You Will Cry!!! With Giant Monsters(Kaiju)

This is a list of Giant Monsters/Kaiju that doesn't star Godzilla. Examples: King Kong, Gamera, Cloverfield, Pacific Rim.

I going to make you watch Japanese King Kong and King Kong appears in Edo and... Wait, you actually can't watch it.

Note- There were actual King Kong movies made in Japan in 1933(same year as the US one) and 1938. Due to the film reels at the time were extremely flammable, as well as bombing from WWII, and other stuff. A good chunk of movies made were lost forever, including these. Most people were unaware these exist and most of the evidence of their existence came from really old magazines from Japan.

I'm going to make you watch 20 Million Miles to Earth..You will cry...When you see the monster...kill a dog. Man, I don't care who dies, you don't kill a dog. >:(

Here's the trailer

I'm going to make you watch...Varan the Unbelievable...You cry...That the entire movie is about some random navy commander and his wife commenting about a monster and talk about from the sidelines.

Note-The American version of this movie is a completely different movie than the Japanese version.

The Japanese version has people looking for disappearing students at a mountain. The village natives warn them don't go there or they will make their "god" angry. This makes Varan than rampages through out the movie.

The American version, a commander and his wife listen to their vehicle's phone to hear about chemicals dropped in a lake that ended up awakening the monster. Limited stock footage was shown and half the time, the couple react from hearing everything from the phone.

Here's the trailer

I'm going to make you watch King Kong Escapes....You will cry that his enemy is Doctor Who...Wait What?

You telling me King Kong fought this guy?

Note- The human villain in King Kong Escapes is called Dr. Who but he has no connection to the famous British TV show. They were unaware of each other's existence at the time.

Funny enough, his outfit is similar to the 1st Doctor's.

Kong's Who is actually based from a recurring villain from a cartoon series that came out the same year called the King Kong Show and the movie's plot is an adaption of several episodes of the show with Mechani-Kong.

You may be a doctor but your not The Doctor.

Here's the trailer

I'm going to make you watch Gamera vs. Viras. You will cry...When you see...30 straight minutes of stock footage.

Note- Gamera is Godzilla's business rival. Like what Sonic is to Mario. While Godzilla slowly went from villain to anti-hero to cool hero to goofy hero to back to cool hero before the series rebooted. Gamera quickly went from villain to friend of children and guardian of the universe in the span of 2 films before he got his 90s reboot. His films are far more sillier, cheaper, and more campier than Godzilla's.

In Gamera vs Viras. There was a scene where the aliens try to learn about Gamera and we see 30-long minutes of stock footage of his earlier films. The next thing they do is mind-control him and he destroys the same exact dam from his brief villain days and then goes on to destroy the city in black and white footage with a tint of red. (His 1st movie is black and white)

I'm going to make you watch Gamera vs Jiger. You will cry...when you see live footage of an elephant's tusk getting operated.

Note-Despite obliviously being aimed towards young kids far more so than Godzilla's silliest films in the late 60s/early 70s, it's far more violent. You had Gamera screaming in pain with arrows or shurikens embedded in his arms. One had Gamera killed one enemy by drowning it in it's own blood. There was one where two of Gamera's foes fought each other and one of them got it's wings cut off, then his still twitching head, then it's torso sliced up like a carrot and the piece was held up like a potato chip.

Warning, for those with weak stomachs, please skip the next paragraph. It is be very gory and this isn't make believe violence about rubber suit monsters. This is real live footage.

Well in the movie, Gamera was infected with a parasite and the humans were comparing it to elephant. They showed a film on a projector and showed real live-footage of an elephant with it's swollen tusk with maggots inside. The humans then use knifes to operated on it's tusk as you see maggots coming out.

Seriously, what the world would this be shown in any movie, especially for young kids.

I'm going to make you watch Gamera: Super Monster. You will cry...When you see Gamera... killing himself in a lame way.

Note- The last of the classic Gamera films. Gamera vs. Viras had 1/4 of it's movie in stock footage that can be easily cut out while this movie is 98% made of stock footage. The main villain that's rarely seen throughout the movie is a Star Destroyer ripoff that you can see in the pic above. It resurrects all of Gamera's foes and they fight the same exact way as they did in the earlier films and Gamera kills them the same exact way. If you were brought back from the dead and fighting the guy killed you in the same exact location, wouldn't you try to avoid your death and use different tactics.

Speaking of stock footage, he gets mind-controlled again and attacks the same exact dam the 3rd time. The only original footage of Gamera is him flying over the city for a few seconds and him going kamikazi on the Star Destroyer ripoff in a poorly edited fashion. Is this how you kill off a beloved character? You end the series in a lame and terrible way? This movie is bad as Godzilla's Revenge.

From what I heard, the film company Daiei went bankrupt sometime after the previous Gamera film which was 1971. In 1980, They try to get out of bankruptcy by making this film...it didn't work. Thankfully, Gamera got a big reboot in the mid-90s.

You cry...That it takes an hour and a half to see the big ape.

Note- Well it is a remake of the 1933 one and everyone knows they are getting on a boat that leads them to a mysterious island. That is an hour and half of build up.

Here's the trailer

I'm going to make you watch Cloverfield...You will cry...You will cry...when you see 20 straight minutes of annoying collage kids being drunk and worry about their love drama that has nothing to do with the monster.

This is what your going to see for a while.

Note- There is alot movies out there that would built up to the star attraction. A way to set up the story and to tease the audience to keep watching. However with Cloverfield, these kids having nothing to do with the monster, there's no build up or anything. If you were watching the movie for the 1st time, you maybe be scratching your head and wondering if you got the right movie in the DVD player.

There are people I know in real life that simply hate this movie because of this twenty minute long scene.

There are dozens of giant monster/kaiju movies that build up to the star attraction. Examples like: fisherman's boats being mysteriously destroy, missing miners which leads to investigations, boat refugees mysteriously unaffected from radiation from an island that was nuke test site, mysterious strange island showed up in waters while a researcher was investigating reports of a "giant bird". Even the hated 1998 Godzilla(aka Zilla) had mysterious footprints in the mud. 

Here's a trailer of the movie if you want to see

I'm going to make you watch Pacific Rim...You will cry...That the Russian and Chinese robots don't have enough screentime.

Note- I couldn't think of anything to say towards this movie other than their limited screentime.

Here's the trailer

I'm going to make you watch the Gamera 2015 trailer...You will cry...That it's only a short movie, nothing more.

Note- The short was a celebration the 50th anniversary of Gamera and a proof of concept shown at New York Comic-Con. It wasn't intended to be a trailer of a upcoming movie. Sadly, a new movie wasn't meant to be.

Here's the trailer

1. Oh great. It's going to be bad as the other one.

2. You will cry...That it's not connected to the other Cloverfield.

*Warning Major Spoilers!! Skip to the next entry.*

3.That you don't see the aliens till the last 10 minutes.



Note#1-My opinion on this movie is greatly different compare to the original Cloverfield. That 20 minute party scene can set people off.

The 2nd Cloverfield isn't about a Kaiju(Giant Monster) attacking a city. It's about a woman who got abducted and imprisoned in a cellar and she's trying to escape.


Note#2- It's not a sequel/prequel/sidequel to the other Cloverfield, it takes place in a different universe. However it does have some minor connections. Cloverfield woke up because a satellite fell on his head. John Goodman said he works on satellites and he is part of the same company that the jealous loverboy who got a job in Japan. The two different Cloverfields do have similar mythos.


Note#3-*Spoiler warning* When I saw the last 10 minutes, I joked, "Yep, it's a Cloverfield movie. You don't see the aliens till after waiting a long hour." However the movie isn't about the main character fighting aliens. It's about escaping the cellar. John Goodman imprisoned her to protect her from whatever is attacking. He was kinda right but he is a monster that isn't safe to be around.

Here's the trailer

*ending spoilers ahead, skip to the next section if you don't want to be spoiled.*

I'm going to make you watch the Cloverfield Paradox, you will cry...When you see the Cloverfield monster at the very last minute of the movie.

What!? I had to wait to the very last minute to see this guy. 1st the aliens don't show up till the last ten minutes of the 2nd film and now this. Man this series sucks!!

Note- Well the monster wasn't really the main focus of the film. It was a bonus cameo no one saw coming. The main story was a crew on a space station with dealing with alternate universes colliding on the place.

Here's the trailer

*Spoilers ahead, skip to the next section if you don't want to be spoiled*


You will cry....That nearly everyone you loved from the 1st movie is either dead or evil.

She dies very early in the sequel.

He was nowhere to be seen in the sequel but according to the novelization of the sequel (Which may or not be canon). He dies a year after the events of the 1st movie from cancer.

And He's evil

Note- People were not happy what happen to Mako. Also hearing what happened to the original main character is depressing to hear. However he may be alive since the novel may not be canon.

Here's the trailer

You Will Cry!!! With Spider-Man

I'm going to make you watch the theatrical Spider-Man movies from the 1970s...That your bored to sleep.

Note-There was an American live-action show in the late 70s. It didn't held up well. There are several episodes put together as "movies" and they were played international theaters. The only other characters from the source material is mostly some of the staff from the Daily Bugle and no one else. Alot people say that either Spider-Man 3 or Amazing Spider-Man 2 are the worst movies ever when there is actually far worse ones out there.

Here's the trailer if you want to see

I'm going to make you watch Japanese Spider-Man. You will cry...You will cry...When you see Spider-Man...Summoning a giant robot into battle...Wait, WTF?

When you see Spider-Man...Gunning down the bad guys with an automatic gun. Wait, I thought most superheroes have this "do not kill" rule?

WTF...How in the world does Peter Parker have a giant robot. Where does he park it? Does the Daily Bugle pay him that well to have a giant robot? Does the Sinister Six stand a chance against this thing?

Here's the opening

Here's the trailer to the show

Note- In the late 70s, Marvel made a deal with Toei and created this bizarre show. The only connection I see to the popular Marvel character is the suit and he shoots web. The show is funny to laugh at.

You want to know something interesting about the giant robot. Well Toei is the same company that made the Japanese version of Power Rangers called Super Sentai. Power Rangers is made up of clips from Super Sentai and some newly made footage in America. Super Sentai is a few decades older than it's American counterpart and it was Spider-Man that inspired Toei to have a giant robot in all their shows to defeat the giant monsters. So yes, the reason Power Rangers have a Megazord is because of Peter Parker.

I'm going to make you watch Spider-Man 3...Your will cry when you see Venom...For a few minutes.

When you see Peter Parker...As an dancing emo.

OMG!! It's Venom!!! Can't wait to see the Spider-Man 3!!! *fanboys after viewing the trailer*

Note#1- Venom is a popular Spider-Man villain. The story is that Spidey got a mysterious black suit that makes him more stronger. However it made him more aggressive. He learn that the suit is an alien symbiote. He forced the symbiote off himself and soon bonded with Eddie Brock(who hates Peter Parker). Together, the suit and Brock became the villain known as Venom.

However, Eddie Brock's story was rushed quickly in the movie and you see Venom in the last few minutes. I guess it's somewhat better than the Rhino's non-fight from Amazing Spider-Man 2 but still.

Everyone was happy seeing black suit Spidey in the posters because it means Venom will show up soon. Sadly, I remember there was more black suit Spider-Man toys, cupcakes, costumes than Venom.

The problem is the movie was also dealing with too many different villains within one movie with Sandman and Harry Osborn/Green Goblin. Also, Sam Raimi(the director) hated Venom but the studio forced him to put Venom in the movie. Shows why very little Venom was seen.

Note#2- When the suit got attached to Peter, he became a jerk, well more like a buffoon trying to pretend to be a cool jerk. He goes out to the streets and dances like an idiot. 

He literally change his hairstyle to emo-style once the black suit bonds to him.

Here's the trailer if anyone wants to see

I'm going to make you watch...The Amazing Spider-man....You will Cry...When you see....A blond Mary Jane.

How did you get her hair color wrong?

Note- I actually seen some people IRL who complain about Mary Jane is a blond in this movie. Here's the thing, Mary Jane Watson and Gwen Stacy are two different people. Peter Parker was with Gwen long before he ended up with Mary Jane in the comics. Some people are only familiar with the 1st movie trilogy and only know that Mary Jane as his main love interest. Dudes, look up facts before you bash the film. Gwen did had a small role in Spider-Man 3 as Peter's lab partner who Mary Jane was jealous of.

Here's the trailer

You will cry..When you see The Rhino...At the very last minute.

You cry..That they tease you with Doctor Octopus and The Vulture.

Just when you see hundreds of storylines squeezed in one movie, the deleted scenes have hundred more unnecessary storylines.

And the credits roll

Note#1- Everywhere you look, the trailers, posters, ads, toys, or whatever. Everyone knew that the movie had Spidey having a battle against a giant mechanical Rhino. At the end of the movie, Spidey has this major battle with Electro and Green Goblin and major stuff happens. The movie is already over and then, Peter Parker hears about the Rhino rampaging in the city. Spider-Man goes out to fight against him and....The credits starts rolling. Like WTF...Everyone wanted to see that.

The Amazing Spider-Man was trying to be like Marvel Studios and make this big universe and setting up a Sinister Six movie with six of Spidey's foes teaming up. Sad news is we won't getting sequels due to Sony making a deal with Marvel Studios, meaning we're not going to see the conclusion of this fight.

Note#2- Something I joke about to my friends when you briefly see Doc Oak's tentacles or Vulture's wings.

Note#3- The movie was really pushing on setting up a cinematic universe. The deleted scenes were going to have Peter's dad all alive and introducing Mary Jane to set up as the next love interest. Good thing they were deleted because there is way much stuff in this movie. There were plans on bringing Gwen back from the dead as Spider-Gwen and set up a Aunt May movie. No really.

Here's the trailer with the very final scene in it.

1.I'm going to make you watch Spider-Man Homecoming. You will cry...When you see the actress Zendaya playing as Mary Jane Watson...Or Not...Or Maybe...Umm something.

2. That Flash Thompson, the big jock bully....is a nerd.

We went from a guy that beat you and take your lunch money...

To this guy. I could easily whoop this boy with my eyes closed

3. That the elderly Aunt May is young and attractive

Well the supposed 2022 reboot hasn't happen yet but it may go this down this route if it continues.

4. That you were disappointed on the post credits.

Patience

Note#1- Spidey's one true love is the beautiful blond Gwen Stacy... Err I mean the lovely redhead Mary Jane Watson.(It varies in different versions, Gwen's usually the girl that passes away)

A year before the movie came out, it was rumored Zendaya was going to be MJ and people complain. Mostly due to a fair skin redhead is played now played by a biracial girl. Heck, the entire cast been re-imagined with diversity like Ned, Flash, and Liz. However this isn't the first time happen to them. Ultimate Spider-Man(a comic that retells the story in the 2000s) and the show, Spectacular Spider-Man did this to Peter's classmates.

A later interview showed Zendaya said she's playing Michelle, not Mary Jane. Also she said her character is anti-social which clashes with MJ's fun-going personality. Then at the end of the movie, she told her classmates to call her MJ. Then the internet exploded again since she's MJ again...or not. People behind the scenes said she isn't Mary Jane but she might have a role similar. Some don't like her due to her openly mocking her classmates. She gotten better and seem a little closer to her source material in the sequel movie.

Note#2- Flash Thompson was your usually jock bully. He does stop being a bully later on in his life. In the new Spider-Man movie, he is a bully, but he more like a rich upper class man whose the top of his class type of bully. The team behind the movie wanted to update the character with today's times, since bullies do come from different groups in school. But honesty, does this guy like someone who will enlist in the army like the other versions. He gotten better and seem a little closer to his source material in the sequel movie.

Note#3- Aunt May did appear in a smaller role in Captain America: Civil War in the previous year and viewers were surprised she's even far more younger than any previous actresses. The Tobey Maguire version of Aunt May was the closest of the original comics. They made her younger because the people who made this wonder if she is the wife of the brother of Peter's father, shouldn't she be closer to Peter's parents' age.

People do joke about Peter getting younger but remember, he did started out as 15-year in the original comics.

Note#4-Imagine you were at the theater and waited through the credits to see a teaser of the next Marvel movie, only to see Captain American on a white background, teaching you about patience. Saying waiting and having patience leads to victory, other times it's not worth it, you wonder why wait so long for something so disappointing.

Basically Marvel is trolling the audience. They know their viewers are sitting through the long credits.

Here's the trailer if you want to see

You will cry hen you see...

Mr. Stark, I don't feel good.

Note- The cliffhanger ending shocked alot people and caused people to go in tears.

Here's the trailer

You will cry...That Spider-Man doesn't exist in the same world as Venom. What!? You can't have Venom without Spider-Man, how's that possible? I mean He's basically a evil counterpart of Spidey.

That be like Nemesis Prime without Optimus Prime. Vanitas without Ven. Liquid without Solid Snake. Reverse Flash without Flash. Mileena without Kitana. MechaGodzilla without Godzilla. Dark Link without Link. SA-X without Samus.

*Post-credits spoilers ahead*

That you don't see Carnage until the very last minute.

What!? 1st we don't have Spidey and now we don't see the 2nd famous symbiote in Marvel but we get some lesser known onc called Riot.

Note#1- Venom did had the memories and abilities of Spider-Man. He looked like a beefed up version of black suit Spider-Man, sort of making him a copy of the hero.

Later on in the comics after battling Spidey, Venom ended up become more like an anti-hero in the 90s. The movie skipped his connection to Spidey and go straight to Lethal Protector and Planets of Symbiotes stories.

It is a stand alone that simply wanted to focus on the popular character and didn't want to connect to Tom Holland's Spider-Man in this divorced installment. However with the new deal between Marvel and Sony, this may or may not loosely connect to the MCU in the near future. The upcoming Morbius film is suppose to connect to the Venom movie and Micheal Keaton makes a cameo and an Easter egg from the ending of Spider-Man: Far from Home is seen in the trailers of that movie.

Note#2- Carnage is a spawn of Venom that bonded to a serial character. He is far more evil that both Spidey and Venom have to face. Seems they are setting him up for the sequel.

Here's the trailer if you want to see

1. You will cry...When you see Spider-Man...Played by Nicholas Cage.

2a. When you see Spider-Man, a fair-skin male...Played by a blond girl/Played by a Japanese girl. Oh great, it's bad enough to see an overweight loudmouth blond male in the 2014 Ninja Turtles film is played by Whoopi Goldburg somehow and now they changing Spider-Man. Also guess what, they also made Doctor Octopus into a woman.

2b. When you see Spider-Man...Played by a black guy.

2c. When you see Spider-Man...As a pig.

3. That Spider-Man dies early in the movie. What!? You can't kill off it's title character like that.

4.

• That you don't see the rocking mohawk wearing Spider-Punk.
• The man from the infamous Clone Saga, Scarlet Spider.
• Japanese Spider-Man who can summon giant mechas into battle to fight kaijus.
• Ghost Spider, the hybrid of Ghost Rider and Spider-Man
• Peter Parquagh from the Colonial era.
• May Parker, the daughter of an alternate Peter and MJ.
• Tobey Maguire/Andrew Garfield/PS4 Game/Spider-Man and his Amazing Friends/90s cartoon/Spectacular Cartoon/Ultimate Cartoon.

*Post Credits spoilers*

5. That you only see Spider-Man 2099 and 60s cartoon Spider-Man at the very last minute.

Note#1- Nichloas Cage is the last person you expected to play Spider-Man. He is suppose to be a teen/college kid, and Nicholas Cage far older. However he plays Spider-Man Noir who wasn't your typical Peter Parker. He was from alternate universe with a dark and gritty 1930s crime drama theme. I mainly said this to people just to hear their reactions, not knowing it's animated or he's playing a different Spider-Man all together.

Note#2- Casting a famous character as a different race or gender has been controversial choice. Some hate it, some don't mind it. I only say that Spider-Man is now a(black guy/woman/pig) only to see people's reactions. This is partly true in the movie. The thing is this movie is a multiversal crossover event that's based on a comic miniseries from 2014. Miles Morales is a guy in his universe who picks up the mantle after Peter Parker is killed. Gwen from her universe got bit by the radioactive spider instead of Parker and he died in her arms instead of her. Then you got all these other universes. 

And we also see Spider-Man's iconic nemesis as a woman. There was a twist midway in the movie that reveal this woman was this universe's version of Doc Ock. This is a different universe where they can play the rules differently without messing with the "main" universe.

Note#3- Peter Parker does dies early in the movie. The actual main character is really Miles Morales.

In the 2000s, there is series called Ultimate Spider-Man that retells the story of Spider-Man in another universe. At one point, they killed off Peter Parker and I don't mean he "died" and come back later, I mean he died for real. The series continued when Miles ended up getting bit from a radioactive spider and took the mantle. Meanwhile, the original Spider-Man from the original Marvel comics is still alive to this day.

The Peter that died early in the movie is based on the one who died while Peter we throughout most of the movie is more based on Earth 616/mainstream/the original guy himself who landed in Miles' world.

Note#4- Not every single version of Spider-Man couldn't make it. Marvel does like to make What If stories and look at alternate universes. Marvel did a storyline in 2014 called Spider-Verse that featured dozen versions of Spider-Man working together. The movie itself was loosely based on that.

Note#5- Spider-Man 2099 is a man named Miguel O'Hara from a futuristic world who is fuzed with spider DNA. He is one of the popular alternate incarnations of Spidey. He landed in the world of the 67 cartoon. The same cartoon that spawn hundreds of memes and has the famous catchy theme. Sadly, they only appeared in the post credits.

Here's the trailer

*Spoiler Warning for the whole thing, skip if you want*

1. You Will Cry... That there is no connection to the rest of the Marvel Multiverse.

If one can dream.

Man, I was hoping to see the Earth 616 Spider-man, or Tobey, Andrew, Miles, Miguel, or any other version.

2. You Will Cry...That this cliffhanger will go unresolved due to Sony not wanting Marvel Studios to make more Spider-Man movies. 

Well maybe Sony will continue onward but it be subpar and not as good as the others. If not, they bring back Andrew Garfield and have 50 storylines shoved in one movie.

3. With the whole world knowing who Spider-Man is, the next story is an adaptation of the infamous story, One More Day. In order to restore his secret identity and save his love ones, he has to sell his relationship with MJ that he had for one whole day to the devil and...ok this sounds more stupid than what happens in the comics. There's a world of difference between dating for a day compared to years of marriage.

4. You cry...That they tease you that Sandman, Hydro-man, Cyclone, and Molten Man are in the movie but it's not them.

Note#1- All the trailers showed Nick Fury telling Peter that Mysterio is from another universe. There is an established Marvel Multiverse with in the comics and shows. The MCU never did discover dimensional travel and explore the other universes.

Spider-Man: Far from Home is meant to be the end of Phase 3 where it was the aftermath of Avengers: Infinity War and Endgame. With the future of the MCU with Phase 4 and others are up to air, nobody knows what the future will bring as of yet. Them exploring the multiverse would make the MCU look like it's taking the next step in a big way.

However, the truth is that Mysterio was making a cover story to dupe Spidey and Fury, so there is no exploring the Multiverse. Maybe in the upcoming Doctor Strange movie that we have a few years.

Note#2- Sony who had the film rights to Spider-Man agreed to work with Marvel Studios to make Spider-man movies. Shortly after Far From Home was released, Sony wanted to make Spider-Man on their own with no Marvel. Either this was the end especially with the cliffhanger ending, or they would continue on their own with no references or connections to the other Marvel characters or events.

Thankfully, Sony and Marvel made a deal and we be getting a 3rd Tom Holland film in the future.

Note#3- The post credits showed Spider-Man's secret identity going public. I joked the next story is going to be based on the infamous storyline from the mid-2000s, One More Day.

In the comic  events of Civil War(which the MCU movie is loosely based on), Spider-Man unmasked himself to the world. Problem is, his enemies now know who he is and planned to attack his love ones. Aunt May was shot and showing no signs of recovery. 

The Marvel version of the devil called Mephisto appeared and offer Peter that he will save Aunt May and restore his secret identity if he gives up his marriage to MJ. They agreed and his years of marriage was magically erased from existence. Peter and MJ remember but not the whole world around them.

Everyone hated this direction. Marvel's higher ups thought Spidey be better off being a single man. Our hero making a deal with the devil? Also they were unaware MJ was preggers, who was magically aborted. It took 10 long years to finally get them back together. Hopefully the MCU won't follow this story.

Note#4- Mysterio's Elementals were loosely based on members of Spidey's rogues gallery.

Here's the trailer