but not the whole world around them.

Everyone hated this direction. Marvel's higher ups thought Spidey be better off being a single man. Our hero making a deal with the devil? Also they were unaware MJ was preggers, who was magically aborted. It took 10 long years to finally get them back together. Hopefully the MCU won't follow this story.

Note#4- Mysterio's Elementals were loosely based on members of Spidey's rogues gallery.

Here's the trailer

You gave spoiler warnings, Tom is now giving spoiler warnings. Well the trailer does spoil the ending of Endgame.

You Cry...That you rewatch the death of Mufasa again the 2nd time.

That they ruined the iconic song

Look on the bright side, at least it doesn't look like they sneak a sex scene in a kids film.

Why she giving Simba this look as he's on top of her and....Wait! Eww Eww Eww!!!!

Wow! There's furry porn in a Disney movie?

Note- During the scene where Simba and Nala fall in love as the song plays, "Can You Feel The Love Tonight". The problem is, the entire scene happens in the afternoon, which clashed with the lyrics. The original animated one actually took place in late afternoon and then nighttime.

Alot people claimed that Simba and Nala were procreating Kopa Kiara during that scene. Other people said Disney would never do something like that and that people were reading way too deeply over a little scene. They were simply falling in love but didn't do anything on camera.

Here's the trailer if you want to see

1. I'm going to make you watch Joker...You Will Cry...They gave Joker an actual origin story. Oh and he doesn't fall in a vat of acid.

2. That Jared Leto isn't in it. Man, no one came to see Joaquin Phoenix, they came to see the singer from Thirty Seconds to Mars.

*Spoiler Warning on the next two bits*

3. That they ripoff Austin Powers and made Joker and Batman brothers. Are you kidding me? 1st the movie Spectre actually made James Bond and Blofeld brothers(well adopted bros), now they guys.
They made Wolverine and Sabretooth bros in the same movie that has my mouthless counterpart.

4. That we see the death of Bruce's parents for the 24574th time.

Note#1- Most versions of the Joker has a mysterious past. Nobody knows who he is, even himself. He could be a failed comedian, a gangster hitman, abused by parents, an ancient evil.

I'm not exactly sure what happened. Sometimes I remember it one way, sometimes another. If I'm going to have a past, I prefer multiple choice!

His clashing backstories have been mention in the various different versions. Even the Heath Ledger version had different stories of how he got his scars. The only thing that's true is he was there at ACE Chemicals when Batman showed up and the guy who would become Joker fell in a vat of acid.

Joker's movie a standalone story with no connection to the others. It's meant to be loosely based on the Joker and tell it's own story. It's to tell how someone can go downhill and end up becoming the Joker. Tho for all we know, this solo Joker movie could be one of the many made up tales of how Joker started his start of villainy.

As for the acid vat thing, most people who are familiar with the Batman live-action movies and only the live-action movies think it's only a "Micheal Keaton thing." Ehh, no. The cartoons, comics, video games, all showed the man who becomes Joker comes from a vat of acid.

Note#2- People had mixed opinions of Jared Leto's version of Joker from Suicide Squad. Some say he's great, others say he's terrible. His Joker was highly advertised and it turns out he was only in it for ten minutes.  People say it doesn't matter how great or terrible he is, he didn't get a chance to shine. According to the actor, alot of his scenes were cut.

Then a few years later, a Joker movie came out without the popular singer/actor. Fans of Leto were not happy about this, even the actor himself  "feels alienated and upset". However it's simply a stand-alone movie with no connection with the DCEU. Them getting a different actor doesn't seem a big deal if it's an alternate universe. 

Then years later, Suicide Squad gets a semi-sequel with Birds of Prey with a vaguely seen Joker in a flashback scene. Love him or hate him, dude seems like he is getting the shaft.

*Spoiler Warning on the next two bits*

Note#3- Arthur(pre-Joker) was wondering who she's writing letters to. One day when she isn't looking, he took a peak at them. According to it, Thomas Wayne had an affair with one of his employees and got her pregnant. This means that he and Bruce are half-brothers. Arthur tried to meet with Thomas but he told him to get away and tell him his mother is crazy.

We then find out his mother isn't really his to begin with. She is caught in illusion that Thomas had a relationship with her and Arthur is their biological son.

Regardless if this is true or not, even for a one shot stand-alone story. The mere idea of Joker and Batman being related is hard to believe.

Note#4- You seen one death of Bruce's parents, you seen them all. They are featured in every single version. It does get annoying for some viewers and they don't want to be hammered down and rewatching their deaths for the 4857th time. It didn't help the last theatrical version had them in Batman v Superman. It's not a full on Batman movie to begin with and it doesn't serve a purpose. The only forgivable thing about that is irony that two of the actors ended up as enemies on The Walking Dead.

However you really don't see their deaths. You only saw the riots in the city that started with the Joker. The Wayne family try to leave these crazy events as they go down a dark alley as they were followed by a man with a gun. It wasn't exactly shoved in our faces, more like showing how one crazy event led to another.

Here's the trailer

*Major spoilers ahead, skip to next part*

You will cry...That John Connor dies in the 1st five minutes. Well, time to leave the theaters.

Note-The story another terminator that was loose that Sarah and John didn't know was around during the ending of T2. It gang up on John three years later and shot him.

Alot people were not happy to see one of the main heroes to die like he did. It left a horrible taste in people's mouths and killed the mood to see the remainder of the movie.

John Connor has "died" several times in the past but those are forgivable compared to this.

• In the 3rd movie, John learns he dies in the future from Arnold. Having future knowledge can prevent his death.
• The original ending to Salvation had John died but Marcus(the cyborg) will wear his skin to pretend to be John since he is a symbol to the resistance. It's a shocking twist but John Connor will still "live".
• He becomes a Terminator in Genisys. However the timeline is heavily altered and Sarah and Kyle can conceived a new John and raise him to fight a new Skynet that Matt Smith will create in some never made Genisys sequel.

Here's the trailer

You Will Cry...That just when the hype of the 1st movie is dying down, a sequel comes out. Great, we never going to stop seeing Elsa dolls in every aisle of the store. We going to keep seeing Frozen calendars, Frozen cheesesticks, Olaf plushies, Frozen trading cards, Frozen action figures with spring loaded fist. It will never die.

Note- 

This was me when the 1st movie came out.

I don't follow every single little Disney movie that comes out and then suddenly, Frozen came out and it replaced Duck Dynasty as where it is talked about thing and you hear thousands of versions of "Let It Go".

I finally got around to see it last year, simply because it's a playable level in the new Kingdom Hearts. That game has a overly complicated storyline and last thing I need is to get confused on some reference that only makes sense to somebody who seen Frozen but I could assume it some sort of 825th incarnation to Xehanort.

Here's the trailer

*Major Spoilers for the whole thing*

1. You will cry tha....you know what, what's the point of watching? All the ideas that Force Awakens had were thrown out of the window when The Last Jedi came out, leaving little to nothing for the last movie. Also that everyone you love is dead and all you get is these characters who you barely know.

Just like that, all dead.

And all we get is these barely developed characters.

I'm sorry but the rest of you are simply acquaintances.

2. That they are totally ripping off of the Expanded Universe story, Dark Empire where the Emperor comes back in a clone body.

I know the Emperor coming back from the dead ruins Anakin being the chosen one of the prophecy. At least you can excuse Dark Empire being written before the Prequels came out but what's Rise of Skywalker's defense?

3. That Chewie dies midway. Well this is great, don't tell me they brought back Lando, just to kill him off.

Please don't

4. That Force Healing is a thing. 

For those who never saw Clone Wars, Fives died knowing the secret of Order 66 that makes the Clone Troopers suddenly get brainwashed to kill the Jedi.

Do I see a cur...Yeah I know, I'm too lazy to photoshop it and I let a few slide.

5. That fan favorite Ashoka is dead.(Maybe)

Wait, your gone too?

6. That Rey is a Palpatine. So if the Emperor is a grandfather, than that would mean that he....Eww! Eww! Eww!

7. Hux is working for the good guys. Wait what!?

The guy who gave a big speech and blew up planets!?

8. That Rey and Kylo made out.

 Dudes, your basically siblings. That's gross man. Than again, this is the same franchise that has Luke and Leia kissing.

• Anakin got conceived when Palpatine and Plagueis were playing around with Midi-chlorians. Sort of making him the emperor's son in a way.
• Rey and Kylo are copies of Jaina and Jacen Solo from the pre-Disney Expanded Universe.
• Also Rey takes the Skywalker name with Luke and Leia's ghosts watching, meaning she's adopted into the family, which makes Kylo her bro or cousin.

Who's had sex with her brother, but they are not blood related so it's okay, sort of.- John Locke in a Mad TV parody of the show Lost.

Note#1-At first, it was mainly Han who died. It was a shock at the time. Ford said he thought his character should sacrifice himself way back in Return of the Jedi. However it got declined and that was the last Star Wars movie at the time while the entire Expanded Universe had rules not to killed off Han, Luke, and Leia.(Ha!) Over the years, we all forgot about Ford's request. Then Force Awakens happens.

Next, Fisher died in real life just before the release of Last Jedi. That movie gave us Luke who was completely different from how he was in the original trilogy and seen as a huge disservice to his character. Then they ended it with Luke dead and some felt it was done in an uncaring manner,same with Ackbar. This is not what people wanted to see.

Episode 9 seem more respectable. Leia did died it was mainly because the actress was gone in real life and they can't keep using unused footage/body doubles/CGI stand-ins forever. Also you see everyone's sad reactions and had a funeral.Plus you see Ackbar's son that can seen at the Resistance base, instead watching Ackbar get carelessly wasted.

The main cast could be potentially well developed characters but they never became that. Episode 8 made it worse for them. Poe got caught up with the stupid mutiny storyline while Finn got caught up with the pointless casino sidequest. Rey is still seen as a Mary Sue. Episode 9 at least tried to somewhat fix it with them as a group going on treasure hunting missions, however it was too late with it being the last movie of the saga.

Note#2-  There was a comic story that took place six years after Return of the Jedi where Palpatine came back by transferring his spirit into a clone body. Luke did turn to the dark side but Leia brought him back and they fought the Emperor together.

Note#3- There was a scene where Chewie was captured and taken off in a imperial ship. It gets destroyed and the main characters get upset. Then it was revealed that Chewie was on another nearby ship.

Note#4- 

Force Heal isn't a new thing. It's been around in a ton of Legends/EU material. It was something movie-only fans saw it for the 1st time. Some asked why Force Heal couldn't been done before? There alot stuff that's been mention. Not everyone knows it's powers. Also Kylo dies when he transferred all his life to bring Rey back to the dead. You think Qui-Gon want his student to give his live, or Anakin's mother have her outlive her son?

Note#5- During the final battle with the emperor, Rey heard voices in her head to get back up and fight against the villain. Most of the voices were various Jedi with the very same actors. One of them was a major character called Ashoka who was last seen alive during the events of Episode 6. Many people took the scene of the voices is that Ashoka is dead and her force ghost was talking to Rey. However one of the showrunners of Clone Wars, Rebels, the Mandalorian stated she isn't dead.

Note#6- Actually it was revealed from Episode 9's novelization that Rey's father isn't exactly emperor's son through natural means but an non-identical clone that ran off and fall in love with a woman. 

There is a group of people that like Episode 8's twist that Rey is a nobody. She simply came from parents that sold her for drinking money, meaning that everyone can become a hero. Then Episode 9 with a different director decided to retcon Rey being related to the Emperor. People say imagine if Return of the Jedi had Vader lying to Luke that he is his father and his real father is elsewhere. Honesty, it didn't bug me but those who like the twist of Rey being a nobody say otherwise.

Note#7- My jaw dropped when it was revealed that Hux was a spy for the resistance. How can he be a good guy? He really doing this just to get back at Kylo. Even still, I can't imagine him putting the First Order at risk like that.

Note#8-  Rey and Kylo was a popular fanfic pairing during when The Force Awakens was out. A girl with a bad boy who may turn good. However it was hard to see them together because of Rey's mysterious parentage. Some saw her as Luke's long lost daughter or Han and Leia's. People wondered if Kylo is a copy of Jacen Solo/Darth Caedus, then Rey is a copy of Jaina Solo. The pairing got even more popular on The Last Jedi when they got some sort of magical bond. There was one scene she saw him shirtless and she became embarrassed to look. Well after Kylo became good and just before he died, they kissed. 

I like to toy around with people that it's incest. Episode 1 had Anakin with a mysterious virgin birth. In Episode 3, Palpatine was telling Anakin about Plagueis the Wise and he had the power to create life. People took this as a clue for the answer to Anakin's virgin birth. I saw something years ago that the EU wrote how Palpatine and (mainly)Plagueis were experimenting around with midi-chlorians and the force counteract by making Anakin's mom preggers.

However it seems others had made the joke Rey and Kylo being incest as well. What made the joke became more mainstream is a more recent comic of Vader seeing a vision.

Others believe the dark lord help conceived Anakin. However the guys behind the comic said that was not the case.

Here's the trailer