View Chapter 1
Everyone gather back into the room from there break to continue on to listening to Old Guy's story. When they got to the part where the WWII fighter pilots dropped off the gang, the storyteller decided to let his listeners take a break for ten minutes. Now back to the story.
The 21-initial group found horses near the airfield and used them to ride south. After half a day pass, they found a cabin by itself. They wonder if they should rest there and eat whatever food is there. Out of nowhere as it leap out of the woods was a man in bear costume. It chased down the long word gang. They hightail it and got inside the cabin and locked the doors.
They waited a few minutes for the costumed man to calm down. Magician and Young Guy looked out of the windows and see the man in costume is now chopping down wood. Our two travelers step out of the cabin and kindly introduce themselves. The man said he thought they were Neo-Red Coats at first and tried to attack him.
They all get inside the house as the man serves his guests some bowls of porridge. He told them that Neo-Red Coats are in league with the Evil Wolf Furries. He told them that there were dozens of Bear Furries in the Ozarks long ago but the Evil Wolf Furries killed and imprison many of them, just to watch them get tortured to death. He tells them that he is now the last Bear Furry in the Ozarks.
As they are done with their meal, they leave the cabin and prepare to get on their horses, the Bear Furry approach Magician. He said, "I heard rumors near the Missouri border that a Halloween freak was spotted there, maybe it's a sign this Warlock is slowly gathering the forces of evil." He went back to his cabin as the gang rode off.
They traveled south and Ozark National Forest is getting a little too thick to travel. They were in a hurry and needed to travel straight down south. They got off their horses and let them go. Magician spotted a random payphone sitting in the forest. He told the others he need to make a phone call. He reach in behind Young Guy's ear and grab two quarters that were not that there before.
The magic user press some buttons on the phone. On the other end is the voice of Earth Magician who said, "You Rrrrrang?" Magician answered back, "Yes, I reasonably heard a rumor that a Halloween Freak from the Missouri border got recruited by this Warlock." The man in dirty robes answered back, "Well I trying to follow up on clues of the Evil Warlock. We could meet up and investigate. Imagine all the loot and EXP we get for doing this?" The Magic user told his friend bye and hung up the phone.
He went to Young Guy and wish him luck, he told him he is going on a sidequest. He hopes will meet up with him again at Mount Magazine.
He was about to head off and realized something. "Oh right, we got rid of our horses. Good thing I have a backup ready." He took off his hat, reach in it, and pulled out a white horse out of his hat." He hopped on it and ride away.
Meanwhile in present day, Kind Boy grabbed his uncle's shoulder and said, "Wait a minute, I don't remember anything about this Earth Magician and Evil Warlock sidequest business in the book?" Old Guy told him, "Well you see, when I wrote the first version of that book, I didn't know what Magician was doing at the time. He told me way later on after I wrote the first version. Besides, it seems weird that our friend just randomly decide to leave like that with no explanation." Kind Boy said back, "Well alright then." He sat back in his seat and continue listening on his uncle's story.
The gang traveled inside the dense forest. They walk and walk and entire voyage felt like weeks to them. They could swore they been traveling in circles. They cursed under their breath and said they should of brought compasses.
They came across a ditch. Young Guy pointed out that there is a natural bridge of sorts made out of tree vines. One by one, they used the vines to cross. The last beardman who was very round got tired and fell asleep and fall in the ditch. The beardmen sighed and went into the mud to carry the sleeping man up.
Young Guy told the rest he's going to climb a tree and see which way is south. When he got to the top, he was surrounded by mosquitoes. He hurried and pulled out binoculars and saw the Arkansas River in the distance, meaning south is that direction.
When he got back to ground level, he saw his friends were battling a hive of spiders. The man from Hill Area pulled out his glow in the dark butter knife and stabbed several of them. After the very long name group killed every single arachnid, the traveler looked at his butter knife and said, "I shall call you Poke, for poking all those spiders".
Just then, they heard loud footsteps coming. Beardin told the others to hurry and hide. Young Guy quickly put on his ring while the others scatter and flee.
A group of Vulcan cosplayers led by Pretty Boy and Bowgirl come marching out and they aimed toy crossbows at the beardmen. They captured every single one of them expect for Young Guy.
They dragged them into a hidden city deep within the forest. They were brought to the city's mayor who is also Pretty Boy's dad. He was 5'1. Skinny to the bones, very very pale looking, was missing a few teeth, has a unibrow, got a huge mole on the side of his face.
Meanwhile in present day, everyone turn to Pretty Boy. One of them said, "Wait, you were there?" Another said, "Wait, how you come from an ugly man?". Someone else said, "You must of got your looks from your mother and only her." One mention, "Wait, you weren't in the original story."
Pretty Boy told them, "Umm...I was adopted."
Now back to the 80s.
The mayor known as Ugly Guy said, "Well darn tootin, what are you fellas doing trespassing my area for?" Beardin told back, "Why should I care? You left us to deal with the evil dragon that attack our mountain." The mayor said, "Oh yeah, that thang. Well my fellas are important to me and Ah don't want any of dem to, well you know, die. I reckon y'all are here to steal pearl necklaces from here as payback." With a flip of his hand, his fellow cosplayers grab the beardmen and they were sent into jail cells.
Within the next hour, the invisible Young Guy searched around to find the keys. As he getting ready to pass by the private theater room, he saw Ugly Guy coming out of the doors with 3D glasses on. He said as he was looking at the traveler, "Ah know your there." Young Guy was starting to freak out, wonder how he can see him. He turn his head behind him and saw Bowgirl standing there. He breathe a sigh of relief, seeing he was referring to her. The mayor said, "No really, Ah can see you, my 3D glasses can see anythang. So what are you doing here?" The traveler answered, "Umm..I was taking the quickest way to the Arkansas River and got loss on the way. Next thing I know is I'm here." The mayor took off his 3D glasses, spit a sunflower seed at his foot, and wrap his arm on the traveler's shoulders, "So your lost eh? Well welcome to our town. I finish watching 3D B-movie from the 50s. Anyways, Ah show you around the place. At least you ain't a trespasser like dem fellas Ah had an hour ago."
The next few minutes, he showed traveler several sites of town, including a port where they dump barrels of sparkling champagne down the Big Piney Creek for citizens of Knoxville. Seeing that gives Young Guy an idea.
At the end of the tour, they arrived at a door and the mayor knock on it. The door open and Pretty Boy came out. Ugly guy said, "This is muh boy here. One of the best archers in the land. I think he's into that redhead you saw earlier, eh." He jabbed his elbow into his son's stomach a few times as Pretty Boy's face turned red and said, "Dad please."
Ugly Guy left and came back with a big book. He spit a few sunflowers seeds near their shoes and opened it the book. Inside contains many photos. "Yep, this is me and fam. This one photo is little Pretty Boy in him diapers. Look at him, isn't he cute?" Pretty Boy rolled his eyes, and said quietly, "Dad please." He showed more photos, one had a group photo of a smiling kid, Ugly Guy, and a gorgeous blond woman. The young traveler began to wonder how in the world did somebody like her ended up with him. He like a negative 4 while she's way beyond the charts.
Ugly Guy showed emotion of happiness and sadness. "Sad thang muh wifey is gone. She's was babe all right. We dated in collage, got married, then nine months later, this boy popped out of her belly. He was biggest crybaby in all the Ozarks." Pretty Boy said quietly, "Dad please and why you keep mentioning about my birth. I have a hard time imaging I came from something so..so hideous and..."
Ugly Guy interrupted him, "Now that ain't no way to talk to your pa like that. You apologized right now." Pretty Boy said in anger, "Goodnight Dad". Like a typical teenager angry with his parent, he slams the door of bedroom and to prevent him from hearing him, he turns up the radio in his room and play it loudly. However instead of loud rock and roll music, it's actually loud classical music since rock and roll is way too out of character for Pretty Boy.
Unknown to the dysfunctional family, Young Guy slip from their grasp and went back to being invisible. He went through the prison and saw the jailer's keys hanging on the wall. He grabbed them and free his allies. He told them that he has an escape plan. They went down to the port and got inside empty barrels and used them to float down into the Big Piney Creek
Pretty Boy slowly approach Bowgirl from behind. As he had his hands behind his back and nervously rubbing the tip of his shoe on the ground, he said to her, "Hey, I was thinking you and I should go to my dad's private theater together and watch the Wrath of Khan and..." He stop when he notice she was staring longingly at a rock she was holding, he asked her what is that. She told him it was a gift from handsome prisoner with the 5 o'clock shadow. "It was a family runestone, a promise he made to come back to his folks. He has such care for his family. Oh, the next thing we talk about was the beautiful starlight and the moon. Oh!" If she was a cartoon character, there be heart symbols floating around her.
Pretty Boy quickly turned around and quickly walked away while mumbling and grumbling under his breath. He went ahead to check on the prison, only to notice no one is there. He came back to Bowgirl to tell her the news and they hurried outside.
At the river, the long name group was now getting attack by Neo-Red Coats. They threw their toy axes at them. Beardboy got hit in the leg by a dart. Luck is on their side when Pretty Boy and Bowgirl came and went totally OP on the enemy as they perform over the top action to slay them. However their former prisoners got away as they washed down the stream.
Meanwhile at the Missouri border, the two magic users arrived at a ruin. They see a note on a door and it said, Guys, we are meeting up at this underground cavern at Booger Hollow with this Warlock dude. P.S. Bring snacks and cola.
The long name gang washed ashore nearby Knoxville. They see a man at a motor boat. He pulled out a harp and sang, Hello Hello Hello, They call me Poet. Poet the bowman. I will asked, I will asked, what are you doing in barrels.
They told him they are on their way to Mount Magazine and they need some transportation. He sang, I will take you to my homeland in the lands known as Paris. The beardman with the star-shaped haircut asked, "You mean we are going all the way to France? No way, that's too far away." Whitebeard rolled his eyes and sign, "You idiot, he means Paris, Arkansas. How can you forget one of the mountain's neighboring cities?"
Poet sang to the gang he has trouble with the authorities, mostly due to complaints from others about his singing. He told them being spotted with bringing 14 men into his house will bring a dozen questions.
They sneak into town and hide in the house, there they met his three children. The singer gave them weapons for their quest but it was nothing but broken toys, they declined his request since it won't help him.
Late at night, they slip out of the house and tried to steal toys from a rich dude's house. They were caught and the Ugly Butler brought them to the Rich Lord. Rich Lord is asking what they are doing but the gang told him when they go up the mountain and slay the demonic serpent, they will bring money and make Rich Lord ten times rich. He let them go, gave them toys in good condition to help defend themselves, and wish them luck.
Unfortunately, not everyone in the company can go. Beardboy still hurt from the big epic battle during the barrel riding. The suction cup that hit his knee hurt him real bad. He stayed behind at Poet's house with his brother and a few others.
Meanwhile at an underground cavern at Booger Hollow. The two magic users arrived at the entrance of the cave. Earth Magician will stay behind and provide an escape when his friend leaves.
Magician travel deeper into the caverns. Without warning, a group of Neo-Red Coats and Evil Wolf Furries surrounded the man. He pulled out a few face eating bunnies out of his hat and threw them at some of the enemies. One of the wolf furries was about to lunge at the man but to his surprised, he was levitating. He dug in whatever invisible force was lifting him as saw he was on some wooden plank painted as the same color of the surrounding area. Before he could get off the platform, he saw Magician was holding a razor sharp metal ring and his own body was already halfway through. The magic user pulled down the ring, slicing the costumed man into two.
"Enough!" The man in the top hat turned and saw a man in black robes standing there. He took a hold of his clothing and pulled it off, revealing a man in armor. This shocked Magician, "I don't believe it. You were told to be destroyed centuries ago. Here you are before my eye, Evil Dude has returned."
During present time, Kind Boy sighed. Old Guy asked him what's wrong. "Ok, there were minor changes here and there as well a minor plothole filled, I can understand that but now your adding way too much. I don't remember Pretty Boy in it, let alone the girl that friendzone him with this love triangle around. Next, we had a big action scene at the river when they should simply float down the river with no resistance. We have all these subplots of Paris that was only suppose to be a few pages. Now Evil Dude is tied to the story? Are you making these up on the fly to make your story cooler or something."
Everyone in the room started asking questions. Swordguy II said did any of this really happen. Head Rancher mention this is dumb. Chris said it's silly to heard people telling made up stuff in stories. Mean Butler called Ugly Butler a ripoff despite the fact he existed since the 80s. Beardguy thinks it's cool to hear his dad battling Red Coats at the river. Pretty Boy told the rest he really was there. Eventfully, everyone calm down and resume listening to the story.
On the last day of Fall, the gang finally arrived at the mountain. The moonlight from the sky shined on a wall and revealed a key. They used it to open the secret door and entered the caverns. As the contract said, their burglar Young Guy must sneaked inside the vault and grab the Glowing Tennisball from the wretched serpent. They open the 30 foot door that leads inside for their young friend.
Poet got arrested again the 12th time this month because of complaints from his singing. Unknown to the beardmen who stayed behind at his house, the forces of evil led by the Albino's son notice this, meaning they are defenseless. He unleash a raid towards the poet's house. Poet's children grab some harps to defend themselves. They played on them to kill their enemies, only for nothing to happen. Only someone dumb enough to think that using harps as weapons was a great idea.
Thankfully the family, Pretty Boy and Bowgirl who been tracking the beardmen come in the rescue and totally pwned the enemy in over the top flashy moves. The Albino's son retreated with his forces. Bowgirl saw Beardboy injured and gave him some medicine to nurse him back to good health.
Meanwhile inside the giant bank vault that's within the caverns in Mount Magazine. Young Guy walks around towers made of dollar bills that only go up fifteen feet. He spotted some strange light down the vault. His own eyes spotted it, the glow in the dark tennis ball. He shoves it in his pocket and then heard a sound behind him. Was it the monster? He turns around and breathe a sigh and relief. It was a tiny little lizard. He picked it up by and leave the vault.
He went back to the others and told them while holding the lizard in the air. "I didn't see a monster but I.." He stopped when he his friends started screaming. They say, "EEEH! KEEP THAT BEAST AWAY FROM US!" They cornered themselves while one covered his eyes and pointed his plastic sword outward. The traveler drop it to the ground and said, "It's nothing but a harmless lizard. Don't tell me this is the beast you guys were telling me about?"
The lizard crawled towards the beardmen. They panicked and ran in different directions. One came back saying, "Don't don't worry guys, I..I will take care of it." In his hands was a bowl of nacho cheese. He closed his eyes in fear and threw the contents of the bowl towards the so called monstrous reptile. The cheese covered the entire lizard and splashed all over Young Guy. He wiped the cheese off his face and said to himself, "You got to be kidding."
He grabbed the lizard by the tail. He went outside and set it down on the edge of a cliff that was facing north to Paris. He perform a mighty kick that sent the animal skyward. He told his friends, "There, are you guys happy? I got rid of him."
He took a few minutes cleaning the nacho cheese off of himself. He was about to turn around but stopped when he heard shouts all the way from Paris. He pulled out a pair of special binoculars that can make you hear from great distances. From what he could make out he heard, "EEEH! AN EVIL BEAST! KILL IT FIRE, QUICK! OH GREAT, I ACCIDENTALLY BURNED DOWN SEVERAL HOUSES WHILE TRYING TO KILL IT!"
It sounds like citizens of Paris has Lizardphobia too. Young Guy facepalms.
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