You Will Cry!!! With Spider-Man

I'm going to make you watch the theatrical Spider-Man movies from the 1970s...That your bored to sleep.

Note-There was an American live-action show in the late 70s. It didn't held up well. There are several episodes put together as "movies" and they were played international theaters. The only other characters from the source material is mostly some of the staff from the Daily Bugle and no one else. Alot people say that either Spider-Man 3 or Amazing Spider-Man 2 are the worst movies ever when there is actually far worse ones out there.

Here's the trailer if you want to see

I'm going to make you watch Japanese Spider-Man. You will cry...You will cry...When you see Spider-Man...Summoning a giant robot into battle...Wait, WTF?

When you see Spider-Man...Gunning down the bad guys with an automatic gun. Wait, I thought most superheroes have this "do not kill" rule?

WTF...How in the world does Peter Parker have a giant robot. Where does he park it? Does the Daily Bugle pay him that well to have a giant robot? Does the Sinister Six stand a chance against this thing?

Here's the opening

Here's the trailer to the show

Note- In the late 70s, Marvel made a deal with Toei and created this bizarre show. The only connection I see to the popular Marvel character is the suit and he shoots web. The show is funny to laugh at.

You want to know something interesting about the giant robot. Well Toei is the same company that made the Japanese version of Power Rangers called Super Sentai. Power Rangers is made up of clips from Super Sentai and some newly made footage in America. Super Sentai is a few decades older than it's American counterpart and it was Spider-Man that inspired Toei to have a giant robot in all their shows to defeat the giant monsters. So yes, the reason Power Rangers have a Megazord is because of Peter Parker.

I'm going to make you watch Spider-Man 3...Your will cry when you see Venom...For a few minutes.

When you see Peter Parker...As an dancing emo.

OMG!! It's Venom!!! Can't wait to see the Spider-Man 3!!! *fanboys after viewing the trailer*

Note#1- Venom is a popular Spider-Man villain. The story is that Spidey got a mysterious black suit that makes him more stronger. However it made him more aggressive. He learn that the suit is an alien symbiote. He forced the symbiote off himself and soon bonded with Eddie Brock(who hates Peter Parker). Together, the suit and Brock became the villain known as Venom.

However, Eddie Brock's story was rushed quickly in the movie and you see Venom in the last few minutes. I guess it's somewhat better than the Rhino's non-fight from Amazing Spider-Man 2 but still.

Everyone was happy seeing black suit Spidey in the posters because it means Venom will show up soon. Sadly, I remember there was more black suit Spider-Man toys, cupcakes, costumes than Venom.

The problem is the movie was also dealing with too many different villains within one movie with Sandman and Harry Osborn/Green Goblin. Also, Sam Raimi(the director) hated Venom but the studio forced him to put Venom in the movie. Shows why very little Venom was seen.

Note#2- When the suit got attached to Peter, he became a jerk, well more like a buffoon trying to pretend to be a cool jerk. He goes out to the streets and dances like an idiot. 

He literally change his hairstyle to emo-style once the black suit bonds to him.

Here's the trailer if anyone wants to see

I'm going to make you watch...The Amazing Spider-man....You will Cry...When you see....A blond Mary Jane.

How did you get her hair color wrong?

Note- I actually seen some people IRL who complain about Mary Jane is a blond in this movie. Here's the thing, Mary Jane Watson and Gwen Stacy are two different people. Peter Parker was with Gwen long before he ended up with Mary Jane in the comics. Some people are only familiar with the 1st movie trilogy and only know that Mary Jane as his main love interest. Dudes, look up facts before you bash the film. Gwen did had a small role in Spider-Man 3 as Peter's lab partner who Mary Jane was jealous of.

Here's the trailer

You will cry..When you see The Rhino...At the very last minute.

You cry..That they tease you with Doctor Octopus and The Vulture.

Just when you see hundreds of storylines squeezed in one movie, the deleted scenes have hundred more unnecessary storylines.

And the credits roll

Note#1- Everywhere you look, the trailers, posters, ads, toys, or whatever. Everyone knew that the movie had Spidey having a battle against a giant mechanical Rhino. At the end of the movie, Spidey has this major battle with Electro and Green Goblin and major stuff happens. The movie is already over and then, Peter Parker hears about the Rhino rampaging in the city. Spider-Man goes out to fight against him and....The credits starts rolling. Like WTF...Everyone wanted to see that.

The Amazing Spider-Man was trying to be like Marvel Studios and make this big universe and setting up a Sinister Six movie with six of Spidey's foes teaming up. Sad news is we won't getting sequels due to Sony making a deal with Marvel Studios, meaning we're not going to see the conclusion of this fight.

Note#2- Something I joke about to my friends when you briefly see Doc Oak's tentacles or Vulture's wings.

Note#3- The movie was really pushing on setting up a cinematic universe. The deleted scenes were going to have Peter's dad all alive and introducing Mary Jane to set up as the next love interest. Good thing they were deleted because there is way much stuff in this movie. There were plans on bringing Gwen back from the dead as Spider-Gwen and set up a Aunt May movie. No really.

Here's the trailer with the very final scene in it.

1.I'm going to make you watch Spider-Man Homecoming. You will cry...When you see the actress Zendaya playing as Mary Jane Watson...Or Not...Or Maybe...Umm something.

2. That Flash Thompson, the big jock bully....is a nerd.

We went from a guy that beat you and take your lunch money...

To this guy. I could easily whoop this boy with my eyes closed

3. That the elderly Aunt May is young and attractive

Well the supposed 2022 reboot hasn't happen yet but it may go this down this route if it continues.

4. That you were disappointed on the post credits.

Patience

Note#1- Spidey's one true love is the beautiful blond Gwen Stacy... Err I mean the lovely redhead Mary Jane Watson.(It varies in different versions, Gwen's usually the girl that passes away)

A year before the movie came out, it was rumored Zendaya was going to be MJ and people complain. Mostly due to a fair skin redhead is played now played by a biracial girl. Heck, the entire cast been re-imagined with diversity like Ned, Flash, and Liz. However this isn't the first time happen to them. Ultimate Spider-Man(a comic that retells the story in the 2000s) and the show, Spectacular Spider-Man did this to Peter's classmates.

A later interview showed Zendaya said she's playing Michelle, not Mary Jane. Also she said her character is anti-social which clashes with MJ's fun-going personality. Then at the end of the movie, she told her classmates to call her MJ. Then the internet exploded again since she's MJ again...or not. People behind the scenes said she isn't Mary Jane but she might have a role similar. Some don't like her due to her openly mocking her classmates. She gotten better and seem a little closer to her source material in the sequel movie.

Note#2- Flash Thompson was your usually jock bully. He does stop being a bully later on in his life. In the new Spider-Man movie, he is a bully, but he more like a rich upper class man whose the top of his class type of bully. The team behind the movie wanted to update the character with today's times, since bullies do come from different groups in school. But honesty, does this guy like someone who will enlist in the army like the other versions. He gotten better and seem a little closer to his source material in the sequel movie.

Note#3- Aunt May did appear in a smaller role in Captain America: Civil War in the previous year and viewers were surprised she's even far more younger than any previous actresses. The Tobey Maguire version of Aunt May was the closest of the original comics. They made her younger because the people who made this wonder if she is the wife of the brother of Peter's father, shouldn't she be closer to Peter's parents' age.

People do joke about Peter getting younger but remember, he did started out as 15-year in the original comics.

Note#4-Imagine you were at the theater and waited through the credits to see a teaser of the next Marvel movie, only to see Captain American on a white background, teaching you about patience. Saying waiting and having patience leads to victory, other times it's not worth it, you wonder why wait so long for something so disappointing.

Basically Marvel is trolling the audience. They know their viewers are sitting through the long credits.

Here's the trailer if you want to see

You will cry hen you see...

Mr. Stark, I don't feel good.

Note- The cliffhanger ending shocked alot people and caused people to go in tears.

Here's the trailer

You will cry...That Spider-Man doesn't exist in the same world as Venom. What!? You can't have Venom without Spider-Man, how's that possible? I mean He's basically a evil counterpart of Spidey.

That be like Nemesis Prime without Optimus Prime. Vanitas without Ven. Liquid without Solid Snake. Reverse Flash without Flash. Mileena without Kitana. MechaGodzilla without Godzilla. Dark Link without Link. SA-X without Samus.

*Post-credits spoilers ahead*

That you don't see Carnage until the very last minute.

What!? 1st we don't have Spidey and now we don't see the 2nd famous symbiote in Marvel but we get some lesser known onc called Riot.

Note#1- Venom did had the memories and abilities of Spider-Man. He looked like a beefed up version of black suit Spider-Man, sort of making him a copy of the hero.

Later on in the comics after battling Spidey, Venom ended up become more like an anti-hero in the 90s. The movie skipped his connection to Spidey and go straight to Lethal Protector and Planets of Symbiotes stories.

It is a stand alone that simply wanted to focus on the popular character and didn't want to connect to Tom Holland's Spider-Man in this divorced installment. However with the new deal between Marvel and Sony, this may or may not loosely connect to the MCU in the near future. The upcoming Morbius film is suppose to connect to the Venom movie and Micheal Keaton makes a cameo and an Easter egg from the ending of Spider-Man: Far from Home is seen in the trailers of that movie.

Note#2- Carnage is a spawn of Venom that bonded to a serial character. He is far more evil that both Spidey and Venom have to face. Seems they are setting him up for the sequel.

Here's the trailer if you want to see

1. You will cry...When you see Spider-Man...Played by Nicholas Cage.

2a. When you see Spider-Man, a fair-skin male...Played by a blond girl/Played by a Japanese girl. Oh great, it's bad enough to see an overweight loudmouth blond male in the 2014 Ninja Turtles film is played by Whoopi Goldburg somehow and now they changing Spider-Man. Also guess what, they also made Doctor Octopus into a woman.

2b. When you see Spider-Man...Played by a black guy.

2c. When you see Spider-Man...As a pig.

3. That Spider-Man dies early in the movie. What!? You can't kill off it's title character like that.

4.

• That you don't see the rocking mohawk wearing Spider-Punk.
• The man from the infamous Clone Saga, Scarlet Spider.
• Japanese Spider-Man who can summon giant mechas into battle to fight kaijus.
• Ghost Spider, the hybrid of Ghost Rider and Spider-Man
• Peter Parquagh from the Colonial era.
• May Parker, the daughter of an alternate Peter and MJ.
• Tobey Maguire/Andrew Garfield/PS4 Game/Spider-Man and his Amazing Friends/90s cartoon/Spectacular Cartoon/Ultimate Cartoon.

*Post Credits spoilers*

5. That you only see Spider-Man 2099 and 60s cartoon Spider-Man at the very last minute.

Note#1- Nichloas Cage is the last person you expected to play Spider-Man. He is suppose to be a teen/college kid, and Nicholas Cage far older. However he plays Spider-Man Noir who wasn't your typical Peter Parker. He was from alternate universe with a dark and gritty 1930s crime drama theme. I mainly said this to people just to hear their reactions, not knowing it's animated or he's playing a different Spider-Man all together.

Note#2- Casting a famous character as a different race or gender has been controversial choice. Some hate it, some don't mind it. I only say that Spider-Man is now a(black guy/woman/pig) only to see people's reactions. This is partly true in the movie. The thing is this movie is a multiversal crossover event that's based on a comic miniseries from 2014. Miles Morales is a guy in his universe who picks up the mantle after Peter Parker is killed. Gwen from her universe got bit by the radioactive spider instead of Parker and he died in her arms instead of her. Then you got all these other universes. 

And we also see Spider-Man's iconic nemesis as a woman. There was a twist midway in the movie that reveal this woman was this universe's version of Doc Ock. This is a different universe where they can play the rules differently without messing with the "main" universe.

Note#3- Peter Parker does dies early in the movie. The actual main character is really Miles Morales.

In the 2000s, there is series called Ultimate Spider-Man that retells the story of Spider-Man in another universe. At one point, they killed off Peter Parker and I don't mean he "died" and come back later, I mean he died for real. The series continued when Miles ended up getting bit from a radioactive spider and took the mantle. Meanwhile, the original Spider-Man from the original Marvel comics is still alive to this day.

The Peter that died early in the movie is based on the one who died while Peter we throughout most of the movie is more based on Earth 616/mainstream/the original guy himself who landed in Miles' world.

Note#4- Not every single version of Spider-Man couldn't make it. Marvel does like to make What If stories and look at alternate universes. Marvel did a storyline in 2014 called Spider-Verse that featured dozen versions of Spider-Man working together. The movie itself was loosely based on that.

Note#5- Spider-Man 2099 is a man named Miguel O'Hara from a futuristic world who is fuzed with spider DNA. He is one of the popular alternate incarnations of Spidey. He landed in the world of the 67 cartoon. The same cartoon that spawn hundreds of memes and has the famous catchy theme. Sadly, they only appeared in the post credits.

Here's the trailer

*Spoiler Warning for the whole thing, skip if you want*

1. You Will Cry... That there is no connection to the rest of the Marvel Multiverse.

If one can dream.

Man, I was hoping to see the Earth 616 Spider-man, or Tobey, Andrew, Miles, Miguel, or any other version.

2. You Will Cry...That this cliffhanger will go unresolved due to Sony not wanting Marvel Studios to make more Spider-Man movies. 

Well maybe Sony will continue onward but it be subpar and not as good as the others. If not, they bring back Andrew Garfield and have 50 storylines shoved in one movie.

3. With the whole world knowing who Spider-Man is, the next story is an adaptation of the infamous story, One More Day. In order to restore his secret identity and save his love ones, he has to sell his relationship with MJ that he had for one whole day to the devil and...ok this sounds more stupid than what happens in the comics. There's a world of difference between dating for a day compared to years of marriage.

4. You cry...That they tease you that Sandman, Hydro-man, Cyclone, and Molten Man are in the movie but it's not them.

Note#1- All the trailers showed Nick Fury telling Peter that Mysterio is from another universe. There is an established Marvel Multiverse with in the comics and shows. The MCU never did discover dimensional travel and explore the other universes.

Spider-Man: Far from Home is meant to be the end of Phase 3 where it was the aftermath of Avengers: Infinity War and Endgame. With the future of the MCU with Phase 4 and others are up to air, nobody knows what the future will bring as of yet. Them exploring the multiverse would make the MCU look like it's taking the next step in a big way.

However, the truth is that Mysterio was making a cover story to dupe Spidey and Fury, so there is no exploring the Multiverse. Maybe in the upcoming Doctor Strange movie that we have a few years.

Note#2- Sony who had the film rights to Spider-Man agreed to work with Marvel Studios to make Spider-man movies. Shortly after Far From Home was released, Sony wanted to make Spider-Man on their own with no Marvel. Either this was the end especially with the cliffhanger ending, or they would continue on their own with no references or connections to the other Marvel characters or events.

Thankfully, Sony and Marvel made a deal and we be getting a 3rd Tom Holland film in the future.

Note#3- The post credits showed Spider-Man's secret identity going public. I joked the next story is going to be based on the infamous storyline from the mid-2000s, One More Day.

In the comic  events of Civil War(which the MCU movie is loosely based on), Spider-Man unmasked himself to the world. Problem is, his enemies now know who he is and planned to attack his love ones. Aunt May was shot and showing no signs of recovery. 

The Marvel version of the devil called Mephisto appeared and offer Peter that he will save Aunt May and restore his secret identity if he gives up his marriage to MJ. They agreed and his years of marriage was magically erased from existence. Peter and MJ remember but not the whole world around them.

Everyone hated this direction. Marvel's higher ups thought Spidey be better off being a single man. Our hero making a deal with the devil? Also they were unaware MJ was preggers, who was magically aborted. It took 10 long years to finally get them back together. Hopefully the MCU won't follow this story.

Note#4- Mysterio's Elementals were loosely based on members of Spidey's rogues gallery.

Here's the trailer