Here's another story from my Dodgeball Universe. Yes, it's a parody of a certain movie. Enjoy!
"Before time began, there was the Rubik's Cube. We do not know where it came from, only it holds power and.."
"NOW WOULD YOU STOP RECAPPING WHAT THE MOTHERFUDGING CUBE IS!!!" The Director shouted to his Agent. Agent smiled awkwardly and shut the book he's reading while they walk down a hall.
The Director said, "Now twenty minutes ago, deep within our artifact vault, that frickin glow in the dark Rubik's Cube that's been around for centuries been glowing brighter than Las Vegas.
They arrived on the bottom floor to where the vault is. One of the scientists approached them and said, "Sir, whatever is happening with the Rubik's Cube is getting ready to activate a.."
He was cut off when the cube shoot out energy. It turned into bright blue tunnel. A figure stepped out of it and the portal quickly disappeared.
The figure they see was a raven-hair woman in long roles with an wicked smile
on her face.
Director and Agent pulled out their Nerf guns on her. Agent asked, "Who are you and what you want?
The mysterious woman told them, "I go by many names over the millenniums. If you want my original name, I am the Goddess of Discord, Eris."
Agent seem to recognize the name. "Eris, the woman who manipulate several Greek Goddesses that eventually led to the Trojan War?"
The woman replied, "Yes, the same. I remember those years. Ten long years fighting over one woman. That isn't the only war I help started. There were plenty, one of my favorites is that one time, I disguised myself as a mortal and shot some duke in his car. What happened to all of Europe caused quite an entertaining show for the next few decades." She let out a mean cackle.
This made the Director even more angry than he already is. "YOU DIDN'T FINISH HIS FRAKKIN ANSWER, WHAT DO YOU WANT!!!"
She smiled, "Seems like I touch a nerve did I. Well if you want to know, I want to start another war. There hasn't been much excitement in this area since the Civil War days. I have a army ready in another realm but I need to borrow a little something from you to open a portal.
She reaches for the cube but before she can touch it, a dart came between her and the cube. She turned to her attacker and saw a man armed with a crossbow dart gun aimed at her. "I wouldn't do that if I was you." he said.
She pulled out an apple made out of pure gold and waved it front of his eyes. He said to the object, "Ohh, shiny!" He then turned his weapon to the good guys. Director said, "Now what the fudge are you betraying us!?"
She waved her apple towards other directions in the room, soon other scientists and soldiers are joining her. "Look at the apple. I never seen anything so beautiful in my life."
Out of luck and outnumbered, Director threw a dodgeball at a stone pillar. The impact caused the support to break. He said, "I guess I'm burying y'all."
The brainwashed man known as Archer shoot a stun dart out of his crossbow and knock out his former superior. They hopped on nearby jeep and drive into underground tunnels.
Agent tries to get Director up to his feet. He dragged him into the elevator just before the ceiling collapsed.
A day has passed since Eris brainwashed several followers and stole the cube. With the huge loss on their hands. Director and Agent sent out to find a group of people to help them and called them, the Retaliators.
Everyone they collected was to meet up at Director's flying airship. The 1st person they got was a man is more than qualified. He has faced elves, terrorists, invading armies from other universes, and ancient gods. The guy they got was well..Me. Chris.
A few years ago, during one of my battles with my enemies. I discovered the Secret Agency. This is the place where Director and Agent works. This place been around since the founding of Cabot and been around to protect the city from major threats in secret.
However, despite their resources, they were largely unaware the entire city was nearly turned into elves, or that a giant winged demon attacked the high school. Plus they also didn't believe me when I told them about invading armies from alternate universes till after the invasion was prevented.
They gave me a folder to see who are my allies in this group to defeat Eris and take back the Rubik's Cube.
One guy is Copper Man. He was one of the richest people in Cabot. He lives somewhere on Highway 5. One time in his life, he was captured by a terrorist group called the Neo-Red Coats. They forced him to make weapons like dodgeballs and Nerf guns to help them on their cause to return the United States back to England. However, England itself is unaware of the group and isn't interested in taking back the USA. So they are wasting their time.
During his Coppper's time in imprisonment, he secretly build a suit of copper when they weren't looking. He used it to break free from his captors and now became a defender of the people.
The next guy in the group, most of the info from this man came from my intel from Captain's old diary while I working under the group known as the Heroes back in the day. From the intel, another man in the upcoming group is Captain Arkansas. Long back in 1900s, a terrorist group called the Baddies led by the Evil Elf King tried to conquer central Arkansas. The Heroes tried to fight back. One of their famous warriors is Captain Arkansas. Dressed in the symbols of the Arkansas flag, he is a man who fights for the ideals of Arkansas.
During his final battle with the Baddies. The Evil Elf King was going to use the Rubik's Cube in his conquest but the Captain grabbed the cube from his hands. This caused a burst of energy come flying out. The blast caused the elf's base of operations to be destroyed while Cap entered into a magical coma for nearly a century. The Secret Agency found him and the cube but unaware of the battle that took place. They kept him and the cube at their base. He only woke up last year when we jab a glowing tennisball string into him.
Another one is the Incredible Brute. He grew up eating greens for breakfast, lunch, and supper. The over-eating greens caused him to have a weird condition that his skin turned green and his muscles grow four times the size. He has went on a diet from greens to restore him to normal skin color and well as a normal build, but if he breaks out of habit, he's back to his weird condition.
Last one is Spy Lady. Long ago, there was a cold war between the Secret Agency of Cabot and the Secret Agency of Biloxi. Tho their main goal is to protect their own cities, they secretly fund and manipulate the collage football games of the Razorbacks and Ole Miss Rebels. Spy Lady was sent on a undercover mission to spy on us and report to her Agency, but she fell in love while in Arkansas and defected to our side.
Elsewhere, Eris asked on one of her mind-controlled scientists, "So how much longer till you get make the machine I need to open a giant portal for the invading army?" The scientist answered, "I need a certain type of whistle. You can find alot of them in this city." He pointed to a certain location on the map.
Back on the airship, I met with others and exchanged stories. Copper Man on the other hand was too busy talking to his cell about some business meeting. I watch Agent go all fanboy on Captain Arkansas on all the stories he heard about him.
We were taking a tour around the airship when suddenly, a siren was going off.
"NOW WHAT THE ZARKING BELGIUM IS GOING ON!?" shouted Director. One of his men on the bridge pointed to the footage on his screen. The head of the airship turned to the newly formed gang and said, "It seems that Eris has showed up and attacking the city of Stuttgart."
The Brute said, "She may be gone when we get there, considering how long this vehicle will take when we get to Europe."
"Oh for Karabast stake, not that Stuttgart, the other one. The one in Southeast Arkansas."
At the city of Stuttgart, Archer led a team of brainwashed soldiers into an outdoors shop. Soon they got inside, they held their dodgeballs up into the air, ready to throw them at any customers or employees. One of them said, "Oh my goodness, please don't kill me".
Archer told the others to send the hostages to the outside parking lot. Soon they were out of sight, he went down one of aisles and grabbed what he was looking for that will help Eris on making the machine she needed for opening the portal, a duck whistle.
Archer met up with the others and saw Eris is now with them. She said, "Good job on retrieving on what we needed. Go to back to the scientists, I stay here to have some fun." She waved the apple in his face and he replied, "Such a lovely apple. I do anything you say to gaze upon it's beauty."
He and the others drove away on vehicles while Eris turned to all the hostages, "You shall bow to your new Goddess or I will vanquish you all." Most kneel to her but one man stand up. "Your just some crazy coplayer."
This angered the Goddess and threw a dodgeball at him to kill.
Then out of nowhere, Captain Arkansas jumps in and block the attack with his sheet of cardboard painted in Arkansan flag. He looked around and said, "Last time I was here, this town was being introduce to rice farming, now the air itself smells like someone is cooking pasta."
She pulled out a pool noodle and jab it towards the patriot but he blocked her attack. They went to hand to hand combat but the evil goddess got the upper hand and threw him into the ground. She planned to kill with a dodgeball in her hand. Before she could, the ball was shot out of her hand. She looked upwards and saw Spy Lady in a dust cropper armed with auto-machine Nerf guns. I arrived down on ground level with my jetpack while Copper Man is suit up and landed not far from me.
Seeing she is outmatched, she held up her hands and asked for surrender. Most of the hostages from earlier think we were a bunch of LARPers who are playing their game a little too seriously and they went back to their normal lives.
We all boarded a plane that will take us to the airship with Eris imprisoned in chains. The airship is hovering over Conway and we be there in less than an hour.
We were almost done on our plane trip when we heard strange noises. We looked all around when we noticed that the door to the outside was opened.
I said to Eris, "Is this one of your tricks?" I notice her chains from free and it looked like something invisible grabbed her. Her body was taken out of the airplane.
We asked our pilot, Spy Lady to open the rear door. Cap jump out with a parachute. Copper Man use his suit, while I use my jetpack.
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