Cabotians vs. The Lonokeon Empire Chapter 3

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The empire sent more units against us. One was a group of vikings. These raiders from thousand years ago were no match from the forces of Arkansas. The vikings sent their pet Triceratops at us. I watch Storyteller threw a pool noodle at dinosaur and killed it on the spot. Another unit was a group of dark mages. They attack with fireballs and lightning bolts. Even they weren't a match for  us. The empire sent a trio of cloned T-Rexes. We stab their legs and watch them fall.


We rested for a while at a campfire. One of our scouts we sent out has came back. He told us that one of the people we try to recruit when the threat of the Lonokeon invasion was 1st announce has betrayed us and told the emperor our location. He will send his army to surround from all sides. It fear that our next battle will our last day on Earth. We already lost ten of our men since the battle started. One man that's above the age of 40 was grieving for the lost of his son who was one of the ten people we lost. I notice Storyteller has lost his eye from an earlier battle. He told me that losing an eye isn't a big deal to him. I asked him to go back home, to tell others of our battle and what we fought for.

As Storyteller leaves the group. I looked to the weary men around the campfire. I said, "Tomorrow may be the last day, but all of you know that over thirty Arkansans gave their last breath to defend all of Arkansas!"


The next morning, we were surrounded by the enemy from all sides. All our allies were pulling up cardboard sheets to protect themselves. I asked our scout which one was the man who betray us. The scout pointed to one man. I looked to the traitor and asked, "Why did you betray us?"

The betrayer looked at us with hatred and said in an angered tone, "When I was a young kid, I was biggest Sonic fan there was. I had the bed sheets, the lunchbox, toys, everything. However, over the years, the games weren't as good as back then. They stop making Sega consoles, Sonic 06 was the worst game ever, and the only spin off, Shadow the Hedgehog wasn't a great game. All you Mario fans were getting better games and having successful spin-offs like Luigi's Mansion, Yoshi's Island, and Donkey Kong Country. I hate being a part of this world, but then I heard how things were in the other universe. So I wanted to be a part of the Lonokeon Empire's world."

I glared at the man and told him, "So your willing to betray all of Arkansas for some video games? You really are a terrible man."

"ENOUGH!"

We all turn to who said that and saw the Emperor standing on top of his carriage. He was looking angry, "I'm tired of these games. You either surrender now or perish." I smiled and replied, "Well here's my answer." I quickly grab a pool noodle off the ground and threw it towards the emperor. My weapon hit the side of his cheek, causing him to bleed. He touch the blood from his cheek and shouted, "KILL THEM ALL!" The enemy troops came charging in. We fought and held our ground against high numbers.

The emperor pulled out a walkie talkie and press a button. He shouted to it, "FIRE ALL THE EXPLOSIVE DARTS!"

Our battle against the enemy stop attacking and retreated. We wonder what happen and we heard a loud noise from a distance. We recognize the sound from the last dart attack and saw hundreds of darts coming. We quickly pulled up our cardboard sheets as protection. Once all the darts landed on our sheets of cardboard, the darts themselves exploded. The huge blast from their attack threw us into the air and crash into the ground.

It seems I lost conscience of a few seconds. The next thing I know is me and all of our army is laying on the ground. I look up to the sky and I see the Emperor above me with his gold-painted foam ax. He raise it in the air and plan to swing it down to kill me.

It seems we won't survive. Hopefully, people will hear our tale how we stood against the Lonokeon Empire. Maybe all of Arkansas will get together and fight the empire and send them back to their universe. As his ax comes closer and closer to me, I close my eyes and I died.






No, I can't let him win today. If I have the chance to defeat him and stop him from expanding his empire. I will not stop.

I open my eyes and grab his wrist where he is holding his ax. I got up by headbutted him. This knock him back a little and made some of his weapons fell to the ground. I grab one of his weapons, which was a gold-painted foam sword. Many of the Empire troops try to help their emperor but he held his hand up.

"No, this man is mine to kill." Soon after, several other Cabotians and Jacksonvillians who were knock unconscious were getting up and I heard one of them said, "Yeah, there's still us you guys have to fight." The Imperial army went back to fighting against our universe's army.

Me and Evil Lonokeon Emperor clash weapons. During the fight, I asked, "Why aren't your dart guns affected by the energy net?" The Emperor replied, "Because our dart guns are made of a special alloy that's only found in our universe will shield them from the energy net." Hearing his answer, I said, "Then you guys are a bunch of cheats."

We continue clashing weapons till my weapon was knock out of my hand. With me being disadvantage by having no weapon. I did a roundhouse and kick the ax out of his hands.

This angered the evil man even more. He grab me by the neck and threw me into his carriage. I was slammed into it's side. I struggle to get up from feeling pain from the throw. I looked inside Evil Lonokeon Emperor's vehicle and notice some sort of machine was inside.

I turned to the emperor he already has his weapon in his hand again. He threw a couple of swings at me but I manage to dodge all of them. I grabbed his arm and broke his arm, causing him to drop his weapon. I grabbed before it the ground and took a mighty swing at the evil man. It knock him back into his carriage and hitting the weird machine inside.

I believe the machine itself was the generator for the energy net. To test my theory, I pulled our a dodgeball and threw it at one of the Imperial warriors, killing him. I shouted, "THE ENERGY NET IS DOWN, VICTORY IS OURS!"

I heard in a weaken voice, "No...Not...While I'm still alive."

I turn to the carriage and saw Evil Lonokean Empire standing with a big cut on his chest. The cut itself was bleeding nonstop. I figure it be best to finish it as I grab a explosive dodgeball and threw into the emperor. He was knock back into the carriage and then, the entire vehicle explode into flames.

I heard, "OUR EMPEROR IS GONE! RETREAT!" I looked as a giant portal appeared. It must lead to their universe. All the imperials troops flee like sissies into the portal. Soon, they were all gone and the portal closed.

We won. The Lonokeon Empire failed to stop us. Arkansas was saved from their tyranny. I pulled up my cell phone and text Storyteller our victory so he won't worry about telling our stories. We lifted our foam swords into the air to celebrated our victory.

THE END

Cabotians vs. The Lonokeon Empire Chapter 2

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Later that day, we saw a ship on a pond of full of Lonokeon soldiers not far from we were standing. Metal Guy looked to the air "I can see a storm is brewing." We waited for a few minutes and it started rain like crazy. The storm cause the imperial ship to sink to the bottom of the pond. All us Cabotians celebrated in the heavy rain as we watch the ship fall. I had to get my umbrella out to prevent me getting wet while celebrating.


A hour later, an Lonokeon emissary with few soldiers was marching north when they encounter a large wall made out of LEGOS blocking their passage. Me and the others step out to confront the emissary. The evil man got angry and pull out his whip to attack. Metal Guy quickly reacted and uses his Telekinesis powers to squeeze the metal bracelet on the emissary's wrist, causing him enough pain to drop his weapon. Metal guy went up to the man and aimed his foam sword to emissary's neck.

Metal Guy said, "Leave this place and tell your emperor that we're free man, not slaves."

The emissary laugh and told us, "No, not slaves. You will all be dead and your city of Cabot will burn to the ground. Any survivors after Cabot's destruction will be our slaves. Over a hundred cities of the Lonokean Empire stand before you. Our darts will blot out the sun." The Cabotian said back to the man, "Then we hide fight under the shade." We watch as the emissary got back up. He and his cronies flee like wimps.


We settle down and took a lunch break. After relaxing for a few minutes, our scout that we sent out earlier has return. He took a few seconds to catch his breath and said to us, "Guys, I saw a huge unit of soldiers heading here. They be here in a few minutes." We quickly put away our lunches and prepare for battle.


I looked forward to the marching enemy and said to the troops. "THIS IS WHERE WE HOLD THEM! THIS IS WHERE WE FIGHT! THIS IS WHERE THEY DIE!" One guy in the background shouted, "EARN THESE CARDBOARD!"

As they march closer and closer, we pulled up sheets of cardboard to protect us from their attacks, creating a huge wall of cardboard. Every now and then, we create an opening, just to stab them with our pool noodles.

After more than half the unit was killed from our block and stab tactic, we broke formation and attack them. For the next minute, things seems to go slowly for some reason as I stab any Lonokeon that came near. I saw one my enemies at a distance, charging towards me. I threw my pool noodle at him and pierced him into the ground. Needing a new weapon, I pulled out my foam sword and slice any who dares to attack me.

The remaining forces flee from us like weaklings. We charge after them and corner them to a mud puddle. We push those suckers into a mud puddle and watch as they slowly fall into nasty waters.

We raise our foam sword in the air for our first victory against the Lonokeon Empire. However, our victory was short lived. He heard a loud noise from the distance. We looked the direction of the noise and saw hundreds and hundreds of darts with suction cups fired into the air and heading down towards us.

I shouted to the troops to defend. We raise our sheets of cardboard to prevent us from getting hit from their darts. Once all the darts landed on our cardbored, we stood up. I raise my foam sword and quickly sliced off the darts off of my cardboard sheet. For some reason, slicing those darts felt like it took few seconds longer. Maybe the energy net the Lonokeons set up slows down time or something.


The next unit that attack was Centaurs. They march forward to kill us. We block their attacks and kill all those creatures with our pool noodles. With their Centaur unit gone, the enemy army retreated. As for me and the others, we sat back down and finish our lunch that those mean Lonokeons dare to interrupt.


An hour later after finishing eating, a group of ninjas head to where the Cabotians were last spotted. When they got there, they saw a huge wall made out of Legos. They looked at it with a puzzled look till they heard, "EVERYONE, PUSH!" The ninjas watch as the wall of Legos fall on them. Half of them were crushed.

We step out of the rubble we created and attack the ninjas. Our enemies attacked us by throwing paper ninja stars and slash us with their curved pencils. We block their attacks with our cardboard and kill any who comes near. The Jacksonvillians that we saw earlier today join the fight and help fight against the ninjas. The enemy were reduced to five now.

We chase after them and saw that they were with a tall mean dude wrapped in chains. I heard one of them said, "Now we released our genetically engineered super solider from New France." The cut his chains and release him. The giant grabbed the nearest foam ax and headed towards us.

He swing his weapon but I duck and slash him with my foam sword. However it seem he was unfazed from that attack. I jab my sword into his flesh but doing that caused my weapon to break in half. Trying to kill the guy with a foam sword is a dumb and stupid idea.

The monster gave off a loud roar and deliver a kick into my stomach, knocking me into the ground. I try to get up but the monster grab me by the neck. Before he could lift me off the ground, I grab a paper ninja star that was laying in the ground. When he lifted me to his eye level, I jabbed the star deep into his eye. The giant let go of me while he was howling in pain. I notice he dropped his foam ax. With the beast distracted, I grab his weapon and took a mighty swing into the monster's neck. It pierced into him, killing him. With the ninjas scared out of their pants. They run from us.


Later that day, a messenger came to us. He said, "Our emperor wishes to speak with you." I got up and followed the messenger. He took me to the emperor's location.


I arrived to his location and saw a carriage made out of gold and silver. I saw this man in fancy robes and gold jewelry all over his body. I said, "You must be Evil Lonokean Emperor?" He look at me and said, "Correct. I admit, I was surprised to have such a resistance against my army but your forces are outnumbered and it's best you rethink your attack."

I didn't want to rethink our attack. There was something puzzling me, so I asked, "Why are you guys want to invade our universe? Why not expand you empire in your own universe?" The emperor answered, "Because all the nations around us are watching. They know that we want to extend our empire and they will quickly attack. When our empire's top scientists found a way to cross dimensions, why not take control of the same lands from a different universe. They wound't know we're coming. After conquering your universe's land, we will have double the resources and power to go beyond the Ozarks, Dallas,or the Gulf in our world."

The man continued, "For the past decade, while trying to prep for invasion, we did some things to help destabilize your land. We gave funding to an terrorist organization who wanted to conquer your high school. Gave out special alloys from our world to an elf who wanted to build his robot spider army. We also gave out blueprints to some Neo-Red Coats on how to make super-soldiers."

I'm surprised that this man has connections to some of my old enemies. I needed to head back to the others. "I'm out here." I  began to walk away till I felt the Evil Emperor's hands slowly touch my shoulders in a very touchy way. I felt a sick feeling in my stomach and quickly got out of his grip. I turned towards him and said, "WHAT THE FUDGE MAN! WHAT ARE YOUR THINKING? I'M NOT THAT WAY!"

The Evil Lonokean Emperor looked confused and said, "I don't know what you are talking about. I was simply making an....." He came to a realization and said, "Oh.... I apologize. In our world, when people make offers to one to another, they grab one's shoulders from behind and whisper into one's ear. It doesn't mean anything sexual. I'm sorry that you weren't familiar with this custom and got confused. If you want me to persuade you with sexual desires, I could offer some girls from my harem."

My face turned red. I quickly waved my hands in front of me and said nervously, "Ah..No..You...You don't have to."

The emperor asked, "Anyways, you haven't gave me an answer. If you surrender and accept me as your ruler, I make you warlord of all of Central Arkansas. Everyone from Bebee to Conway will serve you" I listen to his demands for and thought about it for a second. I replied, "Forget it, people make fun of Clinton for being a pervert. People will find some way to make fun of me if I become some government leader of some sort."

This angered Evil Lonokeon Empire and said, "I will erased everyone's memories of you. I will have any writings of you remove from books and computers. Anyone who dare utter your name will have their tongues removed." I think on what he said, "Well I guess you have to rename Columbus."

I turn around and head back to my camp.

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Cabotians vs. The Lonokeon Empire Chapter 1

I wrote this story a few years ago that is a part of the same world as my Dodgeball stories. Yes, it's an obvious parody of a certain movie. Well I hope you guys enjoy.



I was sitting on the roof of Cabot's city hall, enjoying my day and eating seasoned fries I got from Arby's. I stopped eating when I saw this weird man who climbed up to the roof of the building. He brougth some stuff with him to the roof. It look like he was setting up a T.V. and a weird devise that looks similar to a DVD. I asked him, "Who are you and what type of devise is that? It looks kind of like a DVD." He looked to me and said, "I'm a messenger and I was told to show this to the first person I saw in the center of Cabot. This device is called BLD, which is short for Betamax Laser Disc."

I gave the man a weird look and asked, "You are aware that nobody nowdays uses Betamax or Laser Discs? Heck, the Betamax lost to VHS tapes back in the 80s so I don't understand how you got a newer version of these devises?" The messenger replied, "Well I come from a very different land where some stuff happen differently like the VHS lost to Betamax instead. Anyways, I need to show you the video."

I watch him insert the disc as I was scratching my head on how VHS lost of Betamax. The video on the T.V. pop up. On the screen was a man with in expensive robes, a golden crown, and alot of gold jewelry all over his body. He started to speak, "Hello citizen of Cabot. I am the Emperor of the Lonokeon Empire." I looked at the messenger and ask, "Since when Lonoke was..." Before I could finish, the weird man pointed towards the T.V. or I miss out what this "Emperor" saying.

"I come from an parallel universe where the Louisiana Purchase never happen. My ancestor fought against the French Empire and won it's independence. We established a new empire in this region that you Cabotians called Arkansas. Our empire is in-between New France, both the United States and the Confederate States, as well as the Republics of Texas and West Florida."

This Lonokeon Emperor continued, "We have studied some things about your universe like your history or your technology like how you don't have BLDs. Many things are different here like they make Mario games on the Sega Zii and that system's biggest competitor is the Phillips CD-I Three. In our world, James Cameron's Avatar bombed badly while The Last Airbender was a huge success. Anyways, I need to tell you what I want from your area is some earth and water." The video stop.

I listen to everything the man said on the video but what got me thinking were end where the emperor asked for earth and water. I looked up and saw the messenger grabbing all the stuff he set up on the roof and prepare to leave. He said, "I need to show this to other people." I quickly said, "HOLD IT!" I pulled out my foam sword and aim the tip to his neck. The messenger back up to the edge of the roof and looking scare. I said to the scared man, "Earth and water. That was a phase from two thousand years ago, it means this emperor wants us to surrender to him."

The expression on his face change from scared to kinda scared but with evil happy look. He said, "Your right you pitiful Cabotian! The Evil Lonokeon Emperor has opened a portal south of here between the cities of Cabot and Lonoke. He had gather an army and he is heading on his way to conquer Cabot and soon all of Jacksonville, as well as Beebe, Searcy, Maumelle, Conway and finally, Little Rock. You should know that it is best that you surrender before him."

I replied, "Then I formed an army to stand against the Lonokeon army and defeat the Evil Lonokeon Emperor." The messenger looked surprised and said, "Defeat our Emperor? You can't put a stop to his awesomeness. This is madness." I said back, "Madness? THIS IS CABOT!!!"

I kicked the man off the roof and watch him fell into the water fountain below. When he landed into the waters, I heard, "Oww, that hurts."


Later that day, I took the messenger to a secret underground area not far from Fred's. I took the man to an interrogation room and tied him up to a chair. Two of my allies came in to help. One is Storyteller, a man who works at a bookstore and he loves to tell stories. The other is Metal Guy, a guy who has limited telekinesis on metals.

Storyteller grab a bucket of water and threw into the messenger's face. The man woke up wide-eyed from the splash. I said, "Good, your up." Storyteller grab the light from the ceiling and aimed it toward's the Lonokeon's head. He sort of close his eyes from the bright light as Storyteller asked, "So how many soldiers are there?" The evil man replied, "About 800 of them, but you show fear, for they will crushed this city if Cabot doesn't surrender when they get here, heh heh heh!"

Hearing of this, Metal Guy lost his temper and pull out his Nerf gun aimed it towards the messenger's head. I try to stop him and shouted, "METAL GUY! NO!" It was too late because he already pulled the trigger....Except it didn't fire. Metal Guy was puzzled as he looked at his gun. "It's loaded with Nerf bullets, it should of fired."

"Heh heh heh!" We turn our heads and looked at the Lonokean. "Our empire knew there be some resistance so they set up an anti-Nerf gun energy field within 50 miles of where our portal is." Still mad at the messenger, Metal Guy storm out of the room. A few seconds later, he came back with a dodgeball in his hand and threw towards the Lonokean. To our surprise, when he threw the ball, it didn't fly across the room, but somehow float in the middle of the air. Storyteller look spooked and said, "What sorcery is this?" The messenger smiled evilly and said, "Our energy net also prevents dodgeballs being thrown at us."

He even got more mad, Metal Guy grab a foam sword and repeatedly stabbed the evil man through the chest. As messenger's lifeless body fell to the table, I looked at Metal Guy and smack the backside of his head. As he was rubbing his head in pain, I said to him, "I need him alive to get more answers and besides, your not suppose to kill the messenger." I gave a sigh while still glaring to Metal Guy.



We went out to to recruit people for an army to fight back against the Lonokeon Empire. With projectiles now useless, we have to use hand-to-hand combat tools. Storyteller ask me about getting the Heroes to join but I told him that most of them are either retired or working with New Captain elsewhere since the Baddies are now gone.

Worried that we may lose the battle, I called a psychic hotline to tell me the outcome of the coming battle but all they told me was nothing but crap, so I hung up.

Within the next hour, I visited the Princess of Cabot and asked her to help me gather an army. She said she will try her best and make some calls but she said that no one is going to believe that something like an army from an alternate universe is coming to invade.


Me and my allies did our best to recruit. The next day, we only manage to get 30 Cabotians to fight the Lonokeon Empire. Storyteller came to me, "Hey Chris, I don't know why our army is in civilian clothes? We should give them uniforms. I did do a sketch of one we can use while I was recruiting." He pulled out a notepad and showed me his drawing. After seeing it, I looked at him weirdly and asked, "Why do we need to be half-naked? It's late winter, we be dying from the cold before we reach the Lonokeans. We be a laughing stock to all the cities of Arkansas." The man looked a little sad that I decline his request.

After I was done with him, I gave my troops the order and we march south towards where the Evil Lonokeon Emperor's army is.


During our march, we encounter a group of Jacksonvillians. They told us they heard of the news of the coming army. Several other cities are also forming groups to oppose the Lonokeans like Bebeeians, and Searcyians. They head off to a different path to fight the army from another world while we continue southward.


After nearly half an hour of walking, we came across a burning farm. We notice a kid nearby looking at the farm. I asked him,  "What happen here?" The kid said that he was wondering around a few minutes from his home when he saw some mean-looking people that were called a scouting unit appeared. They told the kid to show this burning farm as a message to anyone heading south.

"HEY!! WHAT IN TARNATION HAPPEN TO MY FARM?"

We turn to who said that and saw an angry farmer. "I reckon y'all did this to my farm." He pulled out a Nerf shotgun and fired at us but nothing came out. The farmer looked puzzled about his gun, "What did you fellas did to my gun?" He threw his gun into the ground and stomped the ground several times. "That's it, I'm getting my pitchfork." Me and my troops quickly leave the area before he came back to attack us with his pitchfork.


The kid who witness the burning farm went back to his house as we continued our march.

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