Tuesday, October 28, 2014

Heroes vs Baddies: Battle of the Glow in the Dark Tennis Ball part 1

Here it is, the sequel to my Heroes vs Baddies story. Yes it's based on/parody of a certain movie with a few added scenes. Well enjoy the story.



Two years ago, Heroes and Baddies fought over Cabot High School. The war ended with the destruction of the Giant Winged Demon. Most of Baddies were killed or flee the area when the Giant Winged Demon attacked Cabot High School.

A small group of Junior ROTC students were sitting at a campfire in the woods that is several miles away from Cabot. They were roasting marshmallows, telling random romance stories and sometimes horror stories when they suddenly heard a twig nearby snapped. They looked at the direction of the noise when they saw a strange man carrying a large backpack on his back that contains Dodgeballs, Nerf guns, Nerf bombs, Nerf rockets. He also had two giant shoulder-mounted Nerf guns.

He said to the group, "My name is Ammo. Reports have told me that your small group has assisted the Heroes during the war. For that, you shall die for the glory of the great Baddie army." Ammo reach in his backpack and pulled out two Nerf rockets. The students quickly got up and try to flee as Ammo fired everything in he sees in sight. He caught the sight of one of the students who fell back on the ground and prepare to fire his Nerf rocket launcher at him.

Out of nowhere, a stun bomb hit the left side of his face. While blinded from the bomb, Ammo fired his Nerf machine guns at the direction of wherever the stun bomb hit. When his sight return, he fire a dozen rockets out at all the nearby trees. He stopped and watch around the area as the smoke clear. He presses a button on his watch and a video pop up on his timepiece. The video reveal a man who most people believe to be dead, a man named Traitor.

Ammo said to Traitor, "The small group of allies that helped the Heroes have been attacked but I fear there may be survivors." Traitor grinned his teeth and said, "You should may sure you killed every single one of them." Traitor sighed and continued, "Send out a Giant Mutant Insect to track down and kill the survivors. We will destroy all the Heroes and their allies. We will restore our glorious army and conquer all of Arkansas." Ammo replied back, "Don't forget, your're temporarily leader till we find our true master." Ammo turns off his communication device and started to remember how Traitor return to the Baddies.


A few months ago...

Ammo with an urn in his hands walks down on a stairway, leading into a dark cellar. As he enters the area, he saw candles all over the area and magic symbols on the ground. In the center was a robed-man. It was the Evil Elf King. The elf asked, "Is that his ashes?". The Baddie nodded yes. The elf king grab the urn out of Ammo's hand and poured the ashes on the floor symbols. He than pour a vial of blood on those ashes as well as some odd potions. He said, "It took me a while to find and anchor his soul in the underworld, I shall begin the ritual."

The Evil Elf King put his hands together and perform a chant that lasted over a minute. As the chant ended, the ashes floated to the air and a light was forming around those ashes. They turn into bones, than those bones grew muscles and blood veins. As the spell ended, what was ashes... is now a man in the flesh. Ammo quickly threw a sheet on the newly resurrected man to cover him.

The Evil Elf King said, "Welcome back to the land of the living, Traitor." The newly resurrected man took a few breaths and look up at the Elf King. He asked several questions, "What happen? Did I die? Didn't you die too Evil Elf King?" The elf replied, "Let's just say I pulled my guts back together and leave before anyone notice I was still alive. As for you, I brought you back from the dead just recently. After you left your master to die in the grassy wilderness, he came back and killed you."

Traitor started to remember what happen, he than asked, "What happen after?" The king of the elves answered, "Shortly after, A Giant Winged Demon attacked the high school. Many of the Baddies were either killed or flee the school from the event. A small group of Heroes went inside the monster and used a Glowing Tennis Ball to destroyed him. The very last sighting of your master was inside the demon. I sense he is alive so I doubt he's dead like you was."

Hearing the news, Traitor smile and said, "Than let him stay missing, I shall rebuild the army and retake the school and..." Suddenly, Traitor was grabbing his head like he has a major headache. The elf king said, "When I was getting ready to do the resurrection spell, I did a countermeasure to make you won't back out on finding your leader. The headaches will go away once you recover your leader. You can go ahead and build your army and hunt down Heroes or whatever, but remember this, finding your leader is your main goal. Your Baddie army will be my back up plan to invade Cabot if I happened to be killed or something."

The Elf King started to leave the cellar when Traitor asked, "Where are you going?" The Evil Elf King smiled and said, "I'm going to visit a guy at the flagpole, to show him I'm still alive and to show him my new powers I gained after my so called "death". Something you actually that happen to you." He laughs as he leaves the room.


Present time...

The next morning, A few survivors from Ammo's ambush exit the woods. They stop running and started to catch their breaths. One of the ROTC students spotted a pay phone a few feet away. He went to it and dial taxi service and ask for a ride to pick him up and his friends. He hung up the phone and went to his gang.

They smiled that they be heading home soon but they stop when they felt a large rumble from ground. Suddenly, a Giant Mutant Insect bust out of the ground they were standing on. The bug took a big chop at one of the students. The rest of the students step back and look at the monster. One of the students started throwing dodgeballs at the insect but did little effect on it. The man said, "Why isn't dodgeballs killing him." Soon, the other survivors grab dodgeballs and threw them at the bug.

After a few minutes from getting hit by dodgeballs, the Giant Mutant Insect was finally dead. The students worn out and sat down on the the ground. They gave a lite smile at their victory when they just then heard a vehicle coming. The group got up to see their ride coming to pick them up. However, they notice it wasn't a taxi that's coming, but a armored black van.


Meanwhile at the High School. I was sent to secretly watch over this Sophomore Boy. There been reports of Baddie spottings in Cabot lately. From what we heard, they're looking for their lost leader as well as the Glowing Tennis Ball. I remember ripping the ball open and releasing the glowing energy but I assume the ball was gone. According to New Captain, the ball will reform itself if it's ripped open like that. Sadly, it was never to be found after the Giant Winged Demon's destruction. I wish New Captain will help me more but he is stationed elsewhere in Arkansas, in case the Baddies show up elsewhere.

It's lunch break already and I see the Sophomore Boy meeting up with his girlfriend near the cafeteria. The reason I'm following him is because a machine that Medic gave me said that the Sophomore Boy has high amounts of glowing energy around him. He or somebody he knows must be in contact with the Glowing Tennis Ball.

I saw the couple leaving the area and heading east. I watch them past the Mini-gym and the Fine Arts building. They went to one of the locker rooms near the football field. I look to my left and saw a mean looking cop was following the couple as well. I step back and hid myself to make sure the officer didn't see me.


Inside the locker room, the couple was beginning to make out but they stopped when heard a noise from the entrance. They saw a mean looking officer standing there. He said, "My name is Evil Cop and you are under arrest for possession the Glowing Tennis Ball." The boy scratch his head and ask, "Wait, what are you talking about?" Evil Cop was getting angry and pulled out his handcuffs. He said, "Don't play dumb with me boy. You will surrender the ball."

Little did he know that I sneak up on him. I ram my shoulder into his back and slam him against the lockers. He turn around and said to me, "Freeze you hero scum!" He pulled out his nightstick and swing it at me. I dodge several of his swings. He swung horizontally and I ducked from his attack. I quickly saw an opening and delivered an uppercut on his chin. After that, I quickly delivered a right hook and than kick him in the stomach. Already, he was looking fazed from my attacks. I jumped up and dropkick him and watch as he fell into an open locker. I slammed the locker door, stuffing him in.

With him out of the way, I look at the couple who were confused of these recent events. I said to them, "I meet up with you guys at the bus parking lot near the water tower at five this afternoon. I will explain everything that happens."



Later that day at the bus parking lot. The couple was walking around and waiting till he saw me and three others. I said to them, "Hello, my name is Chris. We are part of a group called the Heroes." One of the Heroes wave to the couple and said, "Hey man, what's up? Everyone here calls me Rapper. How you doing?" Another one with a Nerf gun on his arms said with a very noticeable southerner accent said, "Hey, mine name is Gunner and the guy over there with the gadgetry is Medic." Medic wave at them and said, "While Rapper is a veteran from the war at the high school back at the beginning of the war. Me and Gunner recently join the Heroes to avenge the death of our cousins, Southerner and Doctor."

The couple looked confused and the boy asked, "Wait a minute, a war at the high school?" Seeing him like this. I told them the story about the war between the Heroes and the Baddies as well as the Giant Winged Demon's attack on the school.


As I was finishing up telling them everything, "...And the last time I saw their leader is when I threw him through him out of Giant Winged Demon's inners. After that, I ripped open the tennis ball and assume it was gone after that."

The boy asked, "Why are they after me?" I gave the boy an answer, "Because your body has high amounts of glowing energy. Meaning you or someone you know must been in contact of the ball. If the Baddies find it, they may of find their missing leader as well. With the Glowing Tennis Ball in their possession, they will use it's powers to easily conquer Arkansas in a few days."

The boy came up with an idea and said, "I take you to my house. Maybe one of my neighbors have it?" He went to his car and drove off as we followed him.


We were halfway to the sophomore's house till we saw a bunch of cars parked sideways in the middle of the road, blocking our access. We stopped our cars and looked at the roadblock. Just then, we heard the sounds of moving tires everywhere behind us. We looked behind and saw five armored black vans coming to our direction. As they got near, they stop their vehicles. About 25 men jump out of back of the vans who look like they belong to some SWAT team of some sort. Every single of them was armed with Nerf gun aimed towards our head.

One got in front who seems to be their leader said, "Hands up, your coming with us!" Seeing we had no choice, we raise our hands. They cuff us and put a paper bag over our heads. They force us to get inside their vans.

Wednesday, September 17, 2014

You Will Cry!!! 2013

Here's a collection of silly movie threats I made with my friends for all the films in 2013.



I'm going to make you watch the remake of Evil Dead...You will cry...You will cry...That's it's your typical boring horror movie.



Note- I apologized to any fans of the Evil Dead series but here's my personal experience. I was introduced to the Evil Dead movies with Army of Darkness and I enjoyed the movie. Several years later, I found out it was third in the series and I really wanted to see the prequels of Army of Darkness. I watch them and I was disappointed. Instead of an action fantasy movie, it was straight up serious horror movie. Talk about a genre clash. The 2nd movie was a little better, especially last 30 minutes because Bruce Campbell was turning into the Ash I remember from Army of Darkness and slaying monsters left and right. Horror movie buffs may enjoy these movies but as guy who was introduced from Army of Darkness, I didn't. I'm sorry, this wasn't my cup of tea.

I heard an Army of Darkness 2 will be coming out in a few years along with a crossover with the Evil Dead remake. That's kind of weird. Most movie remakes are a whole new story that takes place in a different universe with no connection the original.

Edit: Well it seems the crossover is just rumors but there is an upcoming spin-off called Ash vs. Evil Dead.


Here's the trailers of the series if anyone wants to see
ED1-https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dtsK7skqk9U

ED2-https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6lM3NPeEG24

AoD(ED3)-https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CZ-wU5RXw2o

Remake-https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FKFDkpHCQz4 There are other trailers to the remake but they're very gruesome. I wouldn't recommend watching them to anyone who have weak stomachs.




(Warning!!! Spoilers throughout the entire discussion of G.I. Joe)

I'm going to make you watch G.I.Joe Retaliation. You will cry...You will cry...When you see Magic Mike...Dies in the 1st five minutes.

That the trailers lied about Magic Mike dying in the 1st five minutes and it was really The Rock who dies.

That they tease you about Destro.


Note #1- Check out this trailer. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7ip8CgUplzk

I was blown away when I first saw that trailer. Most of the good guys from the 1st movie were killed off or went missing. This movie is radically different from 1st movie. It seem Channing Tatum was in the movie for a few minutes before he gets killed off and pass the torch to The Rock.

The movie was going to be released in Summer 2012 but got delayed till Spring 2013. They wanted to convert to movie to 3D, boost interest in international markets, and do some reshoots. One of the reshoots is extending Magic Mike's role. I think it's the fact that Channing Tatum suddenly got popular between the two G.I. Joe movies with Magic Mike and 21 Jump Street. The movie makers started to feel guilty of killing off a popular actor, so they extended his role. 

I heard in the animated movie from the 80s, Duke, the character Channing Tatum is playing was going to die but quickly changed into coma in mid-production of the movie. If there ever is a 3rd movie, maybe Magic Mike come back from a coma or something.


Note#2- The Rock dying in the 1st five minutes is a joke I made with some friends I know who watch Transformers: Prime. Because I remember the last time Dwanye Johnson had a role in something Hasbro-related, well...
Before the premiere of Transformers: Prime. There were announcements and they showed off the main characters of the show. Cliffjumper was going to be one of the main characters and he is voiced by The Rock himself. This is awesome!

However, in the 1st five minutes of the show, Cliff gets captured and killed. All this hype was just to shock the viewer. I joked the same thing was going to happen in the 2nd G.I. Joe movie.

Note #3- Halfway in the movie, when Cobra was freed from prison. He looks at Destro prison cell tube-like thing and leaves him there. If Christopher Eccleston was unable to play as Destro, they should of hired David Tennant. It wouldn't be the 1st time he replaced him.


I'm going to make you watch Jurassic Park in 3D...You will cry...You will cry...When you see the raptors...Don't have feathers. Who cares this movie was made before discovery of feathered raptors?Spielberg is friends with Lucas and you know Lucas like to re-edit his movies.

Note-A few years ago, I did wondered if Spielberg will digitally add feathers if he re-release the film. Well it was put in theaters again a few years later and there were no changes.
Edit: With the 4th movie out, there's still no feathers. 




I'm going to make you watch Iron Man 3... You will cry....When you see that the Mandarin... Doesn't have green skin.




WTF...Where is his Green skin?

When you see Bruce Banner's cameo...Isn't played by a 4th actor.

(Warning!! Spoilers!!)
When you see the Mandarin...As a light-hair man in a business suit...What another guy in a suit?

Note#1- I admit that I have I never read any of the comics or anything else but when I was little, I did saw reruns of the 90s cartoon on some station. I barely remember it but one of the things I vaguely remember was Iron-Man's main nemesis was a green-skin man with magical rings. This is the Mandarin, who is the main villain of the movie. I heard him having green-skin only came from the 90s show and none of the other versions of the characters.

Seeing we live in a world where people complain about the live-action Green Lateran being white(Hal Jordan and John Stewart are two different people with the same power), or Mary-Jane as a blond(Gwen Stacy you idiots). I'm sure there are people out there that complain the only version of the Mandarin that they are familiar with isn't in the film.

Note#2- In the 1st Avengers movie, I joked how the Hulk is always having a different actor whenever we see him. I predicted that his cameo be played by a 4th actor, and a 5th in Avenger 2, and a 6th whenever he gets his own sequel.

Well nope, the 3rd actor makes a cameo in the 3rd Iron-Man. Mark Ruffalo is in Avengers 2. I guess the curse of the ever changing actors for the Hulk has been broken.

(Waring!!! Spoilers!!)


Note#3-In a plot twist, The Mandarin was really an actor to pretend to be a terrorist while this light-hair man in a business suit was really calling the shots. This was very controversial moment and most fans of the character were not happy. I joked in that past popular villains has gotten miscast as light-hair men in business suits.(M. Bison, Human Bowser, Eric Sacks' Shredder)

There was a 14-minute short film released that showed the actor Mandarin in prison and it was told that both the businessman and the actor based their identity on actual Mandarin and he's out there somewhere.

There is an upcoming film called Shang-Chi and the Legend of the Ten Rings that will feature the real Mandarin.


(End Spoilers)

Here's the trailer
You can tell from the trailer how cool and evil the Mandarin is.



I'm going to make you watch Star Trek Into Darkness....You will cry...On trying to figure out who the heck Gary Mitchell is.

He look's like a generic Starfleet officer. Like I'm going to remember him.

Trying to figure out who Garth of Izar is

Trying to figure out who Colonel Green is

That Ricardo Montalban been replaced





Note- I was told that Gary Mitchell is the new villain of new Trek film. I had Google him to figure him out, only to see a generic Starfleet officer. Farther research told me that he is the main villain of the 1st episode of the original Star Trek series.(The one with Kirk, not Pike.) He was BFF's with Kirk until an accident happens that gave Gary god-like powers. He became a major threat to the crew. Gee, talk about the most obscure character for a movie villain. Tho the Transformers movies have obscure characters as the main villains.

For the longest time, I honestly believe this till within the month and a half the film will come out. I then was told it was Khan. Some people said it was Garth of Izar or Colonel Green but only a very small margin. It was Khan and Mitchell were the two most popular choices.


Here's a trailer of the episode Gary appeared.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M3qNW66wvWA
Notice the blond woman looks similar to the one woman in the movie. At the time, makes you wonder that the villain is Gary Mitchell

Here's a trailer of the episode of Garth of Izar.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zLX4jpkCl7I

Here's a trailer of the episode of Colonel Green
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zLX4jpkCl7I
This episode also have the very 1st appearances of Surak and Kahless. Which all later series will focus on.

Here's the trailer of the movie
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yhz4A5BCMAA



I'm going to make you watch Man of Steel...You will cry...That Superman doesn't have his hair curl hanging out. The 1st images show he doesn't have that and therefore, that means it's a bad movie.

Note- Fanboys are too judgmental over stupidest things.

Here's the trailer
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T6DJcgm3wNY




I'm going to make you watch Pacific Rim...You will cry...That the Russian and Chinese robots don't have enough screentime.

Note- I couldn't think of anything to say towards this movie other than their limited screentime.

Here's the trailer
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A85EtOalcsM




I'm going to make you watch The Wolverine...You will cry...You when you see Hugh Jackman...butt naked again as he forced to take a bath.

Note- Both of his solo minutes have him naked for nearly a minute. My poor eyes

Edit: It gets worse in Days of Futures Past.

Here's the trailer
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rh1LdTFkm7I



I'm going to make you watch Thor: The Dark World...You will cry...When you see a Norse god...played by a black man.
Does he look Scandinavian to you?

Note- One of the dumbest complains I hear about these movies is the gatekeeper, Heimdall is played by the guy from Pacific Rim. Technically, Heimdall isn't Scandinavian, he's an alien that the Norse people took as gods. Besides, Heimdall is awesome, why change him?

Here's the trailer





I'm going to make you watch Frozen...You will cry...You will cry...That the movie is a lame ripoff of Open Water. Gee of all movies, they wanted to ripoff a lame boring movie.








Let us go! Let us go! We're stuck up here.


What? You guys thought I was going to talk about the Disney movie? The one with that song that exploded all over the internet.


Note- I sometimes ask people what's their least favorite movie. I get answers like Wild Wild West, Garfield, X-Men Origins, Pompeii, and Open Water. Open Water is about 2 people who get stuck in the ocean, trying to survive. After a long long time, a shark eats them. The End.

I saw a trailer of this movie on a DVD at one point and it has the same exact title as the one Disney movie and it was made long before Disney movie. The story reminded me of what happens in Open Water.

Here's the trailer
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DNd2mSf755I




I'm going to make you watch Justin Bieber's Believe.

Note- Just saying the title is good enough. Alot people don't like Justin.

Saturday, August 2, 2014

The Friendship Of The Copper Ring That Came From A Coin Machine That Was Made From The Waters Of Petit Jean Mountain: Facts and Deleted Material

Click to view the story


Like the others, this story had rewrites

I never did finish the Copper Ring saga and only made 1st part of the story. Hopefully I get to finish one day.

During the prologue, it said that the rich, smart people were fans of Spock. How would they know who Spock is in ancient Arkansas? Did they have ancient magical TVs that pick up signals from the far future?

The story of the guy who knock off Evil Dude's ring, the fisherman, and Old Guy was laughably brief
"The person wanted the ring but it fell into the Arkansas River.A few years later, a short man found it and kept it for a few months until another short guy call Old Guy steal the ring and ran away." 

Sounds like ancient Arkansas doesn't sound that ancient judging by the sentence above.


Hill Area takes place in some random location in the Ozarks.

Hill Area was originally in the Ouachita mountains but it sounds weird they journeyed far north to Harrison like that.

The short man were originally midgets. I was worried I would offend some people so they been changed to short people that were below 5 foot.

Old Guy and Kind Boy were originally Old Midget and Main Midget. I notice in the 1st draft, Main Midget/Kind Boy's name went back and forth like I couldn't make up my mind what his name was.

Old Guy and Magician talking about kicking a lizard off of Mt. Magazine is a reference to the Hobbit. Remember, the Hobbit movies weren't out and I decided to throw a reference in from the book.


Trickster and Prankster was originally called, Prankster 1 and Prankster 2. Actually it was Pricklier 1 and 2 but it was a stupid typo according to 1st draft.

Magician and Old Guy discussing about the cheap ring was expanded. I added Magician telling Old Guy he didn't use a curtain to disappear at the party or leaving the ring for his nephew.

In the early versions, Magician said he was going to Books-A-Million in Conway. I used Google and I couldn't find a Books-A-Million in that city. I changed it to a regular library.


Dark Magician learns about the ring and battles Magician but the winner of this battle was the Dark Magician.
... Kind Boy woke up and sees Magician standing there. Magician said that he was able to escape from the Dark Magician.
Kind of lame how brief I wrote the battle and later, Magician's escape. Figure I show the two Magicians using tricks to fight and than show Magician being a escape artist.

It said that they went to the Harrison Pub. Does Harrison have a pub? Is Harrison in a dry county? Well I use the internet and it said Boone County is a wet county with dry spots. I wasn't sure about the place so I rewrote it as a bar not far from the city.

Chris (Me basically) was called Swordsman or Swordguy since I couldn't make up my mind on the character name was in the 1st draft. Since all my stories have me in it, I figure I rewrite Swordguy. There is no way in Middle-Earth that I wanted to be a hobbit, so you can forget it.

Chris was suppose to join them right away in the pub but where is that cool mysterious figure we saw in the movies before he reveals himself. I added that part in.

Remember, Nintendo DS or PSP wasn't around yet. I must of been playing either Metroid Fusion or Kingdom Hearts: Chain of Memories.

There was meant to be a scene where Chris asked the four short man why they didn't take the long way to Harrison because they would of seen a weird singing man. It's a reference to the books where the one of the biggest differences to the movies I notice is that they took a very long path to get out of the Shire. The movie just simply takes them straight to Bree where they met Aragorn. I decided to not add it because it would confuse people.

The scene where Chris asked about if Kind Boy and Gardener love each other wasn't in the early versions. The scene is based on the animated version of LOTR were they acted they're very much into each other.

The scene where Halloween costume wearing people stabbed Kind Boy was at some Indian ruins. I did a Google search for Indian ruins in Arkansas. According to my search, it doesn't seem to be any between Harrison to Ft. Smith for all I know. It got changed to generic ruins of some type.

His teammates manage to save Kind Boy. Wait a minute, what happen to the Halloween freaks? Did they teleported to Ft. Smith Hospital or something?

Pretty Boy was originally called Girly Boy.

If Chris was Swordguy(Aragorn), then what was Swordguy(Boromir) called? He was called Swordguy II.

The Evil Elf King was based on Agent Smith mix with Elrond. Hugo Weaving played both characters. These stories were made when both the Matrix and Lord of the Rings were the two biggest movies in the early 2000s.
When I decided to make a parody of LOTR and I got to the council scene. I found out I was in a dilemma, so I quickly made him the Evil Elf King's twin bro who is on the good side.

The scene where Beardguy failed to destroy the ring with a toy ax wasn't in the original. It was based on a scene that happen in the movie and I recently added to the story. It's to poke fun that everyone in all these stories never bother to wield actual weapons.

The long name people believing that blizzard came from Evil Dude or Dark Magician was recently added because the story took place in late Spring/early Summer and why would there be a blizzard at this time of year. When I notice I had a plothole, I needed to patched it up.

Magician shouting Eggroll over and over to open the door was based on animated version where it sounded like Gandalf was actually saying Eggroll. The Open Sesame line was still from the early versions.

Genetically Engineered Neo-Red Coats were called Genetically Engineered Neo-Confederates. You every now and than hear about Neo Nazis, so I try to be silly and create something that would not exist in today's world. According to internet, Neo-Confederates actually do exist.

The Neo-whatevers were based on the Uruk-hai which were genetically engineered monsters. The Neo-Confederates were going to be in the cave battle but I realized in the movie, the Uruk-hai doesn't show up till the end of the movie. I had to change it to evil cave dwellers.

The fight in the cave was told briefly and Kind Boy getting stabbed wasn't in the early versions.

The scene of the men forming into a giant cyclops wasn't in the early versions. It was based on the giant cave troll from the movie and a reference to the Cyclops that Chris saw in Heroes vs. Baddies.

When the story randomly takes them to southeast Arkansas, none of the gang mention why it took them way past their destination. It also said they sailed down the Arkansas River and end up in Pine Bluff. Why are they going away from their destination?

I extended the scene of explaining what the long title people got from the Trekkies.

The area near Stuttgart was originally where routes 79 and 49 meet up. That's a very random location and I doubt most people know where that is. I guess "Rohan" was intended to be West Memphis or something but I don't remember that far back.

Swordguy just simply die with no epic on verge of death fight or everyone saying their goodbyes to him.

Tuesday, July 22, 2014

The Friendship Of The Copper Ring That Came From A Coin Machine That Was Made From The Waters Of Petit Jean Mountain part 2 of 2.

View part 1

The Friendship Of The Copper Ring That Came From A Coin Machine That Was Made From The Waters Of Petit Jean Mountain (TFOTCRTCFACMTWMFTWOPJM) leaves the city of Ft. Smith and travel down the Arkansas river by canoes.

 The team had to stop at one point because a dangerous blizzard has appeared. Chris asked Magician, “Why is there a blizzard at this time of day?” The magically man replied back, “Dark Magician must of done a spell that summon a deadly snowstorm to stop us. We need to get to shelter.” Beardguy came to the two and tell them, “You guys can come to my cousin’s place in the caves that's not far from here. I heard that the caves can easily take you across Arkansas.” Swordguy asked Beardguy, “Why would a bunch of people live in caves?” The hairy man looked puzzled and said, “I don’t know?”


TFOTCRTCFACMTWMFTWOPJM had arrive to the front entrance to the caves but bad news is that the opening has a giant boulder in the way. There is some writing on top of the giant rock. Magician looked at the door and shouted a bunch of gibberish. After of a few seconds of saying nonsense, he than shouted, “EGGROLL! EGGROLL!” Chris got in front of him and asked, “You got Chinese food on your mind or something?” The young man turn to the door and said, “Open Sesame.” After saying those words, the boulder rolled away from the opening. Chris looked back at Magician and told him, “You know the writing on the boulder gave us clear instructions on how to open it.”

The 22 initial people went inside and travel through the caves for a few minutes. Beardguy came to a doorway and said in a excited tone, “Here’s where my folks are.” The very long title people pass through the door and see that inside looks like a living room but no one is around. Swordguy found a written note laying on an eating table and gave to Beardguy. The hairy man read out loud, “Evil cave dwellers roam these areas, we had to leave this place.” Suddenly, everyone heard a loud noise. The large name ground leave the living room and saw a group barbaric looking man marching straight for them. Chris and Swordguy pull out their toy lightsabers and slashed anyone they come across. Beardguy used a toy ax on them. Magician pulled a bunny out of his hat and send it to attack the evil cave dwellers. The four short guys used butter knifes. Pretty Boy used his dart gun as he held a hand mirror in the other hand to see if his hair looked good.

By the time most of these cave people were killed from the long name people’s weapons. The remaining five joined hands. Their flesh was ripping apart and realigning with each other. It was like they somehow were fusing together. The cave dwellers became one being, they became a giant Cyclops. Chris roll his eyes and said, “Great, another one of theses.”

The Cyclops grabs a stalagmite off the ground jabs it into Kind Boy’s chest. Blood appeared on his shirt and he died. The others attack the beast and kill it with their weapons. After the death of the monster, they went to their dead friend. To their surprise, Kind Boy open his eyes and got up. He lifted his shirt and it showed several busted ketchup packets he kept underneath his shirt. They blocked the Cyclops' attack. Everyone was happy he survived.

They journeyed farther in the cave till they heard loud footsteps behind them. They look behind and saw a 7-foot tall man equipped with flamethrowers and flaming chains coming towards them. Magician went in front of everyone and told them, “Stand back, I take care of this guy myself!” A giant curtain appeared and it separated Magician from the others. The long title people couldn't see what was going on but all they can hear was, “Abracadabra”. The curtain fell and both the Pyro guy and Magician were gone. The four from Hill Area cried like babies over the disappearance of Magician but they didn't cry about the Pyro guy because they are jerks.


The eight people exit the caves. Swordguy, Trickier, and Prankster took a few minutes of scouting and came back to the others. According to them, they’re in Southeast Arkansas at route 65. Chris looked at Beardguy and said, “We wanted to get closer to Petit Jean, not all the way to the other side of Arkansas.” Beardguy scratches his head and said, “Ahhsorry, I thought the exit will take us closer to the mountain.”


The 22 initial people sailed upstream on the Arkansas River and stopped at Pine Bluff. They look around the city and found another Star Trek convention with most of the people dressed as Vulcans. They welcome the long name group in. The pointy-ear fanboys and fangirls listen about the gang’s adventure. They let them spend the night at the place. The next morning, they gave them equipment like a month’s supply of bread, and new set of clothes as well as new weapons. Pretty Boy got a new shiny dart gun, Trickier and Prankster got brand new butter knifes, Gardener got a bunch shoestrings that were tied together, and Kind Boy got a flashlight. The fanboys wish them luck as the group traveled north.



After traveling for a while, the big name group stop at somewhere west of Stuttgart and took a rest. Kind Boy went off on his own to look around till he saw Swordguy coming to him and said, “Hey, I want to wear that cheap ring. I think I look good on me.” Kind Boy was shocked and said, “Are you out of your mind? This piece of jewelry that will cover all of Arkansas in darkness.” Kind Boy ran off to get away from the guy who wanted to cool with his new bling-bling.

Swordguy realized how stupid he was that he forgot that the ring the short guy was carrying is an evil object. As he head back to the others, he saw Trickier and Prankster running away… from an army of Genetically Engineered Neo-Red Coats.

Swordguy pulled out his toy lightsaber and attack his enemies. As he take some of them down, one of the Neo-Red Coats fired a dart at Swordguy, hitting him into his shoulder. The man from Russellville pulled out the suction cup out of his shoulder and charge towards his enemies as he strikes down several more. Two more darts hit him in the chest. Despite the heavy pain, he continue to attack his foes until he couldn't fight anymore. As he fell back and landed on the ground, he saw Chris, Pretty Boy, and Beardguy join in and fight off the remaining Neo-Red Coats who were still there. Chris fought against their captain. The young warrior stab his kneecap with his butter knife, then he use the toy lightsaber to cut of the captain’s arm off, than stab him into the chest. To his surprise, the captain didn't look like he was in serious pain. Chris quickly pulled out and than cut his head off, finally killing enemy captain.

The three warriors gather around the dying Swordguy. He told Chris that he scared away Kind Boy because he wanted to look good with his new bling-bling and that he saw Trickier and Prankster got captured. Chris grab his hand and said “Do not worry, we will save those two and the city of Russellville.”

The loaded his body on a boat and watch it sailed upstream.



Kind Boy wanting to go out alone to Petit Jean as Gardener followed him to tag along. Prankster and Trickster are kidnapped, Magician and Swordguy are dead, and the remaining three are hunting down Neo-Red Coats. Since the group of nine has split up, it feels weird to continue the story with the title doesn't serves a propose anymore.

Monday, July 21, 2014

The Friendship Of The Copper Ring That Came From A Coin Machine That Was Made From The Waters Of Petit Jean Mountain part 1 of 2




In the beginning, three rings from a coin machines are worn by rich, smart people with pointy ears
 Seven by people who never learn to shave their facial hair
 Nine by normal average boring people
 And one ring worn by a man named Evil Dude. 




In ancient times, in the land that would one day be called Arkansas. Evil Dude forged the ring from the waters of Petit Jean Mountain and it was later put in a coin machine. One of Evil Dude’s minions pay the coin machine and return the ring back to him. Evil Dude plan to rule all of Arkansas with his ring.

A massive war was waged across the land of Arkansas. During the battle, some guy was fighting Evil Dude and knock his ring off his finger. This average boring person took the ring to Arkansas River and he and one of the pointy ear people argue what to do with the ring but the average boring guy accidentally drop the thing and it fell into the Arkansas River.

The ring traveled upstream and wasn't touch for many centuries until two fisherman found it. One of the fisherman wanted the ring for himself and killed his friend. He did all this just for a piece of jewelry that only cost 25 cents. The murderous fisherman had the ring for a long time till he lost it from a short man called Old guy who took the ring from him and ran away. 



In modern day, in the Ozark mountains in an place called Hill Area. This is a land full of short people that are somewhere are below 5 feet tall.

Old guy was sitting at a tree near a road. He was looking forward on what he plan to do at his birthday party tonight. He heard horse steps coming, so he look up and saw a carriage on the road. The driver was an old friend of his, called Magician. They talk about old times about an adventure they had when he kicked a small lizard off of Mt. Magazine. They talk more about their adventures and discuss about Old Guy’s upcoming party.


That night, Old Guy’s party went on it was a blast. The whole town celebrated while Trickster and Prankster fire fireworks into the air. By the end of the party, everyone gather to hear Old Guy’s speech as he tells them he doesn't like half the town. Just then, he suddenly vanished. 



In less than half an hour, Magician visit Old Guy’s home and saw him packing. Old Guy told him that he’s going on an adventure and leaving his stuff for his nephew, Kind Boy. Magician asked about vanishing act since he didn't do with a curtain like most Magicians do. He notice Old Guy was obsessively holding on to this boring-looking ring. Magician asked him to give the ring to his nephew but Old Guy told him no and acted crazy like he was a druggie. Magician yell at him and did a magic trick that made the lights dim. Old Guy gave up the ring and put it in an envelope that he leaves for his nephew. 


The next morning, Old Guy took a vacation to get his mind off of cheap jewelry. Magician told Kind Boy that he believes that the ring is the very same one that once belong to Evil Dude. He told him to keep the thing safe while he goes to the library in Conway to do some research on the copper ring. He told the short man if he isn't back in a week, go to a bar near Harrison where one of Magician’s friends are. 



The next day, Magician arrives at Conway’s library and enters. Inside he saw one of his old friends sitting on a table and reading books. He is called Dark Magician. Magician grab some books off the shelf and sat down with his friend as he opens them. He told Dark Magician the news that he has found Evil Dude’s ring at Hill Area.

Reading through the books, he found out the only way to destroy the ring is to throw it in the waters of Petit Jean Mountain because the ring is made of some special detergent that only the mountain’s waters can dissolve it. 

Magician closes the books and get ready to leave when a giant curtain appeared in front of him. “Your not going anywhere, instead destroying the ring, we should join the winning team.” said Dark Magician. Magician was surprised that man like Dark Magician wants to join with Evil Dude. Dark Magician took off his hat and release five birds out of his hat. The birds flew to Magician and attack him from all sides. Busy being distracted by the birds, Magician didn't see his former friend from behind with a magic wand in his hand, with a needle poking out of the wand. The evil man stabs him from behind causing Magician to be paralyzed. He said him, “I injected a paralyzing drug into you, you be like this for about an hour.” He took Magician to his lair as he wraps a straitjacket on him as well as chains. He than put the wrapped up Magician in a box and wrap the box in chains.



It’s been a week since Kind Boy last heard of Magician. He decided to take his advice and go to Harrison. He took some his friends on his journey like Gardener, Trickster, and Prankster. They head westward and stay at a pub not far from Harrison.

 They sat down and drink some sparking champagne for a while when a mysterious hooded man drops a rolled up ball of paper on their counter. As the guy leaves through the front door, Kind Boy picked up the rolled up ball and unfolded it. The writing on the paper said, “I see you guys in room 103 on the hotel across the street.” 

After they finish their drinks, they went the hotel and enter the room the paper told them where to be. Inside the room was the hooded man sitting in a chair playing Game Boy Advance when he notice the four from Hill Area enter the room. He turn off his game and lay it on the counter. He threw off his hood and said, “Hello, my name is Chris. I’m a friend of Magician and he told me that we’re going to meet up in this town. Sadly, I don’t see Magician anywhere. I guess he was taken prisoner.” He looked at the four short man and saw their faces were filled with shock and sadness. Chris continued, “We need to get moving because Evil Dude’s forces are searching for you guys. There is a safe haven in Ft.Smith with more of Magician’s friends there.” 


They got on horses and journey westward to Ft. Smith. They stop for the night and made a campfire. They roasted marshmallows and Chris told the some random romance stories. As he finish, he notice Kind Boy and Gardener looked at each other in the eyes in an a certain way. Chris whisper to Trickster and Prankster and said, “Are they?” Trickster shook his head and replied, “No, Gardener has a girlfriend back in Hill Area.” Chris scratches his head and said to them while still having a confused look, "Well OK then."


The continue their journey to Ft. Smith till they took a rest and visited some ruins. In the middle their break, they heard horse steps coming. Chris told them to hide and everyone hid behind some rubble while Kind Boy put on the ring and went invisible. The horseman approach the area and jumped off their horses. They look like they were still wearing their Halloween costumes at this time of the year. One of them walk to Kind Boy’s location like he can easily see him. He stabs a cursed butter knife into Kind Boy's shoulder. The three from Hill Area pulled out their butter knifes and attack the men in the costumes. Chris also comes out of hiding and pulls out a toy lightsaber and swings it at his foes. He manage to kill a few of them and the rest retreated because they're wimps.

The wounded Kind Boy took off the ring. Everyone gather around him and look at his shoulder wound. Chris said to the others, “They stabbed him with a cursed butter knife, he will die in days. We need to hurry and get him to the hospital in Ft. Smith. Their medicine can undo the curse in his shoulder.” The team got on their horses and continue to head west to heal their friend. 



Kind Boy open his eyes and see he was on a hospital bed. At his side was Magician sitting in a chair, reading a book called, “A Guide to Magic Tricks.” The short man asked, “Your alive, what happen to you? Why weren't you at the bar.” Magician explains how Dark Magician plans to join the bad side and how he imprisoned him. Luckily for Magician, he also a talented escaped artist. He escaped from Dark Magician's lair by pulling a giant dove out of his hat and ride the bird to take him to Ft. Smith. 


As soon as Kind Boy started to feel well, the gang leaves the hospital and went to a nearby Star Trek convention where they see a lot people dressed up as Vulcans. They went to a closed off room with several people gathered there. There are Vulcan fans, men who never shaved in their life, and average boring people. One of the people that Kind Boy saw his uncle, sitting down in one chair. Old Guy told his nephew that his vacation is going well and that he is writing a book about his adventure of how he kicked a small lizard off a mountain. He gave his nephew his favorite weapon, a glow in the dark butter knife. 

A few minutes later, an actual Elf enter the room. He sat down in one of the chairs and said to everyone, “I’m The Evil Elf King’s twin brother. Do not worry, I’m nothing like my brother. Anyways, let us begin this meeting and discuss the fate of the ring.” 

The ring was put on a stool in the middle of the room. One of the guys who never shave got out of his seat and hammered his toy ax to destroy the ring. The toy ax bounce back and the ring was unscratched because destroying something with a piece of plastic is impossible and stupid.

The man with the toy ax sat back in his seat. The discussion went on for a few minutes as Magician told everyone about his research on that only the waters of Petit Jean can destroy the thing. The Evil Elf King’s twin brother said there must be a small team to journey to Petit Jean to destroy the ring or all of Arkansas be covered in darkness. 

The four from Hill Area, Magician, and Chris were already selected to be part of the team. New additions were Pretty Boy from Ozark National Forest, Beardguy from the Ozark caves, and Swordguy from Russellville. Together, they form... The Friendship Of The Copper Ring That Came From A Coin Machine That Was Made From The Waters Of Petit Jean Mountain. 

Saturday, July 5, 2014

You will Cry!!! 2012

Here's a list of silly movie threats from 2012



I'm going to make you watch the Avengers....You will cry...You will cry...When you see the Hulk...Played by a 3rd actor.





Why can't you just stick to one actor?

Note- Well the 1st Hulk movie in 2003 isn't really connected to The Incredible Hulk(2008) and The Avengers(2012). The 2nd Hulk movie could be seen as a sequel to the 1st one since bits and pieces from the 1st movie happen and that movie ends with Bruce Banner in somewhere in South America, where the green guy was in the beginning of the 2nd one. As far as Marvel and most people said, the 2008 is a reboot and alot people hated the 2003 movie. If you want to watch all the Marvel movies leading up to Avengers, you can skip the 2003 movie since it doesn't count and it's an awful movie.

I heard there was some conflict with Edward Norton and Marvel studios so they got him replace with a 3rd actor.


I'm going to make you watch, Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter.


Note- Like Aliens and Cowboys, the silly title says it all.





I'm going to make you watch....Magic Mike....It's a movie about male strippers. 
Ahhhh....No thank you. I'm not into girl movies like Twilight and Watchman.

Note- Never watch it. Some of my friends joke I need to see this movie. I heard it was a good movie despite the concept is about male strippers.

Here's the trailer. If your female, please don't drool on your keyboards.




I'm going to make you watch...The Amazing Spider-man....You will Cry...When you see....A blond Mary Jane.



How did you get her hair color wrong?




Note- I actually seen some people who complain about Mary Jane is a blond in this movie. Here's the thing, Mary Jane Watson and Gwen Stacy are two different people. Peter Parker was with Gwen long before he ended up with Mary Jane in the comics. Some people are only familiar with the 1st movie trilogy and only know that Mary Jane as his main love interest. Dudes, look up facts before you bash the film. Gwen did had a small role in Spider-Man 3 as Peter's lab partner who Mary Jane was jealous of.







I'm going to make you watch The Dark Knight Rises....You will cry...You will cry...When you see Batman....Opening his mouth.

You cry...That this movie's villain Bane...is connected to Mitt Romney and the Bain Capital.


Note #1- Christian Bale's take on Batman is very funny to listen to.

Note #2- Some radio talk show host named Rush Limbaugh claims that Bane is based on Romney and the Bain Capital. OK, a quick 5 second check on Google will prove you wrong.





Total Recall- You will cry...When you see... A three-breasted woman....WTF, there's no mutants in this movie. This cameo doesn't make sense.

Note- Seen the movie and it's very forgettable. I try to be open-minded and don't compare it to the 1990 version but, the movie is still forgettable. The whole "Is this a dream or not a dream" was quickly shoehorned in the last two seconds of the film. Two things I did like about this movie is the cool storm trooper bots and how Doug Quaid used his experience as a robot engineer to dismantle a robot. The guy been living a double life and he has been learning stuff besides being a secret agent.







The Expendables 2-You will cry...That Jet Li is only in the movie for a few minutes.


Note- Well I joke on the 1st movie that Arnold and Willis is in the movie for a few minutes. Well in this movie, Jet Li was only in the movie for 1st part because he was busy making a movie in China. If you only came to see him, well sorry.




Looper- You will cry...That this movie is complete different than you thought.

Note- Waring Spoilers. Move to the next thing.


I thought this movie was about Joseph Gordon-Levitt and Bruce Willis joining forces to take down the company that making the time-travel killings, not Bruce Willis going all Terminator on a young kid who will grow up being the Rainmaker while his younger self tries to stop all of this.







Skyfall- You cry...That the movie is audio for the blind is playing.


Note- I went to see the new Bond flick and I notice the trailers were silent. I saw Thor talking about enemy planes arriving on USA's western shores with no words coming out of his mouth.(Red Dawn) All of sudden I heard some monotone voice describing about the roaring loin for MGM and than the Statue of Liberty wannabe for Columbia Pictures. The movie starts and describing Bond's piercing blue eyes in a dark hallway as he explores a ransacked room. The movie was playing audio for the blind. The workers at the theater marked our tickets and said to come back and we will watch the movie for free.

Gee, I wonder if gremlins invaded the movie theater. I wish this guy was here that day.
http://youtu.be/XACDNcj50Zk?t=48s

You will cry...When you see... a young Q.

I think he is off by 20 or 30 years. Oh and that pic above is from Desmond Llewellyn's 1st role as Q, showing that the new Q is still off by several decades.

Also look at the remaining cast. *Warning. Spoilers for Skyfall*
 We got a Female M
 A black Moneypenny

 Felix is now black

And Bond is blond. WTF has happen to the 007 series.

Note- I admit I was a little set back that Q is young at first but he seems pretty much like his counterparts if he was younger. If you look at the old Bond films and look at the new ones, pretty much everyone looks different. Well there was a black Felix in the unofficial film, Never Say Never and the female M is not really "The M" but more of a legacy character.






Wreck-It Ralph-You will cry...When you see Zangief...As a bad guy.

Note-In the video game storyline, Zangief is just merely a Russian wrestler who wanted to participates in tournaments. He was never a bad guy at all. In every trailer, it showed Zangief in the bad guy room where he shouldn't be. Even the unfaithful Van-Damme adaption of Street Fighter was closer to what Zangief was simply because he didn't know who the bad guys were at the end of the movie.

I heard the writer of the movie said he always loses to Zangief when he played the games and that was good enough for him to see Zangief as a bad guy. If that's true, than Jigglypuff is an evil Pokemon who wants to rule the world simply because I suck playing as her in Super Smash Bros.







The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn part 2- You cry...When you know that....Edward and Bella are not together in real life and watching them together in this movie is upsetting.

Note- The actors who play Edward and Bella are together in real life till photos of Bella having an affair with the director of Snow White and the Huntsman. The guy who played Edward was upset and left his girlfriend.






The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey- You will cry...When you see...All these characters that weren't in the book. Who in Middle-Earth is the Brown Wizard and the Necromancer?

Note- Well the Brown Wizard and the Necromancer had minor mentions in The Hobbit and Lord of the Rings books. They appeared more in the J.R.R Tolkien's other stories. I heard the female elf in the 2nd movie was an original character Peter Jackson made.