You Will Cry!!!...Kung Fu Edition

Here's a collection of silly movies threats about some Kung Fu flicks.

I'm going make you watch Bruce Lee's Game of Death...You will cry...When you see Bruce Lee....For 11 minutes.

Note- Bruce Lee was doing a movie about going up inside a pagoda and fighting enemies one by one. Sadly, Bruce Lee died and the movie was never completed. A few years later, film makers wanted to cash in and try to complete the movie on their own. The actual footage Bruce Lee did is near the end of the movie.

As I was watching the film, I can clearly tell I wasn't looking at Bruce. Throughout the film, "Bruce's" face barely shown unless he was wearing sunglasses, a fuzzy beard, or bandages around his face. One moment had Lee looking at a mirror and you saw a cardboard cutout of Lee tapped to the mirror.

Something doesn't look right

The movie also used alot stock footage from Bruce Lee's earlier films. There some fights and in order to do a close up of Lee's face, they use stock footage. I can clearly tell the background looks completely different. They even used footage of Bruce Lee's actual funeral. That's wrong and creepy. What's also creepy is that Bruce's character(who is a movie actor) was filming a scene where several policeman fired their guns at Lee. One of the bad guys sneak in and loaded real bullets in one of the prop guns. It's creepy because this what happens to Bruce Lee's son.

Here's the trailer if anyone wants to see

I'm going to make you watch Jackie Chan's Winners and Sinners and his other film, Blade of Kings...You will cry...When you see Jackie.....in a small role.

You will cry when you see Blanka....Butt naked for five long minutes. Ahh, My eyes are burning!

What's the point of having Jackie on the main cover if he's only going to have a small role.

Also on the 3rd biggest character in Winners and Sinners poster is Jackie's other childhood BFF who had a far more smaller role.

At lease this poster is far more fitting. Showing Jackie plays a far more smaller role than the 5 guys above him.

Note#1- Winners and Sinners is really more of a Sammo Hung movie about him and four other people who were released from prison and living a free life in an apartment complex. Jackie was more of a supporting character than a main. Sammo's character become friends with Jackie midway.  The Chinese title of the movie is called Five Lucky Stars and they have their own film series which I didn't know about till after seeing the movie.

Some of you may remember I mention Blade of Kings on the 2010 You Will Cry page. The actual main characters are these two girls who are popular singers in Asia. They are on a quest with their boyfriends to find Excalibur. Donnie Yen(who is also barely in the movie) follows them. Donnie encounters a statue that comes to life and the statue is Jackie. They fought for five minutes and Jackie returns to being a statue.

Note#2- In Winners and Sinners, one of Sammo's friends who I call Blanka, reads a book on how to become invisible. He uses it and believes he's invisible as he walks around the apartment butt naked. My poor eyes are burning.
Why am I calling the guy Blanka? Well I remember the actor in a different film but I get to that later.

Here's the trailer of Winners and Sinners
Very misleading trailer.

Trailer for Blades of Kings
Well the trailer kinda admits Jackie is a guest star. It does trick you to think Donnie's the main character.

I'm going to make you watch Jackie Chan's City Hunter...You will cry... When you see that the three and half minutes of the Street Fighter scene is better than the entire movies of Van Damme version and Legend of Chun-Li.



Note- Late in the movie, Jackie was thrown into an arcade and it transform him and several others in the room into Street Fighter characters. They were throwing hadokens and doing spinning bird kicks. It is awesome. Most fans greatly prefer this small scene over the two theatrical SF movies from Hollywood.

Here's the scene from the movie










I'm going to make you watch Jet Li's Last Hero in China...You will cry...You will cry...When you see Jet Li...Dressed as a Chicken

Cluck Cluck

Note: Last Hero in China is a parody/comedy/spinoff of the Once Upon A Time in China series. Jet Li plays the famous folk hero, Wong Fei-hung in the series as well as the parody. Late in the movie, Jet Li has to face a group of people in a giant caterpillar outfit and Jet copies a fighting style from a chicken to defeat his enemy.

Here's the trailer if anyone wants to see

Here's a trailer of Once Upon A Time in China
You can tell from the trailer alone that the series is far more serious.

I'm going to make you watch Donnie Yen's Mismatched Couples..You will cry..When you see Donnie Yen...Dancing like a buffoon.



Note: Long before he became popular, Donnie was in a movie where he acted goofy throughout this totally 80s flick. You watch any his newer films and then look at this one, it's very funny to see him like this. Some fans of Donnie Yen had their jaws dropped on seeing their favorite star like this.


Here's a trailer if anyone wants to see
There's not that many videos I can find on this movie. There was a clip of the 1st two to three minutes of Donnie dancing in the streets on youtube before it got pulled.

Going to force you to watch The Dragon Lives Again...You cry...When you see Bruce Lee...Joining forces with Popeye as they fight James Bond, Clint Eastwood, and Dracula.

I'm not lying, here's the trailer as proof

Note- After Bruce Lee died, alot studios try to cash in on Lee alive by making movies with people that look similar or barely look like Lee and make cheap films. It's called Bruceploitation. I never watch any of these knockoffs. Some films were renamed at the last minute so the stuidos can make a quick buck. I saw a site that talks about these knockoff films. I briefly went over it and it did mention some of the craziest and more weirder films during the Bruceploitation era.

Here's a clip of (Not)Bruce fighting a Gorilla

 Once Jackie started to get popular with comedy kung-fu movies, the clone era faded.

I going to make you watch Future Cops....You will cry... When you see...

When you see Mario....Talk about AIDS
Click the video

When you see Guile, the All-American Air Force dude from Street Fighter... seduces a girl with his singing.
Click the video



When you see Blanka's rolling cannonball attack....As a beach ball

When you see Guile and Vega....eat a refrigerator.
See Vega balance books on his arms while sleeping.
See Guile build a nuke out of scrap in seconds.
See Dhalsim burn a bully's butt.
See Vega uses Guile's hair as a broom
See Ryu for a only a few minutes.
When you see two Chun-Lis
You cry...When you see......Goku

What is Goku doing in a Street Fighter movie

Note- Future Cops is an unofficial Street Fighter movie with a few other things like Goku from Dragonball. The director of the movie wanted to make a Street Fighter movie but Capcom didn't give him the rights to use their characters. The director still went ahead and made the movie. Most of the characters look a little different and have different names. It's a very very wacky movie. People who seen this said this movie was still better than the two Hollywood movies as well as Dragonball Evolution.

Here's the trailer

Heroes vs. Baddies: Battle for the Glow in the Dark Tennis Ball: Facts and Deleted Material

Click to view story

If you guys haven't figure out my story is based on/a parody of, it's the 2007 Transformers movie.

I try to think on what was the biggest movie in the late 00s. The answer was the Transformers film. I could do a story based on that but it be tricky since I already did a story based on the 1986 movie which is in a completely different universe with certain characters dying. The characters who they were based on were introduce in the live-action movie universe. In the story, I had to revive characters(Traitor), or make similar related characters(Southern/Gunner and Doctor/Medic).

After the 1986 movie, season 3 of the Transformers series premiere with the Decepticons searching for their leader so the storyline of Villain being missing was easy to insert.


Ammo blasted everything that moved. On the next day, "I believe that some of the ROTC students survive." He sends a Giant Mutant Insect.
That sounds like the attack was very brief. Also, how did he not notice people survive his extremely brief onslaught.

Ammo never answered to Traitor on his watch.

Traitor's entire resurrection scene was quickly told in the intro paragraph in the story. That's terrible. You can't do an important scene as a piece of backstory.

The Evil Elf King didn't give Traitor his headaches originally. It was something I added because it does seem weird that Traitor is searching for Villain instead of ruling the Baddies himself.

The ROTC students seeing a black van wasn't in the original. The scene ended with them waiting for their ride.It was a school bus they were waiting for. I figure add the black van to have foreshadowing of the secret agency.

New Captain being stationed elsewhere in Arkansas wasn't in the original. I figure I should explain why there wasn't many Heroes like the 1st HvsB story and answering if New Captain is still the leader of the Heroes.

The Sophomore's body having high levels of glowing energy around his body is something I added in the recent version. The 1st draft said that the Heroes believe he may know that location of the Glowing Tennis Ball. It's never explain how the Heroes know that he or someone he knows (like his dad) has the ball.

After defeating Evil Cop, an evil goblin entered the room and try to eat the sophomore boy's face. I pulled the goblin off and kicked him across the football field.
I felt that was too random to introduce him. I figure I add an army of them invading Cabot's Secret Agency place later.

No, the locker battle with Evil Cop wasn't based originally based on (Not)Bruce Lee's locker room fight from Game of Death. As I was writing the recent version, I was sort of thinking of the fight from the movie and added the end where I kick the fazed Evil Cop into a locker. Gee, of all the 5 Bruce Lee movies I have to copy from, I copied from the one he's barely in. The original said I rammed Evil Cop into a locker.

Gunner and Medic were originally called Southerner and Doctor. It's just two people that have the same exact name as the other Southern and Doctor who died in the 1st HvsB story. I also rename them, Southern II and Doctor II. I figure just rename them and make them cousins of the old Southerner and Doctor.

The SWAT members of Cabot's Secret Agency never put paper bags on our heads and took us straight to the elevators that's underneath the police station. I found odd the place wasn't very secret seeing they just took us right there with our eyes open.

I also change the location because Traitor and the rest of the Baddies be fighting the police force above us who were unaware of the Secret Agency. There's no reason to involve the police into the story.

The original order was that the Secret Agency Father showed us Villain's body, The Baddies made the area shook, and then the Secret Agency Father told us the location of the Glowing Tennis Ball.

Villain met Traitor on the police station's rooftop rather than Sonic's.

The scene with football player from Buffalo, New York was based on the scene where Optimus fought Bonecrusher on the highway. Bonecrusher was based on this vehicle.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Buffalo_%28mine_protected_vehicle%29
In my story, I look at the vehicle's name and decided to turn him into a football player from Buffalo.

The scene where the Heroes(minus me) met up between two trailers and Traitor coming in and blew them up wasn't in the original version. The story have Rapper got to the school before everyone else and saw Villain and an army of Baddies in front of him.

The scene where Rapper talks to Evil Cop and getting Armor's name wrong wasn't in the original version. The scene is based on the two biggest plotholes I noticed when I 1st watched the 2007 Transformers movie. Look at this 30 second video of the Decepticon roll call.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dxPB6BNPf5Q
One is Brawl(the tank) was called Devastator. The movie made a mistake there. Everywhere else, he's called Brawl and the real Devastator showed up in the movie's sequel as the combined form of the construction vehicles.

The other plothole is Barricade(the cop) said he's heading towards the city but during the big battle, he never showed up. He was never to be seen in the 2nd movie but he finally showed up in the 3rd movie for a few seconds just before he got killed.

The Baddies shouted, "YES SIR!" They activated their jetpacks and flew in different directions. I don't think every Baddies has jetpacks like Armor.

The original had the sophomore couple with us the entire time after we grab the Glowing Tennisball from the Secret Agency.

The Helicopter coming to help wasn't in the 1st draft.

Villain explaining the Evil Elf King's spirit awakening him was a quick last minute decision on my 1st draft I made because it does seem weird for someone to wake up from a coma like that suddenly and especially with all of us there. Another reason is the Evil Elf King is based on a mix of Agent Smith from the Matrix and Elrond from Lord of the Rings. Take a guess who was the voice of Megatron in the 1st three Transformers movies. I didn't plan on this originally but I remembered who was the voice of Megatron when I was in the middle of writing the 1st draft.

Ammo didn't have the two Darth Maul toy lightsabers melded together.

I know in the movie, Sam was the one who stopped Megatron and not Optimus, but no one cares about a boring human. My story is about the actual characters everyone wants to see.

Traitor and any other survivors escaped. At the time, I didn't know which Decepticon survive other than Starscream(and Barricade wherever he went). For all I know, the Decepticons were badly damage and retreat to lick their wounds. Nope, they all died in the movie's climax.

The Sophomore couple wanting to make out on top of me with my friends watching is based on the ending of the 2007 ending. In the movie, the two humans lay on top of Bumbleebee and made out while the other Autobots watched. What was going through Bumblebee's head at that moment? If I was him, I tell them to forget it and walk away.

Heroes vs Baddies: Battle of the Glow in the Dark Tennis Ball part 3

View part 2

I finally got to the school and went behind one of the trailers not far from the ROTC building. There I saw Gunner and Medic who look like their hiding from someone. I said to them, "Sorry I'm late but have you guys seen Rapper?" Medic looked sad and told me, "The Baddies made a big explosion and made us scatter. I went back and saw Villain killing Rapper with his bare hands. I quickly went back to hiding. It was a good thing they didn't notice me." Hearing his story, I was feeling sad about what happen to Rapper but something else that Medic that surprised me. "Wait, you saw Villain? I thought he was in a coma in the secret agency place? Why would he suddenly wake up like that?" I can tell from look on Medic's face that he didn't have a clue about how Villain return.

Out of nowhere a Nerf rocket pass by our heads. We looked who fired and the man who fired was Armor. Gunner pulled out his Nerf guns and fired 100 rounds of Nerf bullets on the evil man but the bullets bounce off of his body. Gunner said while continuing firing, "Nerf guns ain't working on this fella. Nothing is making a dent in his armor."

I try to think how to defeat this guy when I notice a convertible far back between the ROTC building and where the caboose used to be. It was the Secret Agency Guy's son with his girlfriend. I told Gunner and Medic, "Guys, keep this guy busy because I have a plan to stop Armor. Medic, can you hand me a Nerf rocket launcher." He toss me the weapon and I grab it. I leave them and took a route that went around Armor as he is busy fighting the other two.

When I got to the Sophomore couple's car, the boy said to me, "My dad has radioed reinforcements. A helicopter will be coming." I said back to him, "That's good news. Can you guys do a favor for me?" I jumped in the backseat and pulled out Medic's weapon.


Gunner continued firing while Armor step closer and closer to the two Heroes but he stopped when he heard the sounds of a speeding car nearby. Armor turn to the direction of the car and saw me riding in Sophomore boy's car. The vehicle drove near in front of him as I jumped out of the car and press the Nerf Rocket Launcher on his chest. I said to him, "Eat this!" I fired the weapon and the rocket lifted Armor up in the air. The rocket carried his body through two trailers and then crashed into a third trailer. Soon the rocket the sent Armor flying exploded, destroying the entire trailer in flames.


About a minute later, we saw a helicopter coming from the direction of the Fine Arts building. We lifted our arms and celebrated. Sadly, our celebration was cut short as two dodgeballs hit the helicopter. We watch as the vehicle spin out of control and crashed somewhere over the distance.

Medic scratch his chin and said, "Judging from where the helicopter would crash, I'm say it hit the Auto-Tech building." I think back when I 1st fought the Evil Elf King and asked Medic, "Is that building a magnet for crashing helicopters?" Medic lifted his arms and shrug. We turn and looked where the dodgeballs come from. It seems to come from the flagpole area.

We head to flagpole area but we stopped as we saw Traitor flying in the air. He said to us, "I was hoping you die from my sticky bombs earlier. I so badly wanted to sell your body parts on Ebay."

We threw our dodgeballs at him but his talent of using his jetpack dodge our attacks. Gunner tap my shoulder and told me. "I reckon that Armor fella may have a weapon I can used." He went off to where Armor's body is as me and Medic continue throwing dodgeballs at Traitor. I told Medic we need to get to higher ground. We went to a nearby trailer and climbed up.

We got on the roof and we went back at throwing dodgeballs at the Baddie but he continue to dodge our attacks. However, one of the balls manage to hit his foot. Traitor grab at his foot and said in pain, "My foot...  it freaking hurts!"

With him distracted, I told Medic to give me a lift. He put his hands together and I put my foot on them. He threw me up and I was next to Traitor. I said, "Here's my technique of jetpack judo." I grab him and getting ready to throw him into the ground but suddenly, I felt Traitor's knee rammed into my stomach. My grip on him loosen as he said to me, "No, Here's my technique." He grab me and threw me down to Medic's location.

I crashed into Medic. We got back up to our feet when we saw Traitor ready to hit us with a dodgeball. Just then, we heard, "HEY!" We turned to the sound saw Gunner on top of another trailer with some sort of Nerf rocket. He said, "Heat seeking Nerf missiles, seek heat." Hearing what he said, I gave a Gunner a mean glare like I wanted to smack his head for saying a lame and stupid line.

He fired the missile and Traitor flew off to avoid it. The missile got closer and closer and hit Traitor's jetpack. The man spin out of control and crashed into one of trailers.

Gunner look down on the ground and shouted, "LOOK OUT!" Me and Medic turn and saw Villain on the ground firing his Nerf cannon on the trailer we were standing on. Both of us quickly jump off as the trailer exploded.


When the explosion died down, I open my eyes and got up to my feet and see Villain a few feet in front of me. I asked, "Weren't you in a coma? It seems odd you just suddenly just woke up." Villain smiled and said, "You want to know, well the Evil Elf King is responsible." I was confuse and said, "Is he back from the dead too?" Villain replied, "No, it that after his death, he wasn't ready to pass on to the afterlife just yet. His spirit found me in that underground place. He saw that you guys were there, the Glowing Tennis Ball is nearby, and my army is trying to free me. He saw it was the perfect time to bring me out of the coma. Before he pass on to the afterlife, he used the last remaining magic to awaken me. A piece of his spirit entered me and increase my strength, now he is a part of me."

After listening to his story, I said to him, "I notice your voice sounds different. It's like a sort of mix between your's and the Evil Elf King's."


Meanwhile, not far from my location, Medic slowly open his eyes as he heard Gunner's voice saying, "Hurry, you need to get up!" Medic raise his hand outwards as Gunner pulls him up. "Chris is fighting Villain now." They went to the location of the battle but stop when they saw the evil Baddie called Ammo heading towards the same location. Gunner said, "Hey, what are you doing?" Ammo turn to them, "I got to help my leader." Gunner said back, "No way, that's Chris' fight."

The two fired a Nerf cannon at the same. Their shots collided and bounce away. Ammo pulled out machine Nerf guns and fired. The Hero jumped out of the way and hid behind one of the trailers for cover. Ammo than started to run towards Gunner's location and said, "You better surrender Hero." Gunner stop hiding and fire his Nerf guns to take him down. Ammo in return pulled out something that look like two Darth Maul toy lightsabers that are melded to together in a X-like shape. He uses his new weapon to slice through all of Gunner's Nerf bullets.

Ammo walks closer as Gunner try to reload his guns. Ammo now stands over him and have his Nerf cannons aimed towards his head. Gunner who was expecting his doom has now notice that Ammo struggling with something. He look and saw Medic is on his back, reaching inside Ammo's giant backpack. The Baddie reach up and threw Medic off of him. Ammo said to them, "Now I can kill you both." Before he could, he notice Medic was giving off a smile. The Hero said, "Guess what, I activated one of your Nerf bombs inside your bag."

Hearing what Medic said, Ammo quickly try to hurry up and unbuckle his book bag but it was too late. Every weapon on his back exploded. As the explosions died down, the two Heroes witness Ammo's body fell to the ground.


I was face to face against the leaders of the Baddies. Villain fired his Nerf Cannon at me but I ran around to not get hit from his weapon. He fired another shot but I rolled forward and soon as I got up, I threw a dodgeball at him. The ball I threw knock his cannon out of his hands. With that gone, I threw several punches into his face and stomach but Villain started to counterattack. He than grab me and threw me to the side of one of the trailers.

As I got to my feet. I saw Villain activated his jetpack and was flying towards me to as he was going to ram me into the trailer. I rolled out of the way as he crashed into the trailer. The force of his impact turn the trailer to the side. I watch as the trailer fell and crumbed into pieces. I hope that was the end of Villain.

Suddenly, Villain bust out of the trailer wreckage. He pulled out a dodgeball attach to a rope, like it was a ball and chain. He swung it at me and I ducked to avoid it. He continue to swing it at me several times but I continue to avoid his blows. He said, "Why won't you just die you puny Hero!? I want that Glowing Tennis Ball!"

He swung his weapon at me again, however I soon as I dodge it, I grabbed the rope and yank it from Villain's hands. I reach into my pocket and pulled out the Glowing Tennis Ball. I ran towards Villain and said, "You want the Glowing Tennis Ball, you can have it!"

I slamming the ball into his chest. All of the sudden, the ball was shaking, making a weird noise, and getting bright. Everything the Glowing Tennis Ball was doing was getting bigger and bigger. Soon a big pillar of light erupted from the ball. Soon as the light died down. Villain's body collapsed on the ground. I looked to my hand and saw a few yellow strings.

Medic went up to the Baddie's body and use a machine on him. He turn around and said, "He's not dead but he's sort of alive. He's not in a coma but it's more like a state of suspended animation...Interesting" I look at the strings at my hand. I said in a sad tone, "I don't think the ball is going to reform from what it just did. These strings may be the only remanding thing of it."

Medic looked sad and said, "We need to give Rapper a proper burial soon." I thought back about the times Rapper help us in the war. It's terrible another Hero is gone like Southerner, Doctor, Cop, Tough Guy, and Captain.

We heard a loud noise and we turn to see Traitor flying in the air. He said to us, "So Villain is gone again. What's even better is that the headaches from the Evil Elf King's curse is gone." He gave a loud laugh and said, "Till next time Heroes." He flew off as we heard him still laughing all the way.

Gunner have begin to notice something and said, "Hey wait a minute, I thought Evil Cop was here?" I replied to him, "I'm guessing he must of flee from the battle because he's a wimp."


We dumped all the dead bodies of the Baddies into the bottom of the Arkansas River as well as Villain's. All the major damage that happen to Cabot High School was repaired overnight. 

As me and the other Heroes, we were getting ready to celebrate our victory. The sophomore couple approach me and said they wanted to help celebrate by making out on top of me. I gave them a disgusted look and said, "Your joking right?" The girl said, "All your friend can watch if they want." I told him to forgot it and they're weirdos. I don't why people like them have odd ideas like that.

Despite the loss of Rapper and the Glowing Tennis Ball, we defeated the Baddies again. Traitor is out there somewhere but when he comes back, we be ready.

The End

Heroes vs Baddies: Battle of the Glow in the Dark Tennis Ball part 2

View part 1

Sometime later after being abducted by those SWAT looking guys, we heard it's ok to remove the paper bags over our head. They remove the bags and the first thing I notice is that we're in some elevator leading deep underground. The elevator has stopped and the guards lead us out and into a place full of hallways. They took us across the halls and led us to some room with a table in center of the room with chairs and a bowl on top. Inside the bowl was sour cream and onion potato chips. On the other side of the table was the small group of ROTC students who helped us in the war.

The guards told to sit down as they leave the room and lock the doors. The ROTC students told us of the Baddie named Ammo attack them and he send a Giant Mutant Insect to hunt them down. They were later pick up by a black van that brought them here.

After waiting for a few minutes, one of the doors opened and a man in his 40s entered. The Sophomore boy saw him and got up his chair and said, "Dad, why are you here?" The man replied to him, "Hello son. I work for a secret agency that's been around since the founding of Cabot. Our purpose is to protect the city from major threats. For the past week, there been reports of you being followed, possibly trying to find our place."

I told the boy's father, "No, we're the good guys. We're trying to find an object that we lost two years and a group of bad guys are also after that and we're trying to get it before they do. You see there was..."

I told him everything war and how it ended, As I was finishing,"...and the reason we been following him is because Medic's machine told us that his body has high amounts of glowing energy."

After hearing all of this, the man started to speak, "Well two years ago, we have heard rumors of a giant monster attacking the high school. When our group got there, there were no evidence of the incident ever happen besides two things we have discover that day. We believe one of them is this Glow in the Dark Tennis Ball you guys mention."

He told the guards to release our cuffs and he told us to follow him. We went upstairs and went to inside a room. In the middle of the room was a display case of the Glowing Tennis Ball. We finally found what we're looking for.  I turned to the secret agency father and ask him, "You said two things that you discover that day. What's the other?"

He told us to follow him and we went to a different room. Inside was a couple of prison cells. Inside one was a man laying on a table hooked to an I.V. The secret agency father told us, "He's been in a coma since the day we found him."

I recognize him and said, "It's him...It's Villain." Rapper asked, "Hey dude, I thought he was Supervillian at the end you know." Medic scratched his chin and said, "It's possible that he reverted back to Villain after the Giant Winged Demon was destroyed."

I let out a sigh of relief and said, "Well he ain't going anywhere and the Glow in the Dark Tennis Ball is locked up in this secret area. It seems we don't have to worry about anything now."

I turned to the Sophomore's dad and said, "For a big organization for protecting Cabot, you guys missed alot things like the war two years, the Giant Winged Demon's attack, or when the Evil Elf King was turning everyone into an elf."

Before he could answer, the entire place shook. When the shaking stopped, the intercoms turn on with Traitor's voice going through the speakers. "ATTENTION ALL HEROES! SURRENDER NOW AND GIVE US VILLAIN AND THE GLOWING TENNIS BALL!"

We heard the door behind opened and saw five goblins running towards us. The secret agency father step in front of us and kill the goblins with his Nerf gun. He said to us, "Your weapons are in the armory down the hallway. Take the Glowing Tennis Ball and get out of here." He headed upstairs to fire at any goblins that are coming from the entrance.

We did as the man said and grab our weapons and the glowing tennis ball. We rode the elevator to the surface. As we got there, we notice we were behind the Fred's store. I put the Glowing Tennis Ball in my pocket and said my others, "They don't know exactly who has the ball, so we need to split up and regroup at the High School. I see you guys there." We all head off in separate directions.


Meanwhile in Secret Agency prison area. Villain's eyes opened. He got up and ripped I.V. out. He shouted, "I AM VILLAIN!" He quickly pull his prison bars like they were nothing. He step out of his cell and saw two guards. Villain grabbed one guard and threw him into the other. He then went to the armory and saw his Nerf cannon and jetpack mounted on the walls. He takes them and puts them on.


Villain flew straight up and busted out surface. He chose to land on Sonic's rooftop. He saw Traitor in the air and he was landing down to meet him. He lifted his arms, praising Villain and said, "Our great leader has return, now we finally crush the Heroes and-" Traitor couldn't finish his sentence because Villain threw a fist into his face. As Traitor fell back on the rooftop, the Baddie leader planted his foot on top of Traitor's face. He said to him, "I thought I killed you after you left me rot in the grassy wilderness?" Traitor replied while having Villain's foot on his face"I'm...I'm sorry. The Evil Elf King brought me back to find you a few months ago before he was truly defeated. I..I..I won't betray you again."

Villain lifted his foot off of Traitor's face and look down at him, "You better not do that ever again." Traitor got up on his feet and take few breaths. He said, "Sir, the Heroes have scattered and one of them may have the Tennis Ball. We think they are regrouping at the High School." Villain smile and said, "Then let us meet them there."


Meanwhile, I was the courtroom's parking lot. I'm about halfway to the school when I saw a man running towards me. It was a former member of the New York's Buffalo football team. He threw a football at my head. I duck to avoid it and still see the guy is still running towards me like he was getting ready to tackle. I backed up to a dumpster. As he was getting close, I pulled out a pencil and stab it into his shoulder. The football player step back and grab his shoulder in pain. With him being detracted by the pain, I quickly picked him up over my head and threw him into the dumpster. I wasted too much time with this guy, I needed to hurry up and get to the High School.


Meanwhile at the school, Gunner, Medic, and Rapper met up between two trailers near the flagpole. Rapper asked, "Hey dudes, where's Chris?" Gunner replied back, "He may of been distracted by a Ba..." Gunner stop as he notice something in the air, "LOOK OUT! IT'S TRAITOR!"  The Heroes turn around and see Traitor with his jetpack flying towards them with two sticky Nerf bombs in his hands. He threw them at the two trailers the Heroes were in between. The good guys try to flee as the bombs went off and blew up the two trailers.



When the explosion die off, Rapper opened his eyes and got up to his feet. He saw debris from the remains of those trailers all over the ground. Gunner and Medic were no where in sight but he did see two Baddies ahead of him. One is the mean officer that Chris fought earlier while the other is a man in very thick armor all over his body. Rapper said to them, "Well look who it is, it's Evil Cop and what's your name again? It's Cyclops right?" The who he called Cyclops got angry and slam his foot on the ground. He said, "Do I look like a giant one-eye monster to you? My name is Armor."

Rapper threw several dodgeballs at his opponents. Evil Cop duck to avoid them while the dodgeballs bounce off of Armor's body. Rapper said to himself, "Why didn't dodgeballs kill him?" Rapper heard footsteps from all over the place, he notice that ten more Baddies were surrounding him. The Hero said, "If I'm going down, I'm taking every one of y'all with me!"

Rapper threw dodgeballs at any Baddie that got near. Just then, a dark shadow appeared over Rapper. Rapper grab a dodgeball off the ground plan to ram it into the guy's chest...but the shadowy man smack the dodgeball out the Hero's hand and grab him by the neck. He lifted him to his eye level and Rapper saw who it was...It was Villain. The leader of the Baddies said to him, "Such heroic nonsense". Right after, Villain snapped his neck and than drop his lifeless body to the ground.

The Baddie leader looked around the area and said, "Traitor, answer me this. What is all these trailers doing here? There's a ton of them from the Gym's entrance to the ROTC building." Traitor walk up to his leader and answer, "The High School is in the beginning stages of a big remodeling. It will be finished in a few years." Villain thought to himself and said out loud, "Hmm...Interesting."

Villain turn to his group and said, "Baddies, hunt down the rest of those puny Heroes and bring me the Glowing Tennis Ball." The Baddies saluted by waving their arms to their chest. The shouted, "YES SIR!" They scattered out in different directions.

View Part 3

Heroes vs Baddies: Battle of the Glow in the Dark Tennis Ball part 1

Here it is, the sequel to my Heroes vs Baddies story. Yes it's based on/parody of a certain movie with a few added scenes. Well enjoy the story.



Two years ago, Heroes and Baddies fought over Cabot High School. The war ended with the destruction of the Giant Winged Demon. Most of Baddies were killed or flee the area when the Giant Winged Demon attacked Cabot High School.

A small group of Junior ROTC students were sitting at a campfire in the woods that is several miles away from Cabot. They were roasting marshmallows, telling random romance stories and sometimes horror stories when they suddenly heard a twig nearby snapped. They looked at the direction of the noise when they saw a strange man carrying a large backpack on his back that contains Dodgeballs, Nerf guns, Nerf bombs, Nerf rockets. He also had two giant shoulder-mounted Nerf guns.

He said to the group, "My name is Ammo. Reports have told me that your small group has assisted the Heroes during the war. For that, you shall die for the glory of the great Baddie army." Ammo reach in his backpack and pulled out two Nerf rockets. The students quickly got up and try to flee as Ammo fired everything in he sees in sight. He caught the sight of one of the students who fell back on the ground and prepare to fire his Nerf rocket launcher at him.

Out of nowhere, a stun bomb hit the left side of his face. While blinded from the bomb, Ammo fired his Nerf machine guns at the direction of wherever the stun bomb hit. When his sight return, he fire a dozen rockets out at all the nearby trees. He stopped and watch around the area as the smoke clear. He presses a button on his watch and a video pop up on his timepiece. The video reveal a man who most people believe to be dead, a man named Traitor.

Ammo said to Traitor, "The small group of allies that helped the Heroes have been attacked but I fear there may be survivors." Traitor grinned his teeth and said, "You should may sure you killed every single one of them." Traitor sighed and continued, "Send out a Giant Mutant Insect to track down and kill the survivors. We will destroy all the Heroes and their allies. We will restore our glorious army and conquer all of Arkansas." Ammo replied back, "Don't forget, your're temporarily leader till we find our true master." Ammo turns off his communication device and started to remember how Traitor return to the Baddies.


A few months ago...

Ammo with an urn in his hands walks down on a stairway, leading into a dark cellar. As he enters the area, he saw candles all over the area and magic symbols on the ground. In the center was a robed-man. It was the Evil Elf King. The elf asked, "Is that his ashes?". The Baddie nodded yes. The elf king grab the urn out of Ammo's hand and poured the ashes on the floor symbols. He than pour a vial of blood on those ashes as well as some odd potions. He said, "It took me a while to find and anchor his soul in the underworld, I shall begin the ritual."

The Evil Elf King put his hands together and perform a chant that lasted over a minute. As the chant ended, the ashes floated to the air and a light was forming around those ashes. They turn into bones, than those bones grew muscles and blood veins. As the spell ended, what was ashes... is now a man in the flesh. Ammo quickly threw a sheet on the newly resurrected man to cover him.

The Evil Elf King said, "Welcome back to the land of the living, Traitor." The newly resurrected man took a few breaths and look up at the Elf King. He asked several questions, "What happen? Did I die? Didn't you die too Evil Elf King?" The elf replied, "Let's just say I pulled my guts back together and leave before anyone notice I was still alive. As for you, I brought you back from the dead just recently. After you left your master to die in the grassy wilderness, he came back and killed you."

Traitor started to remember what happen, he than asked, "What happen after?" The king of the elves answered, "Shortly after, A Giant Winged Demon attacked the high school. Many of the Baddies were either killed or flee the school from the event. A small group of Heroes went inside the monster and used a Glowing Tennis Ball to destroyed him. The very last sighting of your master was inside the demon. I sense he is alive so I doubt he's dead like you was."

Hearing the news, Traitor smile and said, "Than let him stay missing, I shall rebuild the army and retake the school and..." Suddenly, Traitor was grabbing his head like he has a major headache. The elf king said, "When I was getting ready to do the resurrection spell, I did a countermeasure to make you won't back out on finding your leader. The headaches will go away once you recover your leader. You can go ahead and build your army and hunt down Heroes or whatever, but remember this, finding your leader is your main goal. Your Baddie army will be my back up plan to invade Cabot if I happened to be killed or something."

The Elf King started to leave the cellar when Traitor asked, "Where are you going?" The Evil Elf King smiled and said, "I'm going to visit a guy at the flagpole, to show him I'm still alive and to show him my new powers I gained after my so called "death". Something you actually that happen to you." He laughs as he leaves the room.


Present time...

The next morning, A few survivors from Ammo's ambush exit the woods. They stop running and started to catch their breaths. One of the ROTC students spotted a pay phone a few feet away. He went to it and dial taxi service and ask for a ride to pick him up and his friends. He hung up the phone and went to his gang.

They smiled that they be heading home soon but they stop when they felt a large rumble from ground. Suddenly, a Giant Mutant Insect bust out of the ground they were standing on. The bug took a big chop at one of the students. The rest of the students step back and look at the monster. One of the students started throwing dodgeballs at the insect but did little effect on it. The man said, "Why isn't dodgeballs killing him." Soon, the other survivors grab dodgeballs and threw them at the bug.

After a few minutes from getting hit by dodgeballs, the Giant Mutant Insect was finally dead. The students worn out and sat down on the the ground. They gave a lite smile at their victory when they just then heard a vehicle coming. The group got up to see their ride coming to pick them up. However, they notice it wasn't a taxi that's coming, but a armored black van.


Meanwhile at the High School. I was sent to secretly watch over this Sophomore Boy. There been reports of Baddie spottings in Cabot lately. From what we heard, they're looking for their lost leader as well as the Glowing Tennis Ball. I remember ripping the ball open and releasing the glowing energy but I assume the ball was gone. According to New Captain, the ball will reform itself if it's ripped open like that. Sadly, it was never to be found after the Giant Winged Demon's destruction. I wish New Captain will help me more but he is stationed elsewhere in Arkansas, in case the Baddies show up elsewhere.

It's lunch break already and I see the Sophomore Boy meeting up with his girlfriend near the cafeteria. The reason I'm following him is because a machine that Medic gave me said that the Sophomore Boy has high amounts of glowing energy around him. He or somebody he knows must be in contact with the Glowing Tennis Ball.

I saw the couple leaving the area and heading east. I watch them past the Mini-gym and the Fine Arts building. They went to one of the locker rooms near the football field. I look to my left and saw a mean looking cop was following the couple as well. I step back and hid myself to make sure the officer didn't see me.


Inside the locker room, the couple was beginning to make out but they stopped when heard a noise from the entrance. They saw a mean looking officer standing there. He said, "My name is Evil Cop and you are under arrest for possession the Glowing Tennis Ball." The boy scratch his head and ask, "Wait, what are you talking about?" Evil Cop was getting angry and pulled out his handcuffs. He said, "Don't play dumb with me boy. You will surrender the ball."

Little did he know that I sneak up on him. I ram my shoulder into his back and slam him against the lockers. He turn around and said to me, "Freeze you hero scum!" He pulled out his nightstick and swing it at me. I dodge several of his swings. He swung horizontally and I ducked from his attack. I quickly saw an opening and delivered an uppercut on his chin. After that, I quickly delivered a right hook and than kick him in the stomach. Already, he was looking fazed from my attacks. I jumped up and dropkick him and watch as he fell into an open locker. I slammed the locker door, stuffing him in.

With him out of the way, I look at the couple who were confused of these recent events. I said to them, "I meet up with you guys at the bus parking lot near the water tower at five this afternoon. I will explain everything that happens."



Later that day at the bus parking lot. The couple was walking around and waiting till he saw me and three others. I said to them, "Hello, my name is Chris. We are part of a group called the Heroes." One of the Heroes wave to the couple and said, "Hey man, what's up? Everyone here calls me Rapper. How you doing?" Another one with a Nerf gun on his arms said with a very noticeable southerner accent said, "Hey, mine name is Gunner and the guy over there with the gadgetry is Medic." Medic wave at them and said, "While Rapper is a veteran from the war at the high school back at the beginning of the war. Me and Gunner recently join the Heroes to avenge the death of our cousins, Southerner and Doctor."

The couple looked confused and the boy asked, "Wait a minute, a war at the high school?" Seeing him like this. I told them the story about the war between the Heroes and the Baddies as well as the Giant Winged Demon's attack on the school.


As I was finishing up telling them everything, "...And the last time I saw their leader is when I threw him through him out of Giant Winged Demon's inners. After that, I ripped open the tennis ball and assume it was gone after that."

The boy asked, "Why are they after me?" I gave the boy an answer, "Because your body has high amounts of glowing energy. Meaning you or someone you know must been in contact of the ball. If the Baddies find it, they may of find their missing leader as well. With the Glowing Tennis Ball in their possession, they will use it's powers to easily conquer Arkansas in a few days."

The boy came up with an idea and said, "I take you to my house. Maybe one of my neighbors have it?" He went to his car and drove off as we followed him.


We were halfway to the sophomore's house till we saw a bunch of cars parked sideways in the middle of the road, blocking our access. We stopped our cars and looked at the roadblock. Just then, we heard the sounds of moving tires everywhere behind us. We looked behind and saw five armored black vans coming to our direction. As they got near, they stop their vehicles. About 25 men jump out of back of the vans who look like they belong to some SWAT team of some sort. Every single of them was armed with Nerf gun aimed towards our head.

One got in front who seems to be their leader said, "Hands up, your coming with us!" Seeing we had no choice, we raise our hands. They cuff us and put a paper bag over our heads. They force us to get inside their vans.

View part 2

You Will Cry!!! 2013

Here's a collection of silly movie threats I made with my friends for all the films in 2013.

I'm going to make you watch the remake of Evil Dead...You will cry...You will cry...That's it's your typical boring horror movie.

Note- I apologized to any fans of the Evil Dead series but here's my personal experience. I was introduced to the Evil Dead movies with Army of Darkness and I enjoyed the movie. Several years later, I found out it was third in the series and I really wanted to see the prequels of Army of Darkness. I watch them and I was disappointed. Instead of an action fantasy movie, it was straight up serious horror movie. Talk about a genre clash. The 2nd movie was a little better, especially last 30 minutes because Bruce Campbell was turning into the Ash I remember from Army of Darkness and slaying monsters left and right. Horror movie buffs may enjoy these movies but as guy who was introduced from Army of Darkness, I didn't. I'm sorry, this wasn't my cup of tea.

I heard an Army of Darkness 2 will be coming out in a few years along with a crossover with the Evil Dead remake. That's kind of weird. Most movie remakes are a whole new story that takes place in a different universe with no connection the original.

Edit: Well it seems the crossover is just rumors but there is an upcoming spin-off called Ash vs. Evil Dead.


Here's the trailers of the series if anyone wants to see
ED1-https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dtsK7skqk9U

ED2-https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6lM3NPeEG24

AoD(ED3)-https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CZ-wU5RXw2o

Remake-https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FKFDkpHCQz4 There are other trailers to the remake but they're very gruesome. I wouldn't recommend watching them to anyone who have weak stomachs.

(Warning!!! Spoilers throughout the entire discussion of G.I. Joe)

I'm going to make you watch G.I.Joe Retaliation. You will cry...You will cry...When you see Magic Mike...Dies in the 1st five minutes.

That the trailers lied about Magic Mike dying in the 1st five minutes and it was really The Rock who dies.

That they tease you about Destro.

Note #1- Check out this trailer. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7ip8CgUplzk

I was blown away when I first saw that trailer. Most of the good guys from the 1st movie were killed off or went missing. This movie is radically different from 1st movie. It seem Channing Tatum was in the movie for a few minutes before he gets killed off and pass the torch to The Rock.

The movie was going to be released in Summer 2012 but got delayed till Spring 2013. They wanted to convert to movie to 3D, boost interest in international markets, and do some reshoots. One of the reshoots is extending Magic Mike's role. I think it's the fact that Channing Tatum suddenly got popular between the two G.I. Joe movies with Magic Mike and 21 Jump Street. The movie makers started to feel guilty of killing off a popular actor, so they extended his role. 

I heard in the animated movie from the 80s, Duke, the character Channing Tatum is playing was going to die but quickly changed into coma in mid-production of the movie. If there ever is a 3rd movie, maybe Magic Mike come back from a coma or something.

Note#2- The Rock dying in the 1st five minutes is a joke I made with some friends I know who watch Transformers: Prime. Because I remember the last time Dwanye Johnson had a role in something Hasbro-related, well...

Before the premiere of Transformers: Prime. There were announcements and they showed off the main characters of the show. Cliffjumper was going to be one of the main characters and he is voiced by The Rock himself. This is awesome!

However, in the 1st five minutes of the show, Cliff gets captured and killed. All this hype was just to shock the viewer. I joked the same thing was going to happen in the 2nd G.I. Joe movie.

Note #3- Halfway in the movie, when Cobra was freed from prison. He looks at Destro prison cell tube-like thing and leaves him there. If Christopher Eccleston was unable to play as Destro, they should of hired David Tennant. It wouldn't be the 1st time he replaced him.

I'm going to make you watch Jurassic Park in 3D...You will cry...You will cry...When you see the raptors...Don't have feathers. Who cares this movie was made before discovery of feathered raptors?Spielberg is friends with Lucas and you know Lucas like to re-edit his movies.

Note-A few years ago, I did wondered if Spielberg will digitally add feathers if he re-release the film. Well it was put in theaters again a few years later and there were no changes.

Edit: With the 4th movie out, there's still no feathers. 

I'm going to make you watch Iron Man 3... You will cry....When you see that the Mandarin... Doesn't have green skin.

WTF...Where is his Green skin?

When you see Bruce Banner's cameo...Isn't played by a 4th actor.

(Warning!! Spoilers!!)

When you see the Mandarin...As a light-hair man in a business suit...What another guy in a suit?

Note#1- I admit that I have I never read any of the comics or anything else but when I was little, I did saw reruns of the 90s cartoon on some station. I barely remember it but one of the things I vaguely remember was Iron-Man's main nemesis was a green-skin man with magical rings. This is the Mandarin, who is the main villain of the movie. I heard him having green-skin only came from the 90s show and none of the other versions of the characters.

Seeing we live in a world where people complain about the live-action Green Lateran being white(Hal Jordan and John Stewart are two different people with the same power), or Mary-Jane as a blond(Gwen Stacy you idiots). I'm sure there are people out there that complain the only version of the Mandarin that they are familiar with isn't in the film.

Note#2- In the 1st Avengers movie, I joked how the Hulk is always having a different actor whenever we see him. I predicted that his cameo be played by a 4th actor, and a 5th in Avenger 2, and a 6th whenever he gets his own sequel.

Well nope, the 3rd actor makes a cameo in the 3rd Iron-Man. Mark Ruffalo is in Avengers 2. I guess the curse of the ever changing actors for the Hulk has been broken.

(Waring!!! Spoilers!!)

Note#3-In a plot twist, The Mandarin was really an actor to pretend to be a terrorist while this light-hair man in a business suit was really calling the shots. This was very controversial moment and most fans of the character were not happy. I joked in that past popular villains has gotten miscast as light-hair men in business suits.(M. Bison, Human Bowser, Eric Sacks' Shredder)

There was a 14-minute short film released that showed the actor Mandarin in prison and it was told that both the businessman and the actor based their identity on actual Mandarin and he's out there somewhere.

There is an upcoming film called Shang-Chi and the Legend of the Ten Rings that will feature the real Mandarin.

(End Spoilers)

Here's the trailer
You can tell from the trailer how cool and evil the Mandarin is.

I'm going to make you watch Star Trek Into Darkness....You will cry...On trying to figure out who the heck Gary Mitchell is.

He look's like a generic Starfleet officer. Like I'm going to remember him.

Trying to figure out who Garth of Izar is

Trying to figure out who Colonel Green is

That Ricardo Montalban been replaced

Note- I was told that Gary Mitchell is the new villain of new Trek film. I had Google him to figure him out, only to see a generic Starfleet officer. Farther research told me that he is the main villain of the 1st episode of the original Star Trek series.(The one with Kirk, not Pike.) He was BFF's with Kirk until an accident happens that gave Gary god-like powers. He became a major threat to the crew. Gee, talk about the most obscure character for a movie villain. Tho the Transformers movies have obscure characters as the main villains.

For the longest time, I honestly believe this till within the month and a half the film will come out. I then was told it was Khan. Some people said it was Garth of Izar or Colonel Green but only a very small margin. It was Khan and Mitchell were the two most popular choices.


Here's a trailer of the episode Gary appeared.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M3qNW66wvWA
Notice the blond woman looks similar to the one woman in the movie. At the time, makes you wonder that the villain is Gary Mitchell

Here's a trailer of the episode of Garth of Izar.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zLX4jpkCl7I

Here's a trailer of the episode of Colonel Green
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zLX4jpkCl7I
This episode also have the very 1st appearances of Surak and Kahless. Which all later series will focus on.

Here's the trailer of the movie
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yhz4A5BCMAA

I'm going to make you watch Man of Steel...You will cry...That Superman doesn't have his hair curl hanging out. The 1st images show he doesn't have that and therefore, that means it's a bad movie.

Note- Fanboys are too judgmental over stupidest things.

Here's the trailer
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T6DJcgm3wNY

I'm going to make you watch Pacific Rim...You will cry...That the Russian and Chinese robots don't have enough screentime.

Note- I couldn't think of anything to say towards this movie other than their limited screentime.

Here's the trailer
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A85EtOalcsM

I'm going to make you watch The Wolverine...You will cry...You when you see Hugh Jackman...butt naked again as he forced to take a bath.

Note- Both of his solo minutes have him naked for nearly a minute. My poor eyes

Edit: It gets worse in Days of Futures Past.

Here's the trailer
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rh1LdTFkm7I

I'm going to make you watch Thor: The Dark World...You will cry...When you see a Norse god...played by a black man.

Does he look Scandinavian to you?

Note- One of the dumbest complains I hear about these movies is the gatekeeper, Heimdall is played by the guy from Pacific Rim. Technically, Heimdall isn't Scandinavian, he's an alien that the Norse people took as gods. Besides, Heimdall is awesome, why change him?

Here's the trailer





I'm going to make you watch Frozen...You will cry...You will cry...That the movie is a lame ripoff of Open Water. Gee of all movies, they wanted to ripoff a lame boring movie.

Let us go! Let us go! We're stuck up here.

What? You guys thought I was going to talk about the Disney movie? The one with that song that exploded all over the internet.

Note- I sometimes ask people what's their least favorite movie. I get answers like Wild Wild West, Garfield, X-Men Origins, Pompeii, and Open Water. Open Water is about 2 people who get stuck in the ocean, trying to survive. After a long long time, a shark eats them. The End.

I saw a trailer of this movie on a DVD at one point and it has the same exact title as the one Disney movie and it was made long before Disney movie. The story reminded me of what happens in Open Water.

Here's the trailer
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DNd2mSf755I

I'm going to make you watch Justin Bieber's Believe.

Note- Just saying the title is good enough. Alot people don't like Justin.

The Friendship Of The Copper Ring That Came From A Coin Machine That Was Made From The Waters Of Petit Jean Mountain: Facts and Deleted Material

Click to view the story


Like the others, this story had rewrites

I never did finish the Copper Ring saga and only made 1st part of the story. Hopefully I get to finish one day.

During the prologue, it said that the rich, smart people were fans of Spock. How would they know who Spock is in ancient Arkansas? Did they have ancient magical TVs that pick up signals from the far future?

The story of the guy who knock off Evil Dude's ring, the fisherman, and Old Guy was laughably brief
"The person wanted the ring but it fell into the Arkansas River.A few years later, a short man found it and kept it for a few months until another short guy call Old Guy steal the ring and ran away." 

Sounds like ancient Arkansas doesn't sound that ancient judging by the sentence above.


Hill Area takes place in some random location in the Ozarks.

Hill Area was originally in the Ouachita mountains but it sounds weird they journeyed far north to Harrison like that.

The short man were originally midgets. I was worried I would offend some people so they been changed to short people that were below 5 foot.

Old Guy and Kind Boy were originally Old Midget and Main Midget. I notice in the 1st draft, Main Midget/Kind Boy's name went back and forth like I couldn't make up my mind what his name was.

Old Guy and Magician talking about kicking a lizard off of Mt. Magazine is a reference to the Hobbit. Remember, the Hobbit movies weren't out and I decided to throw a reference in from the book.


Trickster and Prankster was originally called, Prankster 1 and Prankster 2. Actually it was Pricklier 1 and 2 but it was a stupid typo according to 1st draft.

Magician and Old Guy discussing about the cheap ring was expanded. I added Magician telling Old Guy he didn't use a curtain to disappear at the party or leaving the ring for his nephew.

In the early versions, Magician said he was going to Books-A-Million in Conway. I used Google and I couldn't find a Books-A-Million in that city. I changed it to a regular library.


Dark Magician learns about the ring and battles Magician but the winner of this battle was the Dark Magician.
... Kind Boy woke up and sees Magician standing there. Magician said that he was able to escape from the Dark Magician.
Kind of lame how brief I wrote the battle and later, Magician's escape. Figure I show the two Magicians using tricks to fight and than show Magician being a escape artist.

It said that they went to the Harrison Pub. Does Harrison have a pub? Is Harrison in a dry county? Well I use the internet and it said Boone County is a wet county with dry spots. I wasn't sure about the place so I rewrote it as a bar not far from the city.

Chris (Me basically) was called Swordsman or Swordguy since I couldn't make up my mind on the character name was in the 1st draft. Since all my stories have me in it, I figure I rewrite Swordguy. There is no way in Middle-Earth that I wanted to be a hobbit, so you can forget it.

Chris was suppose to join them right away in the pub but where is that cool mysterious figure we saw in the movies before he reveals himself. I added that part in.

Remember, Nintendo DS or PSP wasn't around yet. I must of been playing either Metroid Fusion or Kingdom Hearts: Chain of Memories.

There was meant to be a scene where Chris asked the four short man why they didn't take the long way to Harrison because they would of seen a weird singing man. It's a reference to the books where the one of the biggest differences to the movies I notice is that they took a very long path to get out of the Shire. The movie just simply takes them straight to Bree where they met Aragorn. I decided to not add it because it would confuse people.

The scene where Chris asked about if Kind Boy and Gardener love each other wasn't in the early versions. The scene is based on the animated version of LOTR were they acted they're very much into each other.

The scene where Halloween costume wearing people stabbed Kind Boy was at some Indian ruins. I did a Google search for Indian ruins in Arkansas. According to my search, it doesn't seem to be any between Harrison to Ft. Smith for all I know. It got changed to generic ruins of some type.

His teammates manage to save Kind Boy. Wait a minute, what happen to the Halloween freaks? Did they teleported to Ft. Smith Hospital or something?

Pretty Boy was originally called Girly Boy.

If Chris was Swordguy(Aragorn), then what was Swordguy(Boromir) called? He was called Swordguy II.

The Evil Elf King was based on Agent Smith mix with Elrond. Hugo Weaving played both characters. These stories were made when both the Matrix and Lord of the Rings were the two biggest movies in the early 2000s.
When I decided to make a parody of LOTR and I got to the council scene. I found out I was in a dilemma, so I quickly made him the Evil Elf King's twin bro who is on the good side.

The scene where Beardguy failed to destroy the ring with a toy ax wasn't in the original. It was based on a scene that happen in the movie and I recently added to the story. It's to poke fun that everyone in all these stories never bother to wield actual weapons.

The long name people believing that blizzard came from Evil Dude or Dark Magician was recently added because the story took place in late Spring/early Summer and why would there be a blizzard at this time of year. When I notice I had a plothole, I needed to patched it up.

Magician shouting Eggroll over and over to open the door was based on animated version where it sounded like Gandalf was actually saying Eggroll. The Open Sesame line was still from the early versions.

Genetically Engineered Neo-Red Coats were called Genetically Engineered Neo-Confederates. You every now and than hear about Neo Nazis, so I try to be silly and create something that would not exist in today's world. According to internet, Neo-Confederates actually do exist.

The Neo-whatevers were based on the Uruk-hai which were genetically engineered monsters. The Neo-Confederates were going to be in the cave battle but I realized in the movie, the Uruk-hai doesn't show up till the end of the movie. I had to change it to evil cave dwellers.

The fight in the cave was told briefly and Kind Boy getting stabbed wasn't in the early versions.

The scene of the men forming into a giant cyclops wasn't in the early versions. It was based on the giant cave troll from the movie and a reference to the Cyclops that Chris saw in Heroes vs. Baddies.

When the story randomly takes them to southeast Arkansas, none of the gang mention why it took them way past their destination. It also said they sailed down the Arkansas River and end up in Pine Bluff. Why are they going away from their destination?

I extended the scene of explaining what the long title people got from the Trekkies.

The area near Stuttgart was originally where routes 79 and 49 meet up. That's a very random location and I doubt most people know where that is. I guess "Rohan" was intended to be West Memphis or something but I don't remember that far back.

Swordguy just simply die with no epic on verge of death fight or everyone saying their goodbyes to him.

The Friendship Of The Copper Ring That Came From A Coin Machine That Was Made From The Waters Of Petit Jean Mountain part 2 of 2.

View part 1

The Friendship Of The Copper Ring That Came From A Coin Machine That Was Made From The Waters Of Petit Jean Mountain (TFOTCRTCFACMTWMFTWOPJM) leaves the city of Ft. Smith and travel down the Arkansas river by canoes.

 The team had to stop at one point because a dangerous blizzard has appeared. Chris asked Magician, “Why is there a blizzard at this time of day?” The magically man replied back, “Dark Magician must of done a spell that summon a deadly snowstorm to stop us. We need to get to shelter.” Beardguy came to the two and tell them, “You guys can come to my cousin’s place in the caves that's not far from here. I heard that the caves can easily take you across Arkansas.” Swordguy asked Beardguy, “Why would a bunch of people live in caves?” The hairy man looked puzzled and said, “I don’t know?”


TFOTCRTCFACMTWMFTWOPJM had arrive to the front entrance to the caves but bad news is that the opening has a giant boulder in the way. There is some writing on top of the giant rock. Magician looked at the door and shouted a bunch of gibberish. After of a few seconds of saying nonsense, he than shouted, “EGGROLL! EGGROLL!” Chris got in front of him and asked, “You got Chinese food on your mind or something?” The young man turn to the door and said, “Open Sesame.” After saying those words, the boulder rolled away from the opening. Chris looked back at Magician and told him, “You know the writing on the boulder gave us clear instructions on how to open it.”

The 22 initial people went inside and travel through the caves for a few minutes. Beardguy came to a doorway and said in a excited tone, “Here’s where my folks are.” The very long title people pass through the door and see that inside looks like a living room but no one is around. Swordguy found a written note laying on an eating table and gave to Beardguy. The hairy man read out loud, “Evil cave dwellers roam these areas, we had to leave this place.” Suddenly, everyone heard a loud noise. The large name ground leave the living room and saw a group barbaric looking man marching straight for them. Chris and Swordguy pull out their toy lightsabers and slashed anyone they come across. Beardguy used a toy ax on them. Magician pulled a bunny out of his hat and send it to attack the evil cave dwellers. The four short guys used butter knifes. Pretty Boy used his dart gun as he held a hand mirror in the other hand to see if his hair looked good.

By the time most of these cave people were killed from the long name people’s weapons. The remaining five joined hands. Their flesh was ripping apart and realigning with each other. It was like they somehow were fusing together. The cave dwellers became one being, they became a giant Cyclops. Chris roll his eyes and said, “Great, another one of theses.”

The Cyclops grabs a stalagmite off the ground jabs it into Kind Boy’s chest. Blood appeared on his shirt and he died. The others attack the beast and kill it with their weapons. After the death of the monster, they went to their dead friend. To their surprise, Kind Boy open his eyes and got up. He lifted his shirt and it showed several busted ketchup packets he kept underneath his shirt. They blocked the Cyclops' attack. Everyone was happy he survived.

They journeyed farther in the cave till they heard loud footsteps behind them. They look behind and saw a 7-foot tall man equipped with flamethrowers and flaming chains coming towards them. Magician went in front of everyone and told them, “Stand back, I take care of this guy myself!” A giant curtain appeared and it separated Magician from the others. The long title people couldn't see what was going on but all they can hear was, “Abracadabra”. The curtain fell and both the Pyro guy and Magician were gone. The four from Hill Area cried like babies over the disappearance of Magician but they didn't cry about the Pyro guy because they are jerks.


The eight people exit the caves. Swordguy, Trickier, and Prankster took a few minutes of scouting and came back to the others. According to them, they’re in Southeast Arkansas at route 65. Chris looked at Beardguy and said, “We wanted to get closer to Petit Jean, not all the way to the other side of Arkansas.” Beardguy scratches his head and said, “Ahhsorry, I thought the exit will take us closer to the mountain.”


The 22 initial people sailed upstream on the Arkansas River and stopped at Pine Bluff. They look around the city and found another Star Trek convention with most of the people dressed as Vulcans. They welcome the long name group in. The pointy-ear fanboys and fangirls listen about the gang’s adventure. They let them spend the night at the place. The next morning, they gave them equipment like a month’s supply of bread, and new set of clothes as well as new weapons. Pretty Boy got a new shiny dart gun, Trickier and Prankster got brand new butter knifes, Gardener got a bunch shoestrings that were tied together, and Kind Boy got a flashlight. The fanboys wish them luck as the group traveled north.



After traveling for a while, the big name group stop at somewhere west of Stuttgart and took a rest. Kind Boy went off on his own to look around till he saw Swordguy coming to him and said, “Hey, I want to wear that cheap ring. I think I look good on me.” Kind Boy was shocked and said, “Are you out of your mind? This piece of jewelry that will cover all of Arkansas in darkness.” Kind Boy ran off to get away from the guy who wanted to cool with his new bling-bling.

Swordguy realized how stupid he was that he forgot that the ring the short guy was carrying is an evil object. As he head back to the others, he saw Trickier and Prankster running away… from an army of Genetically Engineered Neo-Red Coats.

Swordguy pulled out his toy lightsaber and attack his enemies. As he take some of them down, one of the Neo-Red Coats fired a dart at Swordguy, hitting him into his shoulder. The man from Russellville pulled out the suction cup out of his shoulder and charge towards his enemies as he strikes down several more. Two more darts hit him in the chest. Despite the heavy pain, he continue to attack his foes until he couldn't fight anymore. As he fell back and landed on the ground, he saw Chris, Pretty Boy, and Beardguy join in and fight off the remaining Neo-Red Coats who were still there. Chris fought against their captain. The young warrior stab his kneecap with his butter knife, then he use the toy lightsaber to cut of the captain’s arm off, than stab him into the chest. To his surprise, the captain didn't look like he was in serious pain. Chris quickly pulled out and than cut his head off, finally killing enemy captain.

The three warriors gather around the dying Swordguy. He told Chris that he scared away Kind Boy because he wanted to look good with his new bling-bling and that he saw Trickier and Prankster got captured. Chris grab his hand and said “Do not worry, we will save those two and the city of Russellville.”

The loaded his body on a boat and watch it sailed upstream.



Kind Boy wanting to go out alone to Petit Jean as Gardener followed him to tag along. Prankster and Trickster are kidnapped, Magician and Swordguy are dead, and the remaining three are hunting down Neo-Red Coats. Since the group of nine has split up, it feels weird to continue the story with the title doesn't serves a propose anymore.

To Be Continued...

View Facts and Deleted Material