You Will Cry...With the Dinosaurs from Jurassic Park

A collection of jokes based on Jurassic Park and other Dinosaur movies.

I'm going to make you watch any of these movies...You will cry...That none of these have feathered dinosaurs. Man, nobody came to see these movies to see featherless dinos.

Note- Everything we knew about Dinosaurs back in the 90s is nowdays is scientifically inaccurate. The advancements of studying dinosaurs bones have discovered that most of them have feathers.

A whole new Jurassic movie was coming and when the trailers were shown, it was showed featherless dinos.

They do have an explanation within the movie because the 1st movie said they filled the incomplete DNA with frogs, explaining how the dinos adapt and how they change sexes to reproduce. However the whole part with frog DNA is also a good enough reason to explain in later movies why the dinos don't have feathers. They even explain that the people who run the island wants to show more fangs and scales to impress the tourists than to show how they suppose to look.


I'm sure people would more complain about The Land Before Time milking yet another sequel than not having feathered dinos but I admit I judged it and The Good Dinosaur by the covers and joked that they didn't have feathered dinos. Actually there was but it wasn't the main characters. However be weird with the milked to death series drastically changed the outlook of the main characters.

Here's the trailer to Jurassic World

Trailer to Good Dinosaur (You don't see them)

Trailer to the most recent Land Before Time (You barely saw them)

I'm going to make you watch Jurassic Park in 3D...You will cry...That the raptors...Don't have feathers. Who cares this movie was made before discovery of feathered raptors,Spielberg is friends with Lucas and you know Lucas like to re-edit his movies like crazy.

Note-A few years ago, I did wondered if Spielberg will digitally add feathers if he re-release the film. Well it was put in theaters again a few years later and there were no changes.

You Will Cry...When you get the end of Act 1.

Admit it, this got to you.

I'm not going to do the rest of the series. I seen one or two of the sequels but I never did get invested in the rest of the series and from what I hear, this milked to death series isn't worth it.

1. I'm going to make you watch Jurassic Park 3. It's the best of the entire series. Mostly due to the Raptors have quills, which is the closest the series had to feathered dinosaurs. 

This is why JP3 is far far better than all the other movies.

Ok, Not Really

2. You will cry that the T-Rex got pwned by some random dino called the Spinosaurus.

Note#1- Jurassic Park 3 was an attempt to make the raptors have feathers but people didn't like the new designs. Regardless if they had feathers or not, this was the most boring of the entire franchise.

Note#2- The T-Rex was the big favorite of the dinosaurs in the films and suddenly, he got pwned by this Spinosaurus very early on. People were not happy.

Jurassic World had a scene where the T-Rex busted through a skeleton display of the Spinosaurus as a jab to JP3's moment.

You will cry...When you see...Minion butt...Ahh my eyes!! Where's the bleach?

You cry...That the 1st five minutes have a featherless T-rex. 

Five minutes in and the movie already upsets me. Time to leave the theater.

Note#1- There was one scene a Minion walked around in a thong. That scene alone can kill people's eyes.

Note#2- I'm going to run the feather dino joke into the ground. I seriously doubt somebody going to condemn the whole film for one little scene.

Here's the trailer if anyone wants to see

1. You will cry....That the T-Rex looks is a rainbow-colored giant chicken.

2. That this will look outdated in a few decades.

Note- Dinosaur Island is a lesser-known movie made by the UK and Australia. It has a cult following mostly due to the fact that this is actually how dinosaurs actually look by what paleontologists are saying how they look with all those fur and feathers.

However, with more advancements on the study of the bones in several decades, they may completely looked different than what's shown in the movie. You could argue that the Jurassic Park series is the most realistic dinosaur series because they actually have an excuse of them being frog-hybrids while Dinosaur Island will start to look out of date over the years.

Transformers: Age of Extinction

You will cry...When you see the Dinobots...In the last ten minutes. Oh and they don't talk.

Note- Every trailer, poster, and merchandise showed the Dinobots. You don't see them until the very very end. That sucks!!

Here's the trailer for the movie

You cry...That the Autobots have less screentime then Age of Extinction. Even the Dinobots got less screentime.

Note-Age of Extinction is the 2nd "best" Transformers movie after the 07 movie. I only saying that because the Autobots for once got actual screentime.  I'm not saying it's great or anything. Sadly they got less after the 4th movie. Fans complain the Dinobots only were in the last 10 minutes of AOE. Here they even have less screentime. At least AOE had them part of the big climax where they barge into Hong Kong and stomping the villains. Here it's a minor comical scene and Grimlock appearing to quickly kill off the Suicide Squad Cons.

1. You will cry...When you see all the dinos that were left behind when the volcano erupted.

Admit it, you cried during this scene

2. That Dr. Ian Malcolm and Dr. Henry Wu were barely in it.

Note#1- Admit it, that scene really did got to you.

Note#2- I kinda had a feeling that Ian only had a small role and he's there for manly for fanservice and...No I'm not talking about that shirtless scene. Even in the trailers, you can tell he was mainly in the press meetings.

Dr. Henry Wu on the other hand, I expected he had a bigger role at least. He was a minor hi and bye character in the original movie but years later, he came back as a full fledged villain that help made the Indominus Rex to be way too powerful. I kinda guess he be back to make more trouble but all he did was make small appearances during auction scenes.

Here's the trailer if you want to watch