View Chapter 1
Everyone gather back into the room from there break to continue on to listening to Old Guy's story. When they got to the part where the WWII fighter pilots dropped off the gang, the storyteller decided to let his listeners take a break for ten minutes. Now back to the story.
The 21-initial group found horses near the airfield and used them to ride south. After half a day pass, they found a cabin by itself. They wonder if they should rest there and eat whatever food is there. Out of nowhere as it leap out of the woods was a man in bear costume. It chased down the long word gang. They hightail it and got inside the cabin and locked the doors.
They waited a few minutes for the costumed man to calm down. Magician and Young Guy looked out of the windows and see the man in costume is now chopping down wood. Our two travelers step out of the cabin and kindly introduce themselves. The man said he thought they were Neo-Red Coats at first and tried to attack him.
They all get inside the house as the man serves his guests some bowls of porridge. He told them that Neo-Red Coats are in league with the Evil Wolf Furries. He told them that there were dozens of Bear Furries in the Ozarks long ago but the Evil Wolf Furries killed and imprison many of them, just to watch them get tortured to death. He tells them that he is now the last Bear Furry in the Ozarks.
As they are done with their meal, they leave the cabin and prepare to get on their horses, the Bear Furry approach Magician. He said, "I heard rumors near the Missouri border that a Halloween freak was spotted there, maybe it's a sign this Warlock is slowly gathering the forces of evil." He went back to his cabin as the gang rode off.
They traveled south and Ozark National Forest is getting a little too thick to travel. They were in a hurry and needed to travel straight down south. They got off their horses and let them go. Magician spotted a random payphone sitting in the forest. He told the others he need to make a phone call. He reach in behind Young Guy's ear and grab two quarters that were not that there before.
The magic user press some buttons on the phone. On the other end is the voice of Earth Magician who said, "You Rrrrrang?" Magician answered back, "Yes, I reasonably heard a rumor that a Halloween Freak from the Missouri border got recruited by this Warlock." The man in dirty robes answered back, "Well I trying to follow up on clues of the Evil Warlock. We could meet up and investigate. Imagine all the loot and EXP we get for doing this?" The Magic user told his friend bye and hung up the phone.
He went to Young Guy and wish him luck, he told him he is going on a sidequest. He hopes will meet up with him again at Mount Magazine.
He was about to head off and realized something. "Oh right, we got rid of our horses. Good thing I have a backup ready." He took off his hat, reach in it, and pulled out a white horse out of his hat." He hopped on it and ride away.
Meanwhile in present day, Kind Boy grabbed his uncle's shoulder and said, "Wait a minute, I don't remember anything about this Earth Magician and Evil Warlock sidequest business in the book?" Old Guy told him, "Well you see, when I wrote the first version of that book, I didn't know what Magician was doing at the time. He told me way later on after I wrote the first version. Besides, it seems weird that our friend just randomly decide to leave like that with no explanation." Kind Boy said back, "Well alright then." He sat back in his seat and continue listening on his uncle's story.
The gang traveled inside the dense forest. They walk and walk and entire voyage felt like weeks to them. They could swore they been traveling in circles. They cursed under their breath and said they should of brought compasses.
They came across a ditch. Young Guy pointed out that there is a natural bridge of sorts made out of tree vines. One by one, they used the vines to cross. The last beardman who was very round got tired and fell asleep and fall in the ditch. The beardmen sighed and went into the mud to carry the sleeping man up.
Young Guy told the rest he's going to climb a tree and see which way is south. When he got to the top, he was surrounded by mosquitoes. He hurried and pulled out binoculars and saw the Arkansas River in the distance, meaning south is that direction.
When he got back to ground level, he saw his friends were battling a hive of spiders. The man from Hill Area pulled out his glow in the dark butter knife and stabbed several of them. After the very long name group killed every single arachnid, the traveler looked at his butter knife and said, "I shall call you Poke, for poking all those spiders".
Just then, they heard loud footsteps coming. Beardin told the others to hurry and hide. Young Guy quickly put on his ring while the others scatter and flee.
A group of Vulcan cosplayers led by Pretty Boy and Bowgirl come marching out and they aimed toy crossbows at the beardmen. They captured every single one of them expect for Young Guy.
They dragged them into a hidden city deep within the forest. They were brought to the city's mayor who is also Pretty Boy's dad. He was 5'1. Skinny to the bones, very very pale looking, was missing a few teeth, has a unibrow, got a huge mole on the side of his face.
Meanwhile in present day, everyone turn to Pretty Boy. One of them said, "Wait, you were there?" Another said, "Wait, how you come from an ugly man?". Someone else said, "You must of got your looks from your mother and only her." One mention, "Wait, you weren't in the original story."
Pretty Boy told them, "Umm...I was adopted."
Now back to the 80s.
The mayor known as Ugly Guy said, "Well darn tootin, what are you fellas doing trespassing my area for?" Beardin told back, "Why should I care? You left us to deal with the evil dragon that attack our mountain." The mayor said, "Oh yeah, that thang. Well my fellas are important to me and Ah don't want any of dem to, well you know, die. I reckon y'all are here to steal pearl necklaces from here as payback." With a flip of his hand, his fellow cosplayers grab the beardmen and they were sent into jail cells.
Within the next hour, the invisible Young Guy searched around to find the keys. As he getting ready to pass by the private theater room, he saw Ugly Guy coming out of the doors with 3D glasses on. He said as he was looking at the traveler, "Ah know your there." Young Guy was starting to freak out, wonder how he can see him. He turn his head behind him and saw Bowgirl standing there. He breathe a sigh of relief, seeing he was referring to her. The mayor said, "No really, Ah can see you, my 3D glasses can see anythang. So what are you doing here?" The traveler answered, "Umm..I was taking the quickest way to the Arkansas River and got loss on the way. Next thing I know is I'm here." The mayor took off his 3D glasses, spit a sunflower seed at his foot, and wrap his arm on the traveler's shoulders, "So your lost eh? Well welcome to our town. I finish watching 3D B-movie from the 50s. Anyways, Ah show you around the place. At least you ain't a trespasser like dem fellas Ah had an hour ago."
The next few minutes, he showed traveler several sites of town, including a port where they dump barrels of sparkling champagne down the Big Piney Creek for citizens of Knoxville. Seeing that gives Young Guy an idea.
At the end of the tour, they arrived at a door and the mayor knock on it. The door open and Pretty Boy came out. Ugly guy said, "This is muh boy here. One of the best archers in the land. I think he's into that redhead you saw earlier, eh." He jabbed his elbow into his son's stomach a few times as Pretty Boy's face turned red and said, "Dad please."
Ugly Guy left and came back with a big book. He spit a few sunflowers seeds near their shoes and opened it the book. Inside contains many photos. "Yep, this is me and fam. This one photo is little Pretty Boy in him diapers. Look at him, isn't he cute?" Pretty Boy rolled his eyes, and said quietly, "Dad please." He showed more photos, one had a group photo of a smiling kid, Ugly Guy, and a gorgeous blond woman. The young traveler began to wonder how in the world did somebody like her ended up with him. He like a negative 4 while she's way beyond the charts.
Ugly Guy showed emotion of happiness and sadness. "Sad thang muh wifey is gone. She's was babe all right. We dated in collage, got married, then nine months later, this boy popped out of her belly. He was biggest crybaby in all the Ozarks." Pretty Boy said quietly, "Dad please and why you keep mentioning about my birth. I have a hard time imaging I came from something so..so hideous and..."
Ugly Guy interrupted him, "Now that ain't no way to talk to your pa like that. You apologized right now." Pretty Boy said in anger, "Goodnight Dad". Like a typical teenager angry with his parent, he slams the door of bedroom and to prevent him from hearing him, he turns up the radio in his room and play it loudly. However instead of loud rock and roll music, it's actually loud classical music since rock and roll is way too out of character for Pretty Boy.
Unknown to the dysfunctional family, Young Guy slip from their grasp and went back to being invisible. He went through the prison and saw the jailer's keys hanging on the wall. He grabbed them and free his allies. He told them that he has an escape plan. They went down to the port and got inside empty barrels and used them to float down into the Big Piney Creek
Pretty Boy slowly approach Bowgirl from behind. As he had his hands behind his back and nervously rubbing the tip of his shoe on the ground, he said to her, "Hey, I was thinking you and I should go to my dad's private theater together and watch the Wrath of Khan and..." He stop when he notice she was staring longingly at a rock she was holding, he asked her what is that. She told him it was a gift from handsome prisoner with the 5 o'clock shadow. "It was a family runestone, a promise he made to come back to his folks. He has such care for his family. Oh, the next thing we talk about was the beautiful starlight and the moon. Oh!" If she was a cartoon character, there be heart symbols floating around her.
Pretty Boy quickly turned around and quickly walked away while mumbling and grumbling under his breath. He went ahead to check on the prison, only to notice no one is there. He came back to Bowgirl to tell her the news and they hurried outside.
At the river, the long name group was now getting attack by Neo-Red Coats. They threw their toy axes at them. Beardboy got hit in the leg by a dart. Luck is on their side when Pretty Boy and Bowgirl came and went totally OP on the enemy as they perform over the top action to slay them. However their former prisoners got away as they washed down the stream.
Meanwhile at the Missouri border, the two magic users arrived at a ruin. They see a note on a door and it said, Guys, we are meeting up at this underground cavern at Booger Hollow with this Warlock dude. P.S. Bring snacks and cola.
The long name gang washed ashore nearby Knoxville. They see a man at a motor boat. He pulled out a harp and sang, Hello Hello Hello, They call me Poet. Poet the bowman. I will asked, I will asked, what are you doing in barrels.
They told him they are on their way to Mount Magazine and they need some transportation. He sang, I will take you to my homeland in the lands known as Paris. The beardman with the star-shaped haircut asked, "You mean we are going all the way to France? No way, that's too far away." Whitebeard rolled his eyes and sign, "You idiot, he means Paris, Arkansas. How can you forget one of the mountain's neighboring cities?"
Poet sang to the gang he has trouble with the authorities, mostly due to complaints from others about his singing. He told them being spotted with bringing 14 men into his house will bring a dozen questions.
They sneak into town and hide in the house, there they met his three children. The singer gave them weapons for their quest but it was nothing but broken toys, they declined his request since it won't help him.
Late at night, they slip out of the house and tried to steal toys from a rich dude's house. They were caught and the Ugly Butler brought them to the Rich Lord. Rich Lord is asking what they are doing but the gang told him when they go up the mountain and slay the demonic serpent, they will bring money and make Rich Lord ten times rich. He let them go, gave them toys in good condition to help defend themselves, and wish them luck.
Unfortunately, not everyone in the company can go. Beardboy still hurt from the big epic battle during the barrel riding. The suction cup that hit his knee hurt him real bad. He stayed behind at Poet's house with his brother and a few others.
Meanwhile at an underground cavern at Booger Hollow. The two magic users arrived at the entrance of the cave. Earth Magician will stay behind and provide an escape when his friend leaves.
Magician travel deeper into the caverns. Without warning, a group of Neo-Red Coats and Evil Wolf Furries surrounded the man. He pulled out a few face eating bunnies out of his hat and threw them at some of the enemies. One of the wolf furries was about to lunge at the man but to his surprised, he was levitating. He dug in whatever invisible force was lifting him as saw he was on some wooden plank painted as the same color of the surrounding area. Before he could get off the platform, he saw Magician was holding a razor sharp metal ring and his own body was already halfway through. The magic user pulled down the ring, slicing the costumed man into two.
"Enough!" The man in the top hat turned and saw a man in black robes standing there. He took a hold of his clothing and pulled it off, revealing a man in armor. This shocked Magician, "I don't believe it. You were told to be destroyed centuries ago. Here you are before my eye, Evil Dude has returned."
During present time, Kind Boy sighed. Old Guy asked him what's wrong. "Ok, there were minor changes here and there as well a minor plothole filled, I can understand that but now your adding way too much. I don't remember Pretty Boy in it, let alone the girl that friendzone him with this love triangle around. Next, we had a big action scene at the river when they should simply float down the river with no resistance. We have all these subplots of Paris that was only suppose to be a few pages. Now Evil Dude is tied to the story? Are you making these up on the fly to make your story cooler or something."
Everyone in the room started asking questions. Swordguy II said did any of this really happen. Head Rancher mention this is dumb. Chris said it's silly to heard people telling made up stuff in stories. Mean Butler called Ugly Butler a ripoff despite the fact he existed since the 80s. Beardguy thinks it's cool to hear his dad battling Red Coats at the river. Pretty Boy told the rest he really was there. Eventfully, everyone calm down and resume listening to the story.
On the last day of Fall, the gang finally arrived at the mountain. The moonlight from the sky shined on a wall and revealed a key. They used it to open the secret door and entered the caverns. As the contract said, their burglar Young Guy must sneaked inside the vault and grab the Glowing Tennisball from the wretched serpent. They open the 30 foot door that leads inside for their young friend.
Poet got arrested again the 12th time this month because of complaints from his singing. Unknown to the beardmen who stayed behind at his house, the forces of evil led by the Albino's son notice this, meaning they are defenseless. He unleash a raid towards the poet's house. Poet's children grab some harps to defend themselves. They played on them to kill their enemies, only for nothing to happen. Only someone dumb enough to think that using harps as weapons was a great idea.
Thankfully the family, Pretty Boy and Bowgirl who been tracking the beardmen come in the rescue and totally pwned the enemy in over the top flashy moves. The Albino's son retreated with his forces. Bowgirl saw Beardboy injured and gave him some medicine to nurse him back to good health.
Meanwhile inside the giant bank vault that's within the caverns in Mount Magazine. Young Guy walks around towers made of dollar bills that only go up fifteen feet. He spotted some strange light down the vault. His own eyes spotted it, the glow in the dark tennis ball. He shoves it in his pocket and then heard a sound behind him. Was it the monster? He turns around and breathe a sigh and relief. It was a tiny little lizard. He picked it up by and leave the vault.
He went back to the others and told them while holding the lizard in the air. "I didn't see a monster but I.." He stopped when he his friends started screaming. They say, "EEEH! KEEP THAT BEAST AWAY FROM US!" They cornered themselves while one covered his eyes and pointed his plastic sword outward. The traveler drop it to the ground and said, "It's nothing but a harmless lizard. Don't tell me this is the beast you guys were telling me about?"
The lizard crawled towards the beardmen. They panicked and ran in different directions. One came back saying, "Don't don't worry guys, I..I will take care of it." In his hands was a bowl of nacho cheese. He closed his eyes in fear and threw the contents of the bowl towards the so called monstrous reptile. The cheese covered the entire lizard and splashed all over Young Guy. He wiped the cheese off his face and said to himself, "You got to be kidding."
He grabbed the lizard by the tail. He went outside and set it down on the edge of a cliff that was facing north to Paris. He perform a mighty kick that sent the animal skyward. He told his friends, "There, are you guys happy? I got rid of him."
He took a few minutes cleaning the nacho cheese off of himself. He was about to turn around but stopped when he heard shouts all the way from Paris. He pulled out a pair of special binoculars that can make you hear from great distances. From what he could make out he heard, "EEEH! AN EVIL BEAST! KILL IT FIRE, QUICK! OH GREAT, I ACCIDENTALLY BURNED DOWN SEVERAL HOUSES WHILE TRYING TO KILL IT!"
It sounds like citizens of Paris has Lizardphobia too. Young Guy facepalms.
Friday, April 24, 2020
Thursday, April 16, 2020
The Group's Quest From Hill Area And Then Go To Mount Magazine To Kill A Monstrous Reptile And Reclaim Their Home: Chapter 1
It's been 10 years since Evil Dude was defeated. The long title people who help defeated Evil Dude like Chris, Pretty Boy, Beardguy, Magician arrived to the village of Hill Area in the Ozarks to celebrate Kind Boy's birthday. They brought their friends like Head Rancher, Mean Butler, Dark Magician, Swordguy II, his wife Cowgirl, and their children, Swordguy III and Swordwoman I and II. They all gather and ate birthday cake. Magician brought fireworks for Prankster and Trickster to fire in the air.
At one point, Kind Boy waved his hands in the air to grab their attention. "Now we don't have to worry about copper rings and stuff, I been wanting to tell you guys about my uncle's great journey from the 1980s. I have a book he wrote down on of his epic quest but he rather tell you guys in person." Old Guy came and sat down on a chair in front of the crowd, "You sure, it's your birthday and..." Kind Boy answered, "No, by all means, I want people to hear your tale." His uncle replied, "Well alright then."
He told them long ago in the land known as Mount Magazine, there is an unknown village in the caves of the mountains. They were full of men who never shave in their life and they have Arkansas' largest bank vault. They were the proud to be the wealthiest people in all the state. Then one day, a monstrous reptile appeared. All the beardmen were scared and ran away from the mountain and got separated from their vault. They asked some Star Trek cosplayers to help them out but they say they don't want to risk their lives. All the citizens of Mount Magazine lived in exile in Blue Mountain, Arkansas. One year has passed since then and things quiet down since then.
In the land of Hill Area, back when Old Guy went by a different name, Young Guy. Our villager is resting peacefully on his lawn chair at his front yard, with a cherry-flavored sucker in his mouth. He opened his eyes when he notice someone standing near him and asked, "Do you want to go on an adventure?" Young Guy asked, "Who are you?" The man replied, "Surely you haven't forgotten me?" Suddenly his voice became loud and sinister, "I am Magician and Magician means me." Suddenly, lightning flashed in the sky even tho it was a nice sunny morning. Young Guy said, "Oh yeah, I remember. Your the traveling magician who visits our town and puts on a show and fire fireworks." He paused and just remembered something else the traveler said, "Wait, go on an adventure? No thank you, I'm comfortable right here."
He went back inside his house. Magician went to his front door and pulled out a spray can and made a symbol on it.
Late at night, Young Guy got a visitor with a beard who wanted to stay at his house and eat some food. He didn't want to be rude to his guest, so he fed him. Suddenly, another show up, and another, and before you know, he had thirteen men at his house having a feast and making a mess.
Magician came in and told him about the upcoming adventure they are going to make to Mount Magazine to reclaim their lost home. They hoping Young Guy will join them to be their burglar to steal back their most prized possession back from the evil scaly beast, a glowing tennis ball. It is a symbol of their lost town.
The beardmen had doubts of Young Guy being burglar material and started arguing but Magician did some sort of magic trick that caused the lights go dim and somehow made his voice boom loudly, "If I say he's a burglar, then a burglar he is." The beardmen stop arguing.
Young Guy was given a contract if he wants to assist them. He get 1/14th of the share of the money but it lists possible cause of death from the evil reptile. Head chopped off by it's sharp teeth, personification from staring at it's eyes, poison from it's fangs, burnt to a crisp by it's breath, etc.
Suddenly, the thirteen beardmen told the man that they are going to sing a song about their journey through the misty mountains. Young Guy was ready to listen to their folk song but to his surprise, they actually were singing in rap. He watch as they threw gang signs and lose count on the number of curse words he heard. He heard some things about taking their turf back from the dragon, to taking on the beard haters, and scoring with all the babes with facial hair.
The morning after, Magician and the 13 beardmen head off with Young Guy. It didn't seem he wanted to go at first but he was having the crave of adventure and excitement and so, he joined them in their quest. They became The Group's Quest From Hill Area And Then Go To Mount Magazine To Kill A Monstrous Reptile And Reclaim Their Home.(TGQFHAATGTMMTKAMRARTH)
Meanwhile, during present day, Beardguy stand up from his chair and said, "Oh yeah, isn't my dad part of those thirteen and..." Old Guy pointed to him , "Yes, yes, he is but I need to continue onwards the story." Beardguy sat back down to listen.
The 21 words group made camp from not far from the city of Flippin, Arkansas. Young Guy asked the gang what kind of dangers should he await. One of the eldest of the group called Whitebeard told him one of their most dangerous enemies is Neo-Red Coats. A group of people who still thinks the British should of won the Revolutionary War and do anything to return the US back to England.
Whitebeard told their new recruit a story of how their leader wage a battle against them. The leader witness a few of his family members getting beheaded by Albino Neo-Red Coat. Angry on the loss of those dear to him, he picked up a sheet of cardbored and battle the pale skin man. He manage to cut off his arm and the enemy retreat. That is the tale of Beardin Cardboardshield.
After an hour after they passed the city of Harrison, it started to rain on them and none of them carried an umbrella. One of them complained his beard is soaked. One mention they should of took the long way to Harrison and met some singers. At least the news reports said it's not raining there. One of the them asked Magician to do magic to undo the rain. Magician told them he's only a stage magician and his stuff is mainly smoke and mirrors.
They turned at the Northwest Arkansas Metro area and head south. Magician suggested they take a rest at Fort Smith because he knows some people there that will help them but Beardin said no, he has a grudge against those people. The magic user sighed and said, "Forget this." He just left the long name group and left for parts unknown.
Midway between Northwest Metro area and Fort Smith, they rested at a campfire and roast marshmallows. One of the youngest beardman and...well he doesn't even have a beard, it's more of a 5 o'clock shadow and he's was far too attractive that he looks far different from the others. Anyways, he's called Beardboy. He and his brother were telling the others that the number of horses has decrease. Most of them didn't believe them.
Young Guy slips out of camp and investigate the case of disappearing horses. He caught a trail on the ground and follow it. It lead him to a different camp and at it's place is a trio of Internet Trolls. He saw one of them sitting with his laptop that connected to a telephone wire. They sit there waiting and hearing the sound of dial-up. One of them said, "I got tired of waiting for the thing to connect to start trolling people, so I decided to troll a nearby camp and capture some of their horses. Im in thur camp, stealing thur horsies." The other two laugh at his recent prank.
The man from Hill Area looked around and saw a few horses tied to a tree with a chain. He study the chain and saw there is a lock tied to it. He saw one of the internet trolls has a purse tied to it's belt. That's must be where the keys are kept.
He sneak in from behind the troll and reach in to grab it, soon as it's fingers touch it, he suddenly heard, "Ere, 'oo are you?" Young Guy jumped back and screamed, "OH MY GOODNESS! A TALKING PURSE!" The trolls turned to their visitor, "Look at this newb, he thinking he can steal from us." Another one said, "LOL man, this newb doesn't know your purse has a electronic toy that act like a sensor to sense foreign fingerprints, like total pwnage dude." The 3rd troll said, "You know, instead of waiting to flame people online, we should totally flame this dude. LOL, like literally man but we need to hurry up before the sun comes up or we be flamed."
They try to drag him to the camp fire, they stopped midway when they heard, "Hold it!" Out of the bushes came out the 13 beardmen. They armed their plastic swords and axes at them. One of trolls told them to not come near or they will roast their friend. The beardmen groan and threw their weapons to the ground. The trolls grabbed a chain and started wrapping them to a tree. After chaining them and Young Guy up, one of the trolls said they need to get to their tent.
Before they can go their tent, they see a man with a top hat and black robes standing next to the tent, it was Magician. He grabs the entire tent and shoves it in his balled up hand, he open his hand and pops out is a small bundle of flowers. The three cyber-bullies were now freaking out and ran in circles. The sun rises and it's light touches the three men. The three men burst into flames.
Magician walks towards the imprisoned men and wiggled the chains in a few motions, suddenly the chains became loose and sink into the ground. One of the men asked why the trolls burst into flame and the magic user told them it's because they a condition that they can't come in contact with the sun.
The magic user return the tent of how it was. The fourteen search inside and found toy weapons for their quest. Young Guy gets a glow-in-the-dark butter knife. With their horses returned, they went back on the road.
The next morning, they see a man on a sleight being pulled by rabbits. He was in an outfit similar like Magicain's but it's covered in dirt and mud. This is Earth Magician. He and Magician are old friends and sometimes joined together to perform shows.
Meanwhile in present day, Old Guy notice Kind Boy was going though pages of the book of the story that Old Guy is currently telling. He mumble to himself, "I don't remember Earth Magician in the book. Where is he?" He gave up searching and resume listening to Old Guy's tale.
Earth Magician was telling his friend that alot animals been dying lately. He believed an Evil Warlock is gathering evil forces to start an army and conquer Arkansas. Suddenly, they see a small group of Neo-Red Coats and Evil Wolf Furries were chasing them down. Earth Magician said he distract them. Magician told them he knows a safe place to get away from the enemy. He lead them to a nearby cave.
The group go through the cave tunnels and see light at the end. When they got to the other side, what they see is that they were at a Star Trek convention full of Vulcan cosplayers. This must of be the safe haven in Fort Smith they been hearing about. Most of the Beardmen rolled their eyes. They have a grudge against Trekkie cosplayers for two reasons. One is because they walked away when they needed them the most when they were forced out of their mountain. The other, the Beardmen are hardcore Star Wars fans instead of Star Trek.
They sit down with the cosplayers and had a feast. They weren't happy on the choice of food since the cosplayers are vegetarians. Later on that day, the Trekkies were watching a man perform the theme of Search of Spock on a flute. The Beardman with the silly hat didn't like this and got up on stage after the flute player was done. The hatman perform a rap song that cause the audience to look at each other and wondered what they heck they just watching.
Late at night, Beardin and Magician were discussing about the map they have they leads to a secret entrance to the caves of Mount Magazine. Unfortunately, it doesn't say anything. Behind them, a man comes to them and said, "I can help with that." They turn and see an actual elf in brown robes. This is the Evil Elf King's Twin Brother. Thankfully for them, he is nothing like his brother and actually good.
Beardin handed him the map. The elf tells them that there is a hidden clue on the map. Magician without thinking blurts out, "How about we throw in the oven?" The other two give him a look, wondering if he knew that would destroy the piece of fabric.
The elf laid the map on a table. He grabbed a q-tip and rubbed it on some cut up lemons. He then used the lemon-dipped q-tip on the map. He pulls out a hairdryer out of his pocket and use it to dried up the spots where he used the lemon juice. Just then, a previously unseen message appeared. It said that the keyhole will only appear on the last light of Fall.
Next morning, the Beardmen didn't want to stay with the Trekkies any longer, they brought Young Guy and sneak out. They headed east while staying near the Ozarks. They witness two tall guys fighting over something. They ignore them and continue on. By the end of the day, they took camp inside of a cave in the Ozarks.
During around midnight, a group of Evil Cave Dwellers threw nets on the group and drag them deeper in the caves. The group struggle from their recent imprisonment. Young Guy used his glow-in-the-dark butter knife and slip out from the constraints. However his body rolled forward and fell down a deep crevasse. The remainder of the group was brought to the Cave Dweller King.
Young Guy woke up in a dark cave. He notice a cheap ugly ring made out of copper laying near him with the smell of detergent. He grab it and put it in his pocket. As he was leaving, he encounter a weird impish looking man. He said he won't allow him to leave unless they play games.
For the next few minutes, they played Battleship, Connect Four, Hungry Hungry Hippos, and Twister. The impish man loses every single one of them. As part of the deal, he told Young Guy where the exit is.
As the weird mutant went back his spot, he notice his ring is gone. He screamed, "NOOO! HE STOLE IT! I WON'T LOOK GOOD WITHOUT MY BLING-BLING!"
Meanwhile, the Cave Dwellers search the Beardmen's weapons. They looked at one plastic sword and freaked out. The Cave Dweller King said it is the Cave Dweller Cleaver. Legend said this toy has slay hundreds of their people in the past.
Out of nowhere, smoked appeared in front of everyone. As it died down, there stands Magician. He asked the Cave Dwellers if they want to see a magic show. All the evil ones raised their hands up in the air and shouted yes. The man in black robes did several tricks before their eyes like disappear coins, card tricks, and ribbons turned into flowers. He pulled out a box and asked Cave Dweller King if he wants to volunteer. He gleefully agrees. He laid down in a box as magic user closes it. He pulls out a saw and cuts the box in three pieces and separated it. Just then, blood oozed from the end pieces.
One of the Dwellers said, "Wait a minute, that not a magic trick. He really did cut our king into three pieces." Magician gave an awkward smile and said, "Time to go." He threw a smoke bomb into the ground and vanish.
The very next minute, the group are released and running and fighting the Cave Dwellers on the way. They sliced open their guts and beheaded many of them. After killing many of them, they found the exit of the caves. Ironically, Young Guy was there as well.
During present time, Kind Boy mumbled to himself he doesn't remember the story being gory. Back to the story.
As they were leaving the cave, they were now attacked by an army of Neo-Red Coats and men in wolf outfits. The group climb nearby trees to get away from them. Magician threw out some flaming pine cones at their opponents and killed a few Furries. Beardin Cardboardshield saw the man who was leading the group. It was the Albino that killed members of his family. He was believed to be dead after their last fight but it seems he is very alive, now sporting a robotic arm to replace his cut off limb.
Just then, a gang of War World II fighter planes came down and fired several Nerf bullets at the evil ones. They scattered to avoid the attack. They briefly landed down near the long title gang and the gang hopped in them. The planes then took off and flew south.
They landed near an hidden airfield not far from the city of Jasper. As they got off, Young Guy asked, "Why not take us all the way to Mount Magazine?" Pretty soon, he heard a dozen excuses from airmen like they don't have the gas, one of them is sick, they are not a taxi service, there is a force field around the mountain till someone gets rid of the lizard beast. The traveler rolled his eyes.
Seems going through caves took them way up north in the Ozarks. They have to go south again to hopefully get to the mountain by the end of Fall.
At one point, Kind Boy waved his hands in the air to grab their attention. "Now we don't have to worry about copper rings and stuff, I been wanting to tell you guys about my uncle's great journey from the 1980s. I have a book he wrote down on of his epic quest but he rather tell you guys in person." Old Guy came and sat down on a chair in front of the crowd, "You sure, it's your birthday and..." Kind Boy answered, "No, by all means, I want people to hear your tale." His uncle replied, "Well alright then."
He told them long ago in the land known as Mount Magazine, there is an unknown village in the caves of the mountains. They were full of men who never shave in their life and they have Arkansas' largest bank vault. They were the proud to be the wealthiest people in all the state. Then one day, a monstrous reptile appeared. All the beardmen were scared and ran away from the mountain and got separated from their vault. They asked some Star Trek cosplayers to help them out but they say they don't want to risk their lives. All the citizens of Mount Magazine lived in exile in Blue Mountain, Arkansas. One year has passed since then and things quiet down since then.
In the land of Hill Area, back when Old Guy went by a different name, Young Guy. Our villager is resting peacefully on his lawn chair at his front yard, with a cherry-flavored sucker in his mouth. He opened his eyes when he notice someone standing near him and asked, "Do you want to go on an adventure?" Young Guy asked, "Who are you?" The man replied, "Surely you haven't forgotten me?" Suddenly his voice became loud and sinister, "I am Magician and Magician means me." Suddenly, lightning flashed in the sky even tho it was a nice sunny morning. Young Guy said, "Oh yeah, I remember. Your the traveling magician who visits our town and puts on a show and fire fireworks." He paused and just remembered something else the traveler said, "Wait, go on an adventure? No thank you, I'm comfortable right here."
He went back inside his house. Magician went to his front door and pulled out a spray can and made a symbol on it.
Late at night, Young Guy got a visitor with a beard who wanted to stay at his house and eat some food. He didn't want to be rude to his guest, so he fed him. Suddenly, another show up, and another, and before you know, he had thirteen men at his house having a feast and making a mess.
Magician came in and told him about the upcoming adventure they are going to make to Mount Magazine to reclaim their lost home. They hoping Young Guy will join them to be their burglar to steal back their most prized possession back from the evil scaly beast, a glowing tennis ball. It is a symbol of their lost town.
The beardmen had doubts of Young Guy being burglar material and started arguing but Magician did some sort of magic trick that caused the lights go dim and somehow made his voice boom loudly, "If I say he's a burglar, then a burglar he is." The beardmen stop arguing.
Young Guy was given a contract if he wants to assist them. He get 1/14th of the share of the money but it lists possible cause of death from the evil reptile. Head chopped off by it's sharp teeth, personification from staring at it's eyes, poison from it's fangs, burnt to a crisp by it's breath, etc.
Suddenly, the thirteen beardmen told the man that they are going to sing a song about their journey through the misty mountains. Young Guy was ready to listen to their folk song but to his surprise, they actually were singing in rap. He watch as they threw gang signs and lose count on the number of curse words he heard. He heard some things about taking their turf back from the dragon, to taking on the beard haters, and scoring with all the babes with facial hair.
The morning after, Magician and the 13 beardmen head off with Young Guy. It didn't seem he wanted to go at first but he was having the crave of adventure and excitement and so, he joined them in their quest. They became The Group's Quest From Hill Area And Then Go To Mount Magazine To Kill A Monstrous Reptile And Reclaim Their Home.(TGQFHAATGTMMTKAMRARTH)
Meanwhile, during present day, Beardguy stand up from his chair and said, "Oh yeah, isn't my dad part of those thirteen and..." Old Guy pointed to him , "Yes, yes, he is but I need to continue onwards the story." Beardguy sat back down to listen.
The 21 words group made camp from not far from the city of Flippin, Arkansas. Young Guy asked the gang what kind of dangers should he await. One of the eldest of the group called Whitebeard told him one of their most dangerous enemies is Neo-Red Coats. A group of people who still thinks the British should of won the Revolutionary War and do anything to return the US back to England.
Whitebeard told their new recruit a story of how their leader wage a battle against them. The leader witness a few of his family members getting beheaded by Albino Neo-Red Coat. Angry on the loss of those dear to him, he picked up a sheet of cardbored and battle the pale skin man. He manage to cut off his arm and the enemy retreat. That is the tale of Beardin Cardboardshield.
After an hour after they passed the city of Harrison, it started to rain on them and none of them carried an umbrella. One of them complained his beard is soaked. One mention they should of took the long way to Harrison and met some singers. At least the news reports said it's not raining there. One of the them asked Magician to do magic to undo the rain. Magician told them he's only a stage magician and his stuff is mainly smoke and mirrors.
They turned at the Northwest Arkansas Metro area and head south. Magician suggested they take a rest at Fort Smith because he knows some people there that will help them but Beardin said no, he has a grudge against those people. The magic user sighed and said, "Forget this." He just left the long name group and left for parts unknown.
Midway between Northwest Metro area and Fort Smith, they rested at a campfire and roast marshmallows. One of the youngest beardman and...well he doesn't even have a beard, it's more of a 5 o'clock shadow and he's was far too attractive that he looks far different from the others. Anyways, he's called Beardboy. He and his brother were telling the others that the number of horses has decrease. Most of them didn't believe them.
Young Guy slips out of camp and investigate the case of disappearing horses. He caught a trail on the ground and follow it. It lead him to a different camp and at it's place is a trio of Internet Trolls. He saw one of them sitting with his laptop that connected to a telephone wire. They sit there waiting and hearing the sound of dial-up. One of them said, "I got tired of waiting for the thing to connect to start trolling people, so I decided to troll a nearby camp and capture some of their horses. Im in thur camp, stealing thur horsies." The other two laugh at his recent prank.
The man from Hill Area looked around and saw a few horses tied to a tree with a chain. He study the chain and saw there is a lock tied to it. He saw one of the internet trolls has a purse tied to it's belt. That's must be where the keys are kept.
He sneak in from behind the troll and reach in to grab it, soon as it's fingers touch it, he suddenly heard, "Ere, 'oo are you?" Young Guy jumped back and screamed, "OH MY GOODNESS! A TALKING PURSE!" The trolls turned to their visitor, "Look at this newb, he thinking he can steal from us." Another one said, "LOL man, this newb doesn't know your purse has a electronic toy that act like a sensor to sense foreign fingerprints, like total pwnage dude." The 3rd troll said, "You know, instead of waiting to flame people online, we should totally flame this dude. LOL, like literally man but we need to hurry up before the sun comes up or we be flamed."
They try to drag him to the camp fire, they stopped midway when they heard, "Hold it!" Out of the bushes came out the 13 beardmen. They armed their plastic swords and axes at them. One of trolls told them to not come near or they will roast their friend. The beardmen groan and threw their weapons to the ground. The trolls grabbed a chain and started wrapping them to a tree. After chaining them and Young Guy up, one of the trolls said they need to get to their tent.
Before they can go their tent, they see a man with a top hat and black robes standing next to the tent, it was Magician. He grabs the entire tent and shoves it in his balled up hand, he open his hand and pops out is a small bundle of flowers. The three cyber-bullies were now freaking out and ran in circles. The sun rises and it's light touches the three men. The three men burst into flames.
Magician walks towards the imprisoned men and wiggled the chains in a few motions, suddenly the chains became loose and sink into the ground. One of the men asked why the trolls burst into flame and the magic user told them it's because they a condition that they can't come in contact with the sun.
The magic user return the tent of how it was. The fourteen search inside and found toy weapons for their quest. Young Guy gets a glow-in-the-dark butter knife. With their horses returned, they went back on the road.
The next morning, they see a man on a sleight being pulled by rabbits. He was in an outfit similar like Magicain's but it's covered in dirt and mud. This is Earth Magician. He and Magician are old friends and sometimes joined together to perform shows.
Meanwhile in present day, Old Guy notice Kind Boy was going though pages of the book of the story that Old Guy is currently telling. He mumble to himself, "I don't remember Earth Magician in the book. Where is he?" He gave up searching and resume listening to Old Guy's tale.
Earth Magician was telling his friend that alot animals been dying lately. He believed an Evil Warlock is gathering evil forces to start an army and conquer Arkansas. Suddenly, they see a small group of Neo-Red Coats and Evil Wolf Furries were chasing them down. Earth Magician said he distract them. Magician told them he knows a safe place to get away from the enemy. He lead them to a nearby cave.
The group go through the cave tunnels and see light at the end. When they got to the other side, what they see is that they were at a Star Trek convention full of Vulcan cosplayers. This must of be the safe haven in Fort Smith they been hearing about. Most of the Beardmen rolled their eyes. They have a grudge against Trekkie cosplayers for two reasons. One is because they walked away when they needed them the most when they were forced out of their mountain. The other, the Beardmen are hardcore Star Wars fans instead of Star Trek.
They sit down with the cosplayers and had a feast. They weren't happy on the choice of food since the cosplayers are vegetarians. Later on that day, the Trekkies were watching a man perform the theme of Search of Spock on a flute. The Beardman with the silly hat didn't like this and got up on stage after the flute player was done. The hatman perform a rap song that cause the audience to look at each other and wondered what they heck they just watching.
Late at night, Beardin and Magician were discussing about the map they have they leads to a secret entrance to the caves of Mount Magazine. Unfortunately, it doesn't say anything. Behind them, a man comes to them and said, "I can help with that." They turn and see an actual elf in brown robes. This is the Evil Elf King's Twin Brother. Thankfully for them, he is nothing like his brother and actually good.
Beardin handed him the map. The elf tells them that there is a hidden clue on the map. Magician without thinking blurts out, "How about we throw in the oven?" The other two give him a look, wondering if he knew that would destroy the piece of fabric.
The elf laid the map on a table. He grabbed a q-tip and rubbed it on some cut up lemons. He then used the lemon-dipped q-tip on the map. He pulls out a hairdryer out of his pocket and use it to dried up the spots where he used the lemon juice. Just then, a previously unseen message appeared. It said that the keyhole will only appear on the last light of Fall.
Next morning, the Beardmen didn't want to stay with the Trekkies any longer, they brought Young Guy and sneak out. They headed east while staying near the Ozarks. They witness two tall guys fighting over something. They ignore them and continue on. By the end of the day, they took camp inside of a cave in the Ozarks.
During around midnight, a group of Evil Cave Dwellers threw nets on the group and drag them deeper in the caves. The group struggle from their recent imprisonment. Young Guy used his glow-in-the-dark butter knife and slip out from the constraints. However his body rolled forward and fell down a deep crevasse. The remainder of the group was brought to the Cave Dweller King.
Young Guy woke up in a dark cave. He notice a cheap ugly ring made out of copper laying near him with the smell of detergent. He grab it and put it in his pocket. As he was leaving, he encounter a weird impish looking man. He said he won't allow him to leave unless they play games.
For the next few minutes, they played Battleship, Connect Four, Hungry Hungry Hippos, and Twister. The impish man loses every single one of them. As part of the deal, he told Young Guy where the exit is.
As the weird mutant went back his spot, he notice his ring is gone. He screamed, "NOOO! HE STOLE IT! I WON'T LOOK GOOD WITHOUT MY BLING-BLING!"
Meanwhile, the Cave Dwellers search the Beardmen's weapons. They looked at one plastic sword and freaked out. The Cave Dweller King said it is the Cave Dweller Cleaver. Legend said this toy has slay hundreds of their people in the past.
Out of nowhere, smoked appeared in front of everyone. As it died down, there stands Magician. He asked the Cave Dwellers if they want to see a magic show. All the evil ones raised their hands up in the air and shouted yes. The man in black robes did several tricks before their eyes like disappear coins, card tricks, and ribbons turned into flowers. He pulled out a box and asked Cave Dweller King if he wants to volunteer. He gleefully agrees. He laid down in a box as magic user closes it. He pulls out a saw and cuts the box in three pieces and separated it. Just then, blood oozed from the end pieces.
One of the Dwellers said, "Wait a minute, that not a magic trick. He really did cut our king into three pieces." Magician gave an awkward smile and said, "Time to go." He threw a smoke bomb into the ground and vanish.
The very next minute, the group are released and running and fighting the Cave Dwellers on the way. They sliced open their guts and beheaded many of them. After killing many of them, they found the exit of the caves. Ironically, Young Guy was there as well.
During present time, Kind Boy mumbled to himself he doesn't remember the story being gory. Back to the story.
As they were leaving the cave, they were now attacked by an army of Neo-Red Coats and men in wolf outfits. The group climb nearby trees to get away from them. Magician threw out some flaming pine cones at their opponents and killed a few Furries. Beardin Cardboardshield saw the man who was leading the group. It was the Albino that killed members of his family. He was believed to be dead after their last fight but it seems he is very alive, now sporting a robotic arm to replace his cut off limb.
Just then, a gang of War World II fighter planes came down and fired several Nerf bullets at the evil ones. They scattered to avoid the attack. They briefly landed down near the long title gang and the gang hopped in them. The planes then took off and flew south.
They landed near an hidden airfield not far from the city of Jasper. As they got off, Young Guy asked, "Why not take us all the way to Mount Magazine?" Pretty soon, he heard a dozen excuses from airmen like they don't have the gas, one of them is sick, they are not a taxi service, there is a force field around the mountain till someone gets rid of the lizard beast. The traveler rolled his eyes.
Seems going through caves took them way up north in the Ozarks. They have to go south again to hopefully get to the mountain by the end of Fall.
Thursday, March 26, 2020
To Stop the Mississippi River Tour: Behind the scenes and other facts
Once upon a time, I was requested to write a parody of Magic Mike. People in the past like to tease me on watching this. A movie that is full of eye candy that straight males don't want to watch.
The thing is I was setting up a parody of Jet Li's Hero but I was requested to write the 1st Magic Mike movie. I figure go ahead and set it up as a teaser of the Hero parody by making Big Richard/Terminator as one of the alternate universe bounty hunter that's connected to that story and appears in the Magic Mike story.
Normally I write these silly stories based on big action movies, not drama, so I had to write a ton of action scenes on a story that's based on a drama movie.
During the writing of the 2nd story, I notice I don't have enought characters to carry the story, so I had to resurrect certain ones(Big Richard, Jungle King).
A ton of characters are actually based on the cast of the 2nd Magic Mike movie.
The Cajun is based on Channing Tatum's Magic Mike. Since most of the silly stories I write is where the main character based on your's truly and put in the world of the parody of the movie. I wrote myself getting into an undercover mission without knowing what it was(Stripping). However my character didn't go with it and pull out his Nerf gun and fired everything and ask questions.
In the 2nd story, I figure just make my character a original character while Channing Tatum's Magic Mike will actually show up this time. Him being The Cajun is based on him when he was going to play the popular X-Men member, Gambit. His character is a mutant from New Orleans. His power is send kinetic energy into things he touches, which cause them to explode. His favorite to use is his deck of cards.
For pass few years, Channing Tatum was going to starred in an X-Men spinoff movie with him as the lead. However the movie was still in early production and it went through three different directors and the released date kept being pushed back. Once Disney's acquisition of Fox happened and Marvel Studios(under Disney) wanted back their rights to use X-Men characters, the movie was shut down all together.
Big Richard/The Terminator is based on Joe Manganiello's Big Dick Richie. When I wrote the 1st story, he was reported to play the popular Deathstoke in Ben Affleck's upcoming solo Batman movie. However Affleck is step down and now Robert Pattinson playing him(Edward from the sparkling vampire movies). Manganiello may or may not be in the upcoming movie since alot stuff changed since than. So far, he only appeared in a post-credits scene on Justice League.
Deathstroke the Terminator, real name Slade Wilson is a deadly mercenary who is a major foe to the Teen Titans, Batman, and Green Arrow. He first appeared four years before the Schwarzenegger movies came around, so him being called the Terminator isn't based on the robots. Deadpool started out as Marvel's ripoff of him before later writers rewrote him into the goofy 4th-wall breaking we know today.
Due to killing off Big Richard, I had to bring him back somehow. My original story was originally meant to be a one off stand alone and didn't intend to bring him back. Deathstoke does have a healing factor but I don't think he heals from decapitation. Him supposedly coming back from making a deal with a demon called Tri-something was a reference to how Slade came back from the dead at one point. Trigon is sort of more or less the Titans version of the devil. I was going to make it how Terminator came back but at 1st, it seems way too out there with demons, but then I realized alot my stories did had demons and ancient evils. However the decision to rewrite the demonic resurrection to a fantasy made up by a guy high on drugs was because I didn't want people think I left open a plot thread of a Trigon-like demon coming in a sequel that I had no intention of writing.
His Aussie accent was based on Manu Bennett's version of the character.
In the 1st story, the big showdown between my and his character was based on the one of the most epic boss fights of video game history from Batman: Arkham Origins. In this story, I based the showdown in the city of Dumas from Batman: Arkham Knight where Batman gets in his Batmobile and blast a tons of tanks, including Slade's supertank. Soon we get a cutscene of the merc jumping out of the tank and Batman knocks him out in one blow. Very anti-climatic after we had the most epic boss fights of all time.
Water Witch is based on Magic Mike's love interest, Zoe. The actress also played Mera who is Aquaman's love interest who later ended up as his wife. Mera has the ability to control and manipulate water.
Jungle King/Crell/Rice Wine/The Grater is based on Kevin Nash's Tarzan. The actor/wrestler also played in the 2nd Ninja Turtles live-action movie as Super Shredder. At the climax of the movie, Shredder drank a canister of ooze offscrene and it turned him from a man of average height to a beefy 7-foot man with a major wardrobe change. In less in a minute, he anti-climatically killed himself by knocking down a pillar that causes a cave-in.
Shredder's Super form only showed up in the beat 'em up 90s games as the final boss where he's really hard to fight. He finally made a reappearance decades later at the end of the 2012 series where Shredder mutates himself and turns him into a grotesque appearance that's very similar of how I mention him within the story. Unlike the movie, Super Shredder was actually hard to take down.
Him being in a love triangle and wanting to kill the Cajun was based on Shredder's love triangle with Yoshi and Tang Shen. The final fight between me and Grater's is similar to Leo's final fight with the giant monster.
In the 2nd movie, the gang gets together and go touring up on the Pacific in their Fro-yo truck. It crashed due people getting high. I didn't want to use your regular drugs you hear on the news all the time, I wanted to use one that's not commonly used and sounds downright silly, so smoking tide pods it is. I accidentally made up the thing of people smoking tide pods because I was joking around one day and talking about teens today are trying to attract females with their manbuns, how they are the coolest dude ever with their fidget spinners, or how they enjoy smoking a tide pod. I then realized what I said, it's teens that are foolishly eating the things, not smoking them. However I google it recently and it turns out that you can smoke them(I wound't recommend it). From what I read, I don't think you can get high. You could say the driver in the story was smoking things beyond a tide pod and the other strippers only notice the tide pod.
I chose the city of Dumas for the big tank battle because it is arguably the one of the biggest cities between Pine Bluff and Lake Village in Southeast Arkansas. I wanted to have a big battle somewhere that kinda a city. Most of the other places are really really small, you drive by for a minute and your out of the town. I can't imagine having a big tank battle in a small town.
The whole thing about people coming back from the dead through magic worm clones is based on the original black and white Ninja Turtles comics. Every great hero in fiction has an iconic arch-nemesis. Like Batman's Joker, Superman's Lex Luthor, Spider-Man's Green Goblin, Link's Ganon, Optimus' Megatron, and the Turtles have Shredder. Well guess what, in the end of the very 1st ever issue of the Ninja Turtles comics during a showdown, the Shredder is beaten, bruised, stabbed, and gets blow up to pieces. He is deader than dead.
Shredder did ultimately came back from the dead a few years later. It was revealed that the Foot scientists and mystics used worms to find Shredder's remains and later, the worms become a clone of Shredder. Then he died again after revealing his resurrection. All the other cartoons, movies, and other comics made Shredder a major recurring major villain than a one off villain who made a come back years later.
I originally wanted to give both Grater and Terminator two different explanations how how they came back but I ultimately brought both back through magic worm clone things.
I originally wanted my character to fight Grater, than Cajun and Water Witch but I decided to have a love triangle storyline and have Grater kill Cajun and ended up at the final foe in the story.
Jada Pinkett Smith was in the 2nd Magic Mike movie as the gang's ride to their final show and I made a reference to Jada's other role from the Matrix Trilogy. Way back then, I wrote a another silly parody of those movies and her character was briefly seen as I fell on her car and saw her for a second.
I planned to have somebody based on Donald Glover's character where he also gives the gang a ride. I would also make references of young Lando. In the end, I decided to scrap the entire thing.
I chose the final town where the strippers would perform at Tomato, Arkansas, simply because I like the name of the town. It is an unincorporated area and most people don't know it exists. Plus most of the story takes place on the Arkansas side of the Mississippi River and I needed to find a place to end the story.
The thing is I was setting up a parody of Jet Li's Hero but I was requested to write the 1st Magic Mike movie. I figure go ahead and set it up as a teaser of the Hero parody by making Big Richard/Terminator as one of the alternate universe bounty hunter that's connected to that story and appears in the Magic Mike story.
Normally I write these silly stories based on big action movies, not drama, so I had to write a ton of action scenes on a story that's based on a drama movie.
During the writing of the 2nd story, I notice I don't have enought characters to carry the story, so I had to resurrect certain ones(Big Richard, Jungle King).
A ton of characters are actually based on the cast of the 2nd Magic Mike movie.
The Cajun is based on Channing Tatum's Magic Mike. Since most of the silly stories I write is where the main character based on your's truly and put in the world of the parody of the movie. I wrote myself getting into an undercover mission without knowing what it was(Stripping). However my character didn't go with it and pull out his Nerf gun and fired everything and ask questions.
In the 2nd story, I figure just make my character a original character while Channing Tatum's Magic Mike will actually show up this time. Him being The Cajun is based on him when he was going to play the popular X-Men member, Gambit. His character is a mutant from New Orleans. His power is send kinetic energy into things he touches, which cause them to explode. His favorite to use is his deck of cards.
For pass few years, Channing Tatum was going to starred in an X-Men spinoff movie with him as the lead. However the movie was still in early production and it went through three different directors and the released date kept being pushed back. Once Disney's acquisition of Fox happened and Marvel Studios(under Disney) wanted back their rights to use X-Men characters, the movie was shut down all together.
Big Richard/The Terminator is based on Joe Manganiello's Big Dick Richie. When I wrote the 1st story, he was reported to play the popular Deathstoke in Ben Affleck's upcoming solo Batman movie. However Affleck is step down and now Robert Pattinson playing him(Edward from the sparkling vampire movies). Manganiello may or may not be in the upcoming movie since alot stuff changed since than. So far, he only appeared in a post-credits scene on Justice League.
Deathstroke the Terminator, real name Slade Wilson is a deadly mercenary who is a major foe to the Teen Titans, Batman, and Green Arrow. He first appeared four years before the Schwarzenegger movies came around, so him being called the Terminator isn't based on the robots. Deadpool started out as Marvel's ripoff of him before later writers rewrote him into the goofy 4th-wall breaking we know today.
Due to killing off Big Richard, I had to bring him back somehow. My original story was originally meant to be a one off stand alone and didn't intend to bring him back. Deathstoke does have a healing factor but I don't think he heals from decapitation. Him supposedly coming back from making a deal with a demon called Tri-something was a reference to how Slade came back from the dead at one point. Trigon is sort of more or less the Titans version of the devil. I was going to make it how Terminator came back but at 1st, it seems way too out there with demons, but then I realized alot my stories did had demons and ancient evils. However the decision to rewrite the demonic resurrection to a fantasy made up by a guy high on drugs was because I didn't want people think I left open a plot thread of a Trigon-like demon coming in a sequel that I had no intention of writing.
His Aussie accent was based on Manu Bennett's version of the character.
In the 1st story, the big showdown between my and his character was based on the one of the most epic boss fights of video game history from Batman: Arkham Origins. In this story, I based the showdown in the city of Dumas from Batman: Arkham Knight where Batman gets in his Batmobile and blast a tons of tanks, including Slade's supertank. Soon we get a cutscene of the merc jumping out of the tank and Batman knocks him out in one blow. Very anti-climatic after we had the most epic boss fights of all time.
Water Witch is based on Magic Mike's love interest, Zoe. The actress also played Mera who is Aquaman's love interest who later ended up as his wife. Mera has the ability to control and manipulate water.
Jungle King/Crell/Rice Wine/The Grater is based on Kevin Nash's Tarzan. The actor/wrestler also played in the 2nd Ninja Turtles live-action movie as Super Shredder. At the climax of the movie, Shredder drank a canister of ooze offscrene and it turned him from a man of average height to a beefy 7-foot man with a major wardrobe change. In less in a minute, he anti-climatically killed himself by knocking down a pillar that causes a cave-in.
Shredder's Super form only showed up in the beat 'em up 90s games as the final boss where he's really hard to fight. He finally made a reappearance decades later at the end of the 2012 series where Shredder mutates himself and turns him into a grotesque appearance that's very similar of how I mention him within the story. Unlike the movie, Super Shredder was actually hard to take down.
Him being in a love triangle and wanting to kill the Cajun was based on Shredder's love triangle with Yoshi and Tang Shen. The final fight between me and Grater's is similar to Leo's final fight with the giant monster.
In the 2nd movie, the gang gets together and go touring up on the Pacific in their Fro-yo truck. It crashed due people getting high. I didn't want to use your regular drugs you hear on the news all the time, I wanted to use one that's not commonly used and sounds downright silly, so smoking tide pods it is. I accidentally made up the thing of people smoking tide pods because I was joking around one day and talking about teens today are trying to attract females with their manbuns, how they are the coolest dude ever with their fidget spinners, or how they enjoy smoking a tide pod. I then realized what I said, it's teens that are foolishly eating the things, not smoking them. However I google it recently and it turns out that you can smoke them(I wound't recommend it). From what I read, I don't think you can get high. You could say the driver in the story was smoking things beyond a tide pod and the other strippers only notice the tide pod.
I chose the city of Dumas for the big tank battle because it is arguably the one of the biggest cities between Pine Bluff and Lake Village in Southeast Arkansas. I wanted to have a big battle somewhere that kinda a city. Most of the other places are really really small, you drive by for a minute and your out of the town. I can't imagine having a big tank battle in a small town.
The whole thing about people coming back from the dead through magic worm clones is based on the original black and white Ninja Turtles comics. Every great hero in fiction has an iconic arch-nemesis. Like Batman's Joker, Superman's Lex Luthor, Spider-Man's Green Goblin, Link's Ganon, Optimus' Megatron, and the Turtles have Shredder. Well guess what, in the end of the very 1st ever issue of the Ninja Turtles comics during a showdown, the Shredder is beaten, bruised, stabbed, and gets blow up to pieces. He is deader than dead.
Shredder did ultimately came back from the dead a few years later. It was revealed that the Foot scientists and mystics used worms to find Shredder's remains and later, the worms become a clone of Shredder. Then he died again after revealing his resurrection. All the other cartoons, movies, and other comics made Shredder a major recurring major villain than a one off villain who made a come back years later.
I originally wanted to give both Grater and Terminator two different explanations how how they came back but I ultimately brought both back through magic worm clone things.
I originally wanted my character to fight Grater, than Cajun and Water Witch but I decided to have a love triangle storyline and have Grater kill Cajun and ended up at the final foe in the story.
Jada Pinkett Smith was in the 2nd Magic Mike movie as the gang's ride to their final show and I made a reference to Jada's other role from the Matrix Trilogy. Way back then, I wrote a another silly parody of those movies and her character was briefly seen as I fell on her car and saw her for a second.
I planned to have somebody based on Donald Glover's character where he also gives the gang a ride. I would also make references of young Lando. In the end, I decided to scrap the entire thing.
I chose the final town where the strippers would perform at Tomato, Arkansas, simply because I like the name of the town. It is an unincorporated area and most people don't know it exists. Plus most of the story takes place on the Arkansas side of the Mississippi River and I needed to find a place to end the story.
Thursday, March 19, 2020
To Stop the Mississippi River Tour chapter 3
View Chapter 2
Water Witch used her powers to turn the entire Mississippi from my view into a giant tidal wave and ready to drop it down.
As quickly as I can, I ran away from it. I pulled out my phone on my pocket and clicked on an app. I press on some buttons and then hang up the phone. The tidal wave was getting nearer and nearer as I felt heavy rain starting to pour to me. I thought to myself, Please show yourself.
I looked towards the west and I saw it charging towards me. It was my remote control jetpack that's programmed to fly to my location when I used it's app. I grabbed on the devise and buckle in as the rain water was getting heaver and heaver. Wasting no time, I flew out of there.
Cajan saw this and told the sorceress, "Chere, sent me to the nearby warehouse. Maybe I can destroy his jetpack from there." She waved her hand and the bubble that's protecting them from the tidal wave was separated into two like watching two cells divide. His bubble was sent flying to it's location. She now turns to my location and used her flying bubble to hover towards me.
She turned the falling water into giant hands of water and reach out to grab me. I press a button on the side of the jetpack and it open two compartments, revealing two Nerf guns attach to it. I grabbed and turn towards her and fired at the giant hands. It causes the hands to scattered to pieces. I then fired my guns to her but her water shield block my bullets. Seems trying to kill her with a toy gun was a dumb and stupid idea.
She then used the destroyed hands to reform and turn into four giant 20-foot waterballs and threw them at me. I used my gizmo to fly away from the attacks. I fired my guns to destroy the last waterball.
I thought to myself, my guns won't get pass her shield, I got to do something more powerful. I came up with and idea and rocketed toward the ground. She threw several sharks made of water at me. I got to the ground and quickly planted a dodgeball to the surface. I flew away just before her attacks hit. I did the same thing again and planted another dodgeball to the ground while dodging her water kraken attacks. I did the same thing again as I landed in a area full of warehouses and planted my last dodgeball.
Suddenly, I saw a pool noodle coming to my face. I flew back and saw Cajun before me. He used his stick to the ground and sent an explosion to the end tip that sent him airborne. The man from the Bayou State was over my head and threw several punches at me. I block his punches, but some of them hit the jetpack, I guessing he missed. I threw a midair roundhouse to his face and he was knocked to the ground.
I flew back up and saw Water Witch up in the air, coming to me. I press at a small device and threw it at her location. She said, "What is thi..." Suddenly she saw three dodgeballs that I planted into the ground earlier were now flying towards her. She trying to moved out of the way but one of the three dodgeballs hit the side of her bubble and caused it to shattered to pieces. Before she could react to anything what's happening. She then saw me and I threw a fist into her face.
The punch sent her flying downwards to the empty warehouse area. She used her powers to create another water bubble to soften her fall right before she crashed into the ground.
Cajun ran to his grounded beloved and ran to her side. She seems weak from the fall, "Cajun, I too weak to use my powers again." He grabbed her hand and said, "Cajun, always love you ma chere." He gave her a kiss. He looked up to the air, "Don't worry, his days are up."
With her down, I now planned to defeat the swamp boy and...I now feel something behind my back that's building up energy. I looked at my jetpack and saw sticky playing cards attach to my jetpack. He must of put them there when his punches seem like they miss my face. I can see that energy was building up in the cards themselves.
I flew downward and pressed a button on the jetpack that ejected a toy lightsaber from it. I grabbed it and quickly unbuckle the machine. As I fall closer and closer to the ground, I can hear behind me that the machine burst into flames. With no time to waste, I used my toy lightsaber to stab on the edge of the warehouse building to prevent me from hitting the ground.
I pulled myself up the roof and watch as my falling jetpack crashed into the side of the one of the buildings and it started a fire. The flames spread around the four walls of the building and started reach to the next warehouse building and the next, soon in engulfed all the floor of the entire area. Thankfully it didn't up walls and only stayed on ground level.
There he was, The Cajun coming straight at me, full of rage. He swing his weapon at me but I used my toy lightsaber to block it's blows. Our weapons locked. The man from the Bayou State used his free hand to reach into his pocket and pulled out some cards. He sends kinetic energy into them and they started to glow. Not wanting him to plant another bomb on me like he did with my jetpack, I headbutted him. His grip on the pool noodle loosen and release from the weapons lock. I did a swing with my tool and sliced through one of his glowing eyes. He screamed in pain and lose control, not paying attention to his cards. I ran back as the cards exploded in front of him.
He was sent flying back from his own blast. His front area has some some fires on it, he quickly rolled left and right a few times just to shake the fire off. You can tell he was scream in panic.
He slowly got up, he had his one good right eye open as his damaged clothing reveal his chest and left arm was covered in burn marks. He staggered a little and try to aim his pool noodle towards my direction.
"STOP IT!!!" We turned to the sound and saw Water Witch reaching out to us. "Please just stop. We won't use the funding to raise an army, just let us go. Just don't kill us."
I admit, I now feel sad for them. I lowered my toy lightsaber and said, "Just get out of here and..." I stopped because I saw someone coming from behind the injured man and shouted, "Behind you!!!"
He turned around and suddenly a 7-foot tall monstrous man pierced The Cajun through the chest with his bone claws that's coming out of his knuckles and lifted his body up from the ground.
The man in the long brown coat cough some blood and asked weakly, "My brother, why?"
The monster looked deeply at his eyes and said, "Brothers? We were never blood. I always loved Water Witch from the beginning when I was at this business but she moved away during the fallout between you and Cowboy dropout. When I was restore back to life, I see you with her. It sickens me. And now you die." He flung his fist to the side, which sends fallen man to the side and falling to the burning ground below.
Thr red-haired woman seem in disbelief for a moment and then broke down in tears.
He looked down at me and asked, "Do you remember me? I am known as many stage names, Jungle King, Crell, Rice Wine, The One True Grater."
I remember him from North Little Rock. He was one of the many strippers there who went by Jungle King. He was mad that I put an end to the operation and went to attack me. This guy called Grater drink down an entire vial of Super Solider serum and it radically morphed him to his grotesque appearance. He went from my height to 7-foot tall. His bones has shifted to where he has spikes piercing out of his shoulders, elbows, knees. His skull has some sort of antenna or horn. His body is covered in blueish green veins. He became some sort of Super Grater.
Our match if you call it that ended quickly when he accidentally killed himself when he punched a pillar that caused a cave-in. I guessing like The Terminator, he came back from the dead from being some weird magical worm clone thing.
I told him, "I do remember you from the other location. I guessing like The Terminator, you came back from the dead from being some weird magical worm clone thing."
He now said, " So you do remember, you should die from ruining my performance from back then." He started charging at me with his bone claws. He swipe at me a few times. I block his blows with my weapons after the third blow, it knock it back. I rolled out of the way from his fourth attack.
I grabbed Cajun's weapon and threw it to Grater's chest. Instead of piercing through his chest, it only knock him back a little as the weapon's tip broke into pieces. He said to himself, "Pathetic." He threw a fist at me but I stopped it when I grabbed his wrist with one hand and use another to grab the back of his head and use it to slam his head to a pipe on the roof.
He broke out of my hold and grabbed and threw me. I saw one of Cajun's pool noodle shards and held it like a dagger as I jumped on top of an AC unit. I said to the beast, "How can you do that Grater, he was your brother and you killed him?" I slashed at his right shoulder but it did nothing but a tiny cut, seems I need something stronger. He delivered a mighty kick that shatter the unit pieces. I jumped back and slash at him but nothing. He grabbed by his giant hand and said, "That man was destined to be trash that needs to be burned." I said back, "And what's your destiny, to be a monster, a demon, look at yourself." He took a moment to pause to think but he shrugged it off and resume to kill me.
He threw me across and I landed a few feet away. I saw him charging at me with with fist with those claws extended. I told myself, fear nothing. I jumped out of the way of his fist. Before he could react, I delivered several kicks to his back and then slammed my foot on the back of his left knee, with him on the ground, I gave him a mean right hook. He stumbled back a few feet from my blow.
I jumped back and found my toy lightsaber I dropped earlier. I grabbed it and jump to my foe while performing a battle cry. He lunge his claws towards my head while I plan to sliced through his neck.
A sound of something being cut was heard.
Water Witch is getting to her feet and wiping her eyes. She then heard a noise and looked. She saw me standing there with a The Jungle King's head up in the air. I said, "The Grater is finished."
Water Witch said she will keep her promise and won't used the funds for building an army. She plans to give her love a funeral soon. Most of the strippers were upset business is closed again but at least they got paid from their tour. They plan to go back to running furniture business and do a better job running the business.
Water Witch used her powers to turn the entire Mississippi from my view into a giant tidal wave and ready to drop it down.
As quickly as I can, I ran away from it. I pulled out my phone on my pocket and clicked on an app. I press on some buttons and then hang up the phone. The tidal wave was getting nearer and nearer as I felt heavy rain starting to pour to me. I thought to myself, Please show yourself.
I looked towards the west and I saw it charging towards me. It was my remote control jetpack that's programmed to fly to my location when I used it's app. I grabbed on the devise and buckle in as the rain water was getting heaver and heaver. Wasting no time, I flew out of there.
Cajan saw this and told the sorceress, "Chere, sent me to the nearby warehouse. Maybe I can destroy his jetpack from there." She waved her hand and the bubble that's protecting them from the tidal wave was separated into two like watching two cells divide. His bubble was sent flying to it's location. She now turns to my location and used her flying bubble to hover towards me.
She turned the falling water into giant hands of water and reach out to grab me. I press a button on the side of the jetpack and it open two compartments, revealing two Nerf guns attach to it. I grabbed and turn towards her and fired at the giant hands. It causes the hands to scattered to pieces. I then fired my guns to her but her water shield block my bullets. Seems trying to kill her with a toy gun was a dumb and stupid idea.
She then used the destroyed hands to reform and turn into four giant 20-foot waterballs and threw them at me. I used my gizmo to fly away from the attacks. I fired my guns to destroy the last waterball.
I thought to myself, my guns won't get pass her shield, I got to do something more powerful. I came up with and idea and rocketed toward the ground. She threw several sharks made of water at me. I got to the ground and quickly planted a dodgeball to the surface. I flew away just before her attacks hit. I did the same thing again and planted another dodgeball to the ground while dodging her water kraken attacks. I did the same thing again as I landed in a area full of warehouses and planted my last dodgeball.
Suddenly, I saw a pool noodle coming to my face. I flew back and saw Cajun before me. He used his stick to the ground and sent an explosion to the end tip that sent him airborne. The man from the Bayou State was over my head and threw several punches at me. I block his punches, but some of them hit the jetpack, I guessing he missed. I threw a midair roundhouse to his face and he was knocked to the ground.
I flew back up and saw Water Witch up in the air, coming to me. I press at a small device and threw it at her location. She said, "What is thi..." Suddenly she saw three dodgeballs that I planted into the ground earlier were now flying towards her. She trying to moved out of the way but one of the three dodgeballs hit the side of her bubble and caused it to shattered to pieces. Before she could react to anything what's happening. She then saw me and I threw a fist into her face.
The punch sent her flying downwards to the empty warehouse area. She used her powers to create another water bubble to soften her fall right before she crashed into the ground.
Cajun ran to his grounded beloved and ran to her side. She seems weak from the fall, "Cajun, I too weak to use my powers again." He grabbed her hand and said, "Cajun, always love you ma chere." He gave her a kiss. He looked up to the air, "Don't worry, his days are up."
With her down, I now planned to defeat the swamp boy and...I now feel something behind my back that's building up energy. I looked at my jetpack and saw sticky playing cards attach to my jetpack. He must of put them there when his punches seem like they miss my face. I can see that energy was building up in the cards themselves.
I flew downward and pressed a button on the jetpack that ejected a toy lightsaber from it. I grabbed it and quickly unbuckle the machine. As I fall closer and closer to the ground, I can hear behind me that the machine burst into flames. With no time to waste, I used my toy lightsaber to stab on the edge of the warehouse building to prevent me from hitting the ground.
I pulled myself up the roof and watch as my falling jetpack crashed into the side of the one of the buildings and it started a fire. The flames spread around the four walls of the building and started reach to the next warehouse building and the next, soon in engulfed all the floor of the entire area. Thankfully it didn't up walls and only stayed on ground level.
There he was, The Cajun coming straight at me, full of rage. He swing his weapon at me but I used my toy lightsaber to block it's blows. Our weapons locked. The man from the Bayou State used his free hand to reach into his pocket and pulled out some cards. He sends kinetic energy into them and they started to glow. Not wanting him to plant another bomb on me like he did with my jetpack, I headbutted him. His grip on the pool noodle loosen and release from the weapons lock. I did a swing with my tool and sliced through one of his glowing eyes. He screamed in pain and lose control, not paying attention to his cards. I ran back as the cards exploded in front of him.
He was sent flying back from his own blast. His front area has some some fires on it, he quickly rolled left and right a few times just to shake the fire off. You can tell he was scream in panic.
He slowly got up, he had his one good right eye open as his damaged clothing reveal his chest and left arm was covered in burn marks. He staggered a little and try to aim his pool noodle towards my direction.
"STOP IT!!!" We turned to the sound and saw Water Witch reaching out to us. "Please just stop. We won't use the funding to raise an army, just let us go. Just don't kill us."
I admit, I now feel sad for them. I lowered my toy lightsaber and said, "Just get out of here and..." I stopped because I saw someone coming from behind the injured man and shouted, "Behind you!!!"
He turned around and suddenly a 7-foot tall monstrous man pierced The Cajun through the chest with his bone claws that's coming out of his knuckles and lifted his body up from the ground.
The man in the long brown coat cough some blood and asked weakly, "My brother, why?"
The monster looked deeply at his eyes and said, "Brothers? We were never blood. I always loved Water Witch from the beginning when I was at this business but she moved away during the fallout between you and Cowboy dropout. When I was restore back to life, I see you with her. It sickens me. And now you die." He flung his fist to the side, which sends fallen man to the side and falling to the burning ground below.
Thr red-haired woman seem in disbelief for a moment and then broke down in tears.
He looked down at me and asked, "Do you remember me? I am known as many stage names, Jungle King, Crell, Rice Wine, The One True Grater."
I remember him from North Little Rock. He was one of the many strippers there who went by Jungle King. He was mad that I put an end to the operation and went to attack me. This guy called Grater drink down an entire vial of Super Solider serum and it radically morphed him to his grotesque appearance. He went from my height to 7-foot tall. His bones has shifted to where he has spikes piercing out of his shoulders, elbows, knees. His skull has some sort of antenna or horn. His body is covered in blueish green veins. He became some sort of Super Grater.
Our match if you call it that ended quickly when he accidentally killed himself when he punched a pillar that caused a cave-in. I guessing like The Terminator, he came back from the dead from being some weird magical worm clone thing.
I told him, "I do remember you from the other location. I guessing like The Terminator, you came back from the dead from being some weird magical worm clone thing."
He now said, " So you do remember, you should die from ruining my performance from back then." He started charging at me with his bone claws. He swipe at me a few times. I block his blows with my weapons after the third blow, it knock it back. I rolled out of the way from his fourth attack.
I grabbed Cajun's weapon and threw it to Grater's chest. Instead of piercing through his chest, it only knock him back a little as the weapon's tip broke into pieces. He said to himself, "Pathetic." He threw a fist at me but I stopped it when I grabbed his wrist with one hand and use another to grab the back of his head and use it to slam his head to a pipe on the roof.
He broke out of my hold and grabbed and threw me. I saw one of Cajun's pool noodle shards and held it like a dagger as I jumped on top of an AC unit. I said to the beast, "How can you do that Grater, he was your brother and you killed him?" I slashed at his right shoulder but it did nothing but a tiny cut, seems I need something stronger. He delivered a mighty kick that shatter the unit pieces. I jumped back and slash at him but nothing. He grabbed by his giant hand and said, "That man was destined to be trash that needs to be burned." I said back, "And what's your destiny, to be a monster, a demon, look at yourself." He took a moment to pause to think but he shrugged it off and resume to kill me.
He threw me across and I landed a few feet away. I saw him charging at me with with fist with those claws extended. I told myself, fear nothing. I jumped out of the way of his fist. Before he could react, I delivered several kicks to his back and then slammed my foot on the back of his left knee, with him on the ground, I gave him a mean right hook. He stumbled back a few feet from my blow.
I jumped back and found my toy lightsaber I dropped earlier. I grabbed it and jump to my foe while performing a battle cry. He lunge his claws towards my head while I plan to sliced through his neck.
A sound of something being cut was heard.
Water Witch is getting to her feet and wiping her eyes. She then heard a noise and looked. She saw me standing there with a The Jungle King's head up in the air. I said, "The Grater is finished."
Water Witch said she will keep her promise and won't used the funds for building an army. She plans to give her love a funeral soon. Most of the strippers were upset business is closed again but at least they got paid from their tour. They plan to go back to running furniture business and do a better job running the business.
THE END
Monday, March 16, 2020
To Stop the Mississippi River Tour chapter 2
View Chapter 1
In a secret underground area near the town of Tomato, Arkansas. A brown-hair man with a long brown coat walked around the backstage, shuffling a pack of cards. He had a mysterious dark glow in his eyes. He is called The Cajun. He walked toward a young redhead woman. She turns towards him with a smile. He said, "Hello ma chere, why not give Cajun a little kiss." They wrapped their arms around each other and kissed.
In a secret underground area near the town of Tomato, Arkansas. A brown-hair man with a long brown coat walked around the backstage, shuffling a pack of cards. He had a mysterious dark glow in his eyes. He is called The Cajun. He walked toward a young redhead woman. She turns towards him with a smile. He said, "Hello ma chere, why not give Cajun a little kiss." They wrapped their arms around each other and kissed.
Unknown to them, a large man that's 7-foot tall with humongous muscles watch them from the shadows. I gave a growl and said, "You should been mine Water Witch. I wanted you for a long time" He balled his hands into fist that shook with anger. Out of the fist came out two bone claws piercing out between his knuckles.
Water Witch pull away and stare into his odd dark glowy eyes. She said, "Knock them out, give them one heck of a show." He replied, "Merci, after dis show, we get all da funds we need to start an army to conquer all of Arkansas with you as my queen."
They notice a man in a coat with his head down. Cajun asked, "Now which performer are you? I don't remember you?" The man drastically threw coat to the side and pointed a foam sword to them. It was me and I told them. "I rewrote the entrance sign, saying the show was closed. So no one is coming. I'm pulling the plug on this operation."
The man from Louisiana glared, "Now you shouldn't of done dat. I have to reschedule everything, non."
I asked him, "How in the world is The Terminator came back from the dead? Even he didn't know and the only answer he got was a guy high on tide pods." He smiled, "If you want to know, I tell you. You see, our strippers don't just specialized in only on stripping. I have some dem as highly advance scientists und powerful mystics. They used their skills to create worms dat dig underground und eat da remains of da deceased. They then morph into the person they ate, becoming a clone you say."
I had to take a few seconds on hearing the man I killed in Dumas was made of worms. I asked, "Why revived him? You wanted me dead by bringing him back?" The Cajun shrugged and said, "Not really, When I heard a few strippers died, I wanted dem revived. Everyone in da business are like brothers to me, we worked together und help each other. Dat's what I didn't like about dat Dallas Cowboy dropout, when we ran the business together, he didn't see us as people und I had to walk away from him. Oh well, C'est la vie."
He walked back and forth while shuffling those cards, showing no fear to my foam sword, "Big Richard on da other hand was way too recent after I left und we think he only became a stripper for his own agenda. We didn't know whose remains it was till da worms grew into dat man. So seeing he wanted you dead und we knew you were chasing us, we sent him out as a distraction."
He stop pacing, "But since you are here." He suddenly threw his cards like darts at me. I slash at them to defend myself but to my surprise, they exploded. The exploding cards knocked the sword out of my hands.
I saw Cajun pulled out a few more cards and it seems he injected them with some sort of energy. He said, "I bet you met my ex back den. You know, da football dropout's bodyguard. Things didn't work out between us. Back when we were together, both of us did had dark energy crystals. You remember when she ate them und develop powers?" I asked him, "So I'm guessing your explosive powers came from dark crystals too?" He smirk and threw some cards.
I ran back to avoid them. One of them got near and the blast of the explosion knock me off the ground for a second. He said, "Don't worry about my ex coming back. Da worms were only program to hunt down male DNA."
He threw another set of cards but I threw some paper ninja stars to hit his attacks that caused an explosive in the middle of the room. As the smoke clears, I ran to reach my fallen sword but before I could reach it, Cajun pulled out a pool noodle and try to jab me with it. I had to backtrack away from him to avoid his attacks. I threw some paper ninja stars and he used his weapon to block every shot.
Water Witch who was watching said, "How about I have some fun dear." She unzipped her jacket and threw it to the side. She was now wearing a green wetsuit that look like it's has scales on it. She wave her hands in the air and wave her hand to the right.
I saw the wall to my left side shaking. The wall burst open and large streams of water came gusting out. Seems she is manipulating the water out of the building's pipes. She then moved her hands towards mine direction. Wasting no time, I ran out of the area. I turn down some hall as I looked back, I saw a large wave of water coming towards my direction. I finally see the ladder that I used to enter the building. I climbed up and got out of the place before the flood hit.
I escaped to the surface and saw the Mississippi River nearby. I took a moment to breath and sighed a moment of relief.
Just then, I heard loud sounds in front of me, it was the ground itself exploded. As the dust from the explosion cleared, I saw Cajun and Water Witch standing there. She then raised her arms up high. Suddenly I felt a large earthquake and right after, a large shadow covered the entire land. I looked up and saw the entire Mississippi River was turned into a large tidal wave.
I looked at Water Witch and she activated a large bubble to protect herself and Cajun. She then threw her hands down with a mean smirk on her face, meaning she's bringing down the Mississippi.
He walked back and forth while shuffling those cards, showing no fear to my foam sword, "Big Richard on da other hand was way too recent after I left und we think he only became a stripper for his own agenda. We didn't know whose remains it was till da worms grew into dat man. So seeing he wanted you dead und we knew you were chasing us, we sent him out as a distraction."
He stop pacing, "But since you are here." He suddenly threw his cards like darts at me. I slash at them to defend myself but to my surprise, they exploded. The exploding cards knocked the sword out of my hands.
I saw Cajun pulled out a few more cards and it seems he injected them with some sort of energy. He said, "I bet you met my ex back den. You know, da football dropout's bodyguard. Things didn't work out between us. Back when we were together, both of us did had dark energy crystals. You remember when she ate them und develop powers?" I asked him, "So I'm guessing your explosive powers came from dark crystals too?" He smirk and threw some cards.
I ran back to avoid them. One of them got near and the blast of the explosion knock me off the ground for a second. He said, "Don't worry about my ex coming back. Da worms were only program to hunt down male DNA."
He threw another set of cards but I threw some paper ninja stars to hit his attacks that caused an explosive in the middle of the room. As the smoke clears, I ran to reach my fallen sword but before I could reach it, Cajun pulled out a pool noodle and try to jab me with it. I had to backtrack away from him to avoid his attacks. I threw some paper ninja stars and he used his weapon to block every shot.
Water Witch who was watching said, "How about I have some fun dear." She unzipped her jacket and threw it to the side. She was now wearing a green wetsuit that look like it's has scales on it. She wave her hands in the air and wave her hand to the right.
I saw the wall to my left side shaking. The wall burst open and large streams of water came gusting out. Seems she is manipulating the water out of the building's pipes. She then moved her hands towards mine direction. Wasting no time, I ran out of the area. I turn down some hall as I looked back, I saw a large wave of water coming towards my direction. I finally see the ladder that I used to enter the building. I climbed up and got out of the place before the flood hit.
I escaped to the surface and saw the Mississippi River nearby. I took a moment to breath and sighed a moment of relief.
Just then, I heard loud sounds in front of me, it was the ground itself exploded. As the dust from the explosion cleared, I saw Cajun and Water Witch standing there. She then raised her arms up high. Suddenly I felt a large earthquake and right after, a large shadow covered the entire land. I looked up and saw the entire Mississippi River was turned into a large tidal wave.
I looked at Water Witch and she activated a large bubble to protect herself and Cajun. She then threw her hands down with a mean smirk on her face, meaning she's bringing down the Mississippi.
To Be Continued...
Friday, March 13, 2020
To Stop the Mississippi River Tour chapter 1
Here it is, a new story is up. It's a parody that's loosely based on a certain movie sequel. I was requested to parody of the 1st movie a long time ago. Here is the sequel.
It's been a year since I stopped the evil accountant that help run a male stripper business. He was a former Dallas Cowboy player who was using his acquired money from the stripping business to fund a Neo-Baddie Movement where they will conquer and enslave all of Arkansas.
We believed that they were gone till we heard a ice cream truck full of male strippers crashed near Lake Village near the Mississippi River. The reason it crashed is because the driver was too busy smoking a tide pod while driving.
Most of the strippers disappeared, rumors state that they got a ride from the very same black woman with the weird hairdo from I saw way way back. It was when I fought against the Evil Elf King's forces when I fell off a moving 18-wheeler and fell on her car a long time ago.
Luckily, one of the strippers and the driver is still in a hospital at Lake Village. I arrived at his room during visiting hours and saw him on his bed with a leg in a cast. I told him, "I told the receptionist that I was a friend of yours." He looked at me and said, "Your that guy that put a stop on our stripping gig in North Little Rock."
I asked, "I thought you guys retired and started running a furniture business?" He replied, "We did but it didn't do well, so we decided to go back to our old jobs. A guy called The Cajun who was a former stripper came by and said we can go do a tour up the Mississippi River. He and the Dallas Cowboy used to run the business together but things went south between the two and he left. He came back to run the business when he heard his former partner left."
I asked, "You know where they headed?" He said, "I know a list of places we are going to perform." He grabbed a notepad and pen from his food tray. He wrote down something and handed me the sheet. He said, "That's all the cities we were going." I was about to head to the door when he said, "Wait!" He handed me a cell phone and said, "One of other strippers handed me this, he told me that you be most likely to visit me. He wanted to me to hand you this phone and contact you."
I told the patient goodbye and thank you as I headed outside the building. I looked at the cell's contacts and saw only one. I called it and soon I heard someone. On the other end was a man with a rough Australian accent. He said, "When my head was cut off last year and right before I slip to unconsciousness and was plunge into the depths of Hell, I made a promise that I will have revenge on you and I will keep my promise."
My skin turned white and said, "Big Richard? But how? I watch you die?" He replied, "I rather you called me The Terminator than my stupid stage name that I used to go undercover as a stripper. As how I come back, I honesty don't know? According to our driver, I was in Hell and I met a 4-eyed demon who's called Tri-something, all I know it starts with a T. The demon told me he resurrect me in order serve him. Honesty, I think our driver was high on those tide pods but that may be the only theory that sort of makes sense."
I told the merc, "Well I like to chat and all but I got to stop a group of guys go touring up the Mississippi". The man answered back, " But what about all the hostages I have? The entire city of Dumas is under lockdown with mercenaries patrolling the streets. We be waiting." The call ended. I seems I have to deal with my old enemy first.
Later that night, I sneaked into the city of Dumas. I pulled out my binoculars and see tanks patrolling the streets. Most of the citizens were asleep, so they don't notice what's happening to their city. I watch where the tanks were going for a few minutes and then, I see one of them parked at a building.
I went to it's direction. When I arrived there, I saw tank's driver outside of his vehicle to grab a cola from the drink machine. He mutter to himself, "Gee, I hope the boss won't notice. I been going around the streets for hours in that hot tank." Little did he know I sneaked inside of his tank.
I saw a owner's manual near the driver's seat. I did a quick read of it on how to use this thing. According to it, the tanks' main weakness is on the backside of the vehicle. After I was done, I put it down and begin driving it.
I drove around city and spotted one of the other tanks. I went from behind it and got a lock-on it's backside. I fired a Nerf missile from the vehicle's turret and destroy the enemy machine. I drove around the city and did the same thing a few times.
I was down to two tanks left. As I was about to get to them, I spotted a far larger tank that was twice the size of a normal one. Soon it spotted me and the three tanks were firing missiles on me. I quickly turn around and activated the tank's boosters to hightail it. I came back to the location and quickly destroy one of the two smaller ones. The other small one saw me and alerted the big one. I bet the driver of that vehicle is The Terminator himself. They chase me across city and after passing a few buildings, I finally lost them. I drove around the entire city to sneak up on them on the other side.
I got to the last small tank and fired a Nerf missile on it's backside. All that's left is the big one. It has a different design that these regular vehicles. It may not have the same weakness. It notice me and fired heat-seeking Nerf missiles. I fire my machine Nerf guns to destroy them and unload all missiles on the giant tanks. I used the vehicle's boosters to retreat while still firing. Finally after minute of fighting, his giant machine broke down. I saw his cockpit hatch was opening, meaning he's ready to fight me head on.
I think back to remember the last time I fought him. It was a very brutal hand-to-hand match. One of the most epic battles I was ever in. I was barely lucky to survive that fight.
I was ready to face him now, I press the eject button and I was flung into the air. We both were up and the air ready to face each other. He raise his sword but I deliver a punch into his face. He were now falling downward. Giving him no time to react, I pulled out my toy lightsaber and....Already I cut his head off....
As I land on my feet while his headless body crashed to the ground, I said to myself, "Dude, that was very anti-climatic! WTF man! I thought I was going to have an epic match."
All the damage was clean up overnight and the citizens of the city didn't notice that Dumas was under lockdown from mercenaries.
It seems my battle with Terminator was meant for detraction. I try to go to all the cities where the strippers perform like Dewitt, West Helena, Forest City, Birdsong, Marked Tree, Osceola, Blytheville. Seems likes they were already here. All I got now is one more city to explore, they are going to perform one last show in a secret underground area nearby the town of Tomato, Arkansas.
It's been a year since I stopped the evil accountant that help run a male stripper business. He was a former Dallas Cowboy player who was using his acquired money from the stripping business to fund a Neo-Baddie Movement where they will conquer and enslave all of Arkansas.
We believed that they were gone till we heard a ice cream truck full of male strippers crashed near Lake Village near the Mississippi River. The reason it crashed is because the driver was too busy smoking a tide pod while driving.
Most of the strippers disappeared, rumors state that they got a ride from the very same black woman with the weird hairdo from I saw way way back. It was when I fought against the Evil Elf King's forces when I fell off a moving 18-wheeler and fell on her car a long time ago.
Luckily, one of the strippers and the driver is still in a hospital at Lake Village. I arrived at his room during visiting hours and saw him on his bed with a leg in a cast. I told him, "I told the receptionist that I was a friend of yours." He looked at me and said, "Your that guy that put a stop on our stripping gig in North Little Rock."
I asked, "I thought you guys retired and started running a furniture business?" He replied, "We did but it didn't do well, so we decided to go back to our old jobs. A guy called The Cajun who was a former stripper came by and said we can go do a tour up the Mississippi River. He and the Dallas Cowboy used to run the business together but things went south between the two and he left. He came back to run the business when he heard his former partner left."
I asked, "You know where they headed?" He said, "I know a list of places we are going to perform." He grabbed a notepad and pen from his food tray. He wrote down something and handed me the sheet. He said, "That's all the cities we were going." I was about to head to the door when he said, "Wait!" He handed me a cell phone and said, "One of other strippers handed me this, he told me that you be most likely to visit me. He wanted to me to hand you this phone and contact you."
I told the patient goodbye and thank you as I headed outside the building. I looked at the cell's contacts and saw only one. I called it and soon I heard someone. On the other end was a man with a rough Australian accent. He said, "When my head was cut off last year and right before I slip to unconsciousness and was plunge into the depths of Hell, I made a promise that I will have revenge on you and I will keep my promise."
My skin turned white and said, "Big Richard? But how? I watch you die?" He replied, "I rather you called me The Terminator than my stupid stage name that I used to go undercover as a stripper. As how I come back, I honesty don't know? According to our driver, I was in Hell and I met a 4-eyed demon who's called Tri-something, all I know it starts with a T. The demon told me he resurrect me in order serve him. Honesty, I think our driver was high on those tide pods but that may be the only theory that sort of makes sense."
I told the merc, "Well I like to chat and all but I got to stop a group of guys go touring up the Mississippi". The man answered back, " But what about all the hostages I have? The entire city of Dumas is under lockdown with mercenaries patrolling the streets. We be waiting." The call ended. I seems I have to deal with my old enemy first.
Later that night, I sneaked into the city of Dumas. I pulled out my binoculars and see tanks patrolling the streets. Most of the citizens were asleep, so they don't notice what's happening to their city. I watch where the tanks were going for a few minutes and then, I see one of them parked at a building.
I went to it's direction. When I arrived there, I saw tank's driver outside of his vehicle to grab a cola from the drink machine. He mutter to himself, "Gee, I hope the boss won't notice. I been going around the streets for hours in that hot tank." Little did he know I sneaked inside of his tank.
I saw a owner's manual near the driver's seat. I did a quick read of it on how to use this thing. According to it, the tanks' main weakness is on the backside of the vehicle. After I was done, I put it down and begin driving it.
I drove around city and spotted one of the other tanks. I went from behind it and got a lock-on it's backside. I fired a Nerf missile from the vehicle's turret and destroy the enemy machine. I drove around the city and did the same thing a few times.
I was down to two tanks left. As I was about to get to them, I spotted a far larger tank that was twice the size of a normal one. Soon it spotted me and the three tanks were firing missiles on me. I quickly turn around and activated the tank's boosters to hightail it. I came back to the location and quickly destroy one of the two smaller ones. The other small one saw me and alerted the big one. I bet the driver of that vehicle is The Terminator himself. They chase me across city and after passing a few buildings, I finally lost them. I drove around the entire city to sneak up on them on the other side.
I got to the last small tank and fired a Nerf missile on it's backside. All that's left is the big one. It has a different design that these regular vehicles. It may not have the same weakness. It notice me and fired heat-seeking Nerf missiles. I fire my machine Nerf guns to destroy them and unload all missiles on the giant tanks. I used the vehicle's boosters to retreat while still firing. Finally after minute of fighting, his giant machine broke down. I saw his cockpit hatch was opening, meaning he's ready to fight me head on.
I think back to remember the last time I fought him. It was a very brutal hand-to-hand match. One of the most epic battles I was ever in. I was barely lucky to survive that fight.
I was ready to face him now, I press the eject button and I was flung into the air. We both were up and the air ready to face each other. He raise his sword but I deliver a punch into his face. He were now falling downward. Giving him no time to react, I pulled out my toy lightsaber and....Already I cut his head off....
As I land on my feet while his headless body crashed to the ground, I said to myself, "Dude, that was very anti-climatic! WTF man! I thought I was going to have an epic match."
All the damage was clean up overnight and the citizens of the city didn't notice that Dumas was under lockdown from mercenaries.
It seems my battle with Terminator was meant for detraction. I try to go to all the cities where the strippers perform like Dewitt, West Helena, Forest City, Birdsong, Marked Tree, Osceola, Blytheville. Seems likes they were already here. All I got now is one more city to explore, they are going to perform one last show in a secret underground area nearby the town of Tomato, Arkansas.
Thursday, February 20, 2020
You Will Cry!!! 2019 part 1
This is collection of jokes of all the major movies that came out in the 1st half of 2019. Enjoy!!!
I'm going to make you watch Alita... You will cry.... When you see her giant anime eyes.
Good Gosh those are freaky.
Note- This movie was based from some obscure anime from 1990s. It's in live-action but only the cyborgs are in CGI. The main character is clearly resemble your average anime character with those giant eyes. It being done in a somewhat realistic setting, it's big eyes is very noticeable. Of course, it became the joke of the internet for a while.
1. I'm going to make you watch Captain Marvel and....What do you mean Captain Marvel is a blond woman. No it isn't, it's a little boy that turns into a adult. I'm not lying, his name really is Captain Marvel.
*Ending spoilers ahead, skip to the next one*
2. That Superman couldn't make a full cameo in the movie because of that stupid CGI mustache and it's all Tom Cruise's fault.
Note#1- I'm not lying that Shazam is also known as Captain Marvel. I give a timeline of events of how this happen.
- In 1940s and 50s, Captain Marvel was published by Fawcett comics and they were very popular and even outselling DC's Superman. It's about a boy who can transform into a superhero by shouting "SHAZAM!"
- DC comics sued Fawcett, saying most of Captain Marvel's powers are ripping off of the Man in Steel.
- Fawcett lose the case and stop making comics of the superhero.
- Marvel comics in the 60s came around and made their own Captain Marvel with copyrights and everything. Marvel's Captain Marvel died later on and had successors who took the mantle, including Carol Danvers.(Who the movie is based on)
- DC tried to bring Fawcett's Marvel back under their comics they can't call him Captain Marvel on the comic covers due to Marvel Comics having the copyright. So it's called SHAZAM! now. They can call him Captain Marvel within the comics, just not on the covers.
- Years and years later, both Captain Marvels somehow ended up having movies that came out at the same time.
*Ending Spoilers Ahead*
Note#2- There is a scene where Superman sits down with Shazam at the school cafeteria but you see him from the neck down. Originally, they were going to get Henry Cavill from the recent DC movies to play Superman but he wasn't available at the time.
It was easy to joke that they didn't show his face because of the infamous CGI mustache. Henry Cavill had to come back to Justice League for reshoots but was under contract from the recent Mission Impossible to not shave his stache, which lead to a very noticeable fake looking upper lip.
You will cry... on how Nick Fury lost his eye.
Note- There were theories over the years of how Nick Fury lost his eye. Captain Marvel took place in the 90s and we finally see it and he simply got his eye scratch out by a mere cat...Ok , a weird alien cat that can eat everything and shoot out tentacles but it acted like a regular cat during that one scene. People were not happy this he lost his eye in an anti-climatic fashion. In the comics, his eye got damage when he got hit by a grenade while battling Nazis.
*Major spoilers for all of Avengers: Endgame. Skip to the next movie if you don't want to see. You been warned*
2. That you haven't seen Daredevil, Luke Cage, Punisher, Agents of Shield, Runaways, and that awful Inhumans or you be confused on the movie since you never saw these shows.
3. That Thor is fat. That the Hulk talks normal and is smart.
4. That they are coping off the infamous comic story of Captain America, a man who values the American ideals says, "Hail Hydra". You know, the Nazis.
5. That the overly hyped Captain Marvel didn't do much
6. That X dies
7. That Captain America's ending didn't make sense
8. That there was no post credits. Man, nobody came to the theaters to see the movie itself, they came to see the post-credits, if they don't have one, then what's the point of watching?
Note#1- Yes, Thanos did actually died 15 minutes within the movie, however the powers where he took away of half of all life in the universe was un-reversible. The Avengers were upset they couldn't undo what Thanos did and 5 years past. They then discover time travel, then Thanos from years ago learn of their plans and time travels to the present to battle them.
Note#2- I joke with others that your required to see all the TV shows that take place in the MCU. Forgot trying to catch up on 22 movies but several TV shows as well. However while these shows do take place in the same world, the movies don't reference them at all. They know not everyone watches stuff beyond the movies and they don't reference it for the sake of confusing casuals. So you can watch the shows at your own pace if you want or not watch them, instead of forcing yourself to watch just to not be confused at Endgame.
Note#3- Failing on undo the damage Thanos did, Thor became upset and got fat within the 5 years.
As for the Hulk, his and Bruce Banner's personalities merged into Professor Hulk. The merged personalities guy was also in the comics as well.
It is funny to show people who haven't seen this movie and show them how much Thor and Hulk has changed.
Note#4- A few years back, there was a comic storyline called Secret Empire. The storyline started with Captain America as the leader of S.H.I.E.L.D saying, "Hail Hydra", revealing he was a sleeper agent all these years and now he is in control of the government organization.
People complained a symbol of American values, who was originally written by Jewish writers, is now a Nazi sleeper agent and people wanted to burn their Captain America comics.
Then it was reveal that the Cosmic Cube or Tesseract as MCU viewers know, rewrote reality itself, making Cap into an agent of Hydra. In the end, the good version of Captain America came back and he is now existing with the evil Nazi Hydra counterpart and they fought.
Now in the actual movie itself, the Avengers were time traveling into the past to grab the infinity stones but they saw several agents were grabbing the Tesseract. Due to his knowledge from the future that those are Hydra agents posing as S.H.I.E.L.D agents, Cap joins them and pretends he's one of them and they handed him the cube.
Note#5- Captain Marvel was very hyped up long before Infinity War was out. It was said she is the most powerful superhero. She also had a movie coming between Infinity War and Endgame. When Infinity War ended on a cliffhanger and the post-credits were teasing her movie, people are saying she is the one who will bring down Thanos. Others make a joke that Ant-Man who be the one by ...well going up his butt and well...umm enlarging.... I seriously doubt that happens.
She did help Iron Man return back to Earth in the beginning and exchange a few blows against Thanos at the end but she had a very small role in Endgame.
Note#6- Endgame was meant to be the grand finale of the Infinity Saga and some of the actors' contracts of the numbers of movies they were in was about to be done. Someone dying was a possibility.
Note#7- After Thanos was defeated. Cap was planning to go back in time to return the stones exactly where they found them. However, he didn't come back from the portal, his friends notice a 90-year old man sitting on a park bench. Turns out he went back to his love that he left behind when he got frozen in the 1940s and didn't wake up till 2010s.
This confused people. Did he travel back in time? Didn't she moved on and get married? What if he was the husband and Sharon Carter is his biological granddaughter and they ki...ewww.
Others say he went to a different universe and didn't mess up the timestream.
Some are happy he got his happy ending. Others are not because he and Peggy moved on.
Various members of cast and crew had different answers on the ending.
Note#8- Marvel movies are known having post credits scenes. Stuff that teases the next movie. However for once, there was no post credits at all.
Imagine people who was still sitting in the seats in theater during the credits and all they see was nothing.
You will cry...that Jigglypuff is in it.
Oh great, this unholy monstrosity is it. She's the Jar-Jar of Pokemon. We could of have this 1st great video game movie but she had to ruin it with her presence, because of her, Pokemon is ruined forever.
Note-I admit I'm not into Pokemon. Most of my knowledge comes from the major Nintendo crossover game, Super Smash Bros.
Of all the playable characters, one of my least favorites is Jigglypuff. She incredibly lightweight to the point by gently poking her with your finger will send her flying. I remember dying alot playing her, even on very easy mode.
I know pro players during the Melee era know how to make her everything but weak. She can sing to put others to sleep and rest to blast people away but you have to be very very close and your an open target performing these moves.
I admit, it silly to hate on a character when I only know her from a non-pokemon game.
2. That Will Smith is a poor follow up to Dan Castellaneta
*Spoiler warning. Even this is word by word remake of the original, the next bit is one of the few exclusive things that came from remake.*
3.That Genie ends up with Jasmine's handmaiden and not the female genie, Eden.
I hate you Dalia. How dare you ruined one of my favorite Aladdin ships. I hope people write nasty fanfics of you.
This is who Genie should be with. GenieXEdenForever!!!
Note#1-There was backlash on early material and it only showed Will Smith looking like a regular human.
Will Smith and others who made the movie said have patience and have hope to see Genie looking like a genie. When another trailer came around, we finally see Will Smith in his full genie glory....Then more backlash happen and jokes and stuff. With him in obvious CGI or him being very very blue.
Note#2-When it was announced that Will Smith was playing Genie, everyone on the planet was comparing the Fresh Prince to the comedian legend. Everyone but me.
Here's the thing, I never actually own the VHS/DVD/Blu-ray of the movie. Of the many movies my school will play when they bring in the TVs, Aladdin wasn't one of them. So I only saw the movie only twice in my entire lifetime.
Some of the hate on the Fresh Prince die down with him being his own Genie instead of coping off of Robin.
Also after watching a dozen episodes, looking back at this scene looks weird to me because they never randomly bust out into singing in the entire series.
Note#3- I don't hate Jasmine's handmaiden. I just remember Genie had a love interest in a few episodes from the TV series and I wonder if there's people out there that is upset that Genie was with someone else. However this is a completely different universe and not everything has to be the same.
1. You will cry...On Mothra's new design.
*Spoilers ahead, you been warned*
2. That Rodan is a traitor.
3. Godzilla using one of Ghidorha's heads as a cigar.
Note#1- While most of the designs were loved, Mothra was the only one people complain and nickname here MINO.(Mothra in name only)
Note#2- Rodan is usually on Godzilla's side in most movies. Him working with King Ghidorha was surprising.
Note#3- At the end, when Ghidorha was destroyed, only one of his three heads remained. Godzilla grabbed in it's mouth and fling it around and then destroyed it with his atomic breath. Alot people joked that he is using Ghidorha's head as a cigar.
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