You will Cry!!! 11

Here is a list of silly movie threats from 2011

"I'm going to make you watch Red Riding Hood...You will cry...You will cry...when you see that the fairy tail...Has been Twilightized "

 

Note- I'm not joking, this movie is a Twlightized version of the classic fairy tail. The girl is in a love triangle and has romance scenes in the forest just like sparkling vampire movies. It also shares the same director of Twilight. No I haven't seen this movie nor do I care.




 Since when did the middle ages had hair gel?

The big bad wolf is a werewolf just like Jacob and he is in this love triangle with Red Riding Hood.



Here's the trailer if anyone wants to see.

Sucker Punch-"I'm going to make you watch Sucker Punch...It has sexy sword-welding schoolgirls, giant robots, dragons, Nazis, zeppelins, giant robot samurais with swords and giant gatling guns. Like duuuude!!!"

"Like Duuuude!!!"

 

  

Note- I told people about this movie and they think I was making this up based on every fanboy fantasy I can think of. I haven't seen this movie but I have heard it wasn't really that good.
Here's the trailer if anyone wants to see.





Thor- I'm gonna to make watch Thor...You will Cry...That this movie is everything that Son of Mask should of been.

Note- When I think worst movie ever made, one of the 1st things that comes to my head is Son of Mask. It's funny that I'm comparing a horrible movie to this enjoyable Marvel flick but how many movies do you know that features Norse gods? I got nothing else to compare it to. (The lame cheap knock off that's trying to cash in Marvel's Thor don't count) Hollywood likes to focus on Greek myths more it seems.

Trailer if anyone wants to see

Water For Elephants- “You will cry…You will cry…When you see…That the main character is the pale boy from Twilight... Ok it doesn’t have anything to do with Twilight but it stars the guy from the sparkling vampires movies and therefore the movie is going to bad and I going to judge it on that alone.”


Note- Never saw the movie. I can see people being judgmental on that movie just simply they see a star from a movie series they don’t like. For all I know, he may be a good actor. I saw Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire on TV one day and I was surprised the other sport runner from Hogwarts is Edward himself. He seem fine in the movie to me.

X-men First Class- “You will cry...You will cry...When you see the naked blue girl... is only in her naked blue form for 3 scenes. Also, why did I see Dr. Manhatten’s blue glowing you-know-what for 3 straight hours in the movie Watchmen but not her in her blue form in this movie? That's not fair.”

This is how Mystique normally looked in the original X-Men trilogy. Played by popular fashion model/actress, Rebecca Romijn.

This is what she looked 80% of the film. Played by random nobody Jennifer Lawrence. *One year later, Hunger Games comes out* I'm sorry, I mean popular actress.

This is how she look 15% in the film.

This is how he look 95% of the time in the movie, Watchmen. WTF man.

Note- I just found something funny to compare to Watchman since in the original X-Men flicks, Mystique is best known for being blue and naked, which you hardly see in this prequel. She goes through a character arc where she accepts to appear in her blue form. The movie does still have eyecandy towards male viewers, most of the females wore short skirts. One of the females was a stripper before she joined the X-men.

 

Here's a trailer if anyone wants to see




Green Lantern- "You will cry...When you see The Green Lantern...Is played by a white dude."

 

WTF man, why you turn him into a white dude.

 

Note- One of the stupidest things I heard before the movie came out is that people were complaining that The Green Lantern isn't black in this movie. The thing is that there has been multiple Green Lanterns over the years. The white guy is called Hal Jordan and he is the most well known of the Green Lanterns. The black guy is called John Stewart and he is a lesser known one until the TV show called Justice League came out with John as one of the main characters. This show also boosted his popularity.

The sad news is that some people may be only familiar with this Green Lantern. Dudes, do a quick google search before start you ranting. I never read any of the comics or seen other TV shows but I know well enough that there's been different ones.

 

Trailer if anyone wants to see 

 

 

 

 

 

Transformers: Dark of the Moon- “You will cry…You will cry...When you see… that Megan Fox isn’t in the movie.”

"You cry when you see Soundwave....Getting all tentacley with Carly."

"That Shockwave is the main villain/ or That Shockwave isn't the main villain."

"That you don't witness the death of the twins."

Note #1- Ok this is stupid. People actually think Megan Fox was really that important to Transformers. She's simply Sam "Spike" Witwickly's girlfriend at the time, nothing more. Some people think this is a bad movie just simply because she wasn't in it.*rolleyes*  The movies can go on without her. They should be happy that Spike's new girlfriend is named Carly who based off the orginal guy's girlfriend and later wife from the original series. They're going crazy over a new character that's never been in Transformers.

Spike and Carly. No she doesn't look anything like a Victorian Secret Model.

Gee, we watch these films to hopefully see the robots, not the humans even doe they hog the screentime in these movie.


Note #2-There was one scene that where Soundwave chases Carly and said, "Your mine!". He grabs her, throws her in his car mode, and sprouts his tentacles and slowly surround her with them. There is alot of weird porn out there like furry porn and tentacle porn. Tentacle porn is a monster raping people with it's tentacles. This one scene seem seconds away of becoming one.



Note #3-

A year before the Dark of the Moon came out, we were told that Shockwave is the main villain of the 3rd Transformers movie. Sadly, people who are unfamiliar with the comics complain, saying that Shockwave is loyal to Megatron. That's true in the original cartoon but not in the comics.

 

 

[Warning Spoilers. Skip to the next part to avoid it.]

 

Shockwave as the villain seems like a good idea but this was a lie to hide the plot twist that Sentinel Prime was the true villain of the movie. I don't mind that Sentinel as the main villain but they shouldn't hyped up Shockwave like that and turn him into a minor villain.

 

Note#4

[Waring Spoilers. Skip to the next part to avoid it]

 

In the comics and novels adaptations of the 3rd movie. During the scene where Sentinel showed his true colors and lay waste to the Autobots' base, Sentinel fire at Bumblebee but Skids jump in and took the hit and die. Mudflap saw his bro die and charge to his killer, only to share the same fate.

 

That's right, almost everyone's least favorite robots in the live-action movies get killed off and you don't get to witness it.

 

The twins were meant to be in the movie and GM provided the cars but Micheal Bay didn't want to have backlash of the twins again, so he remove from the film, including their deaths.

 

 

 

Trailer

 

 

 

Harry Potter and the Deadly Hollows part 2- “You will Cry....That the movie blacks out halfway through and you have to wait 30 minutes for the movie to come back on.”

Note- This is a personal experience at the theaters. It happen around where Draco was wrecking havoc. I didn’t mind the “Intermission” since the butter was all over in my mouth and my drink is empty. Good time to get a drink refill to wash the butter popcorn out of my mouth. I joked in the theater that this was the end of part 2 and there is a part 3 coming soon.



Trailer

 

 

 

 

“I’m going to make you watch Cowboy and Aliens.

Note- The title says it all. A lot people think I was making this up until they saw the TV stations showing advertisements.

Trailer

 

 

 

 

The Smurfs- "I'm going to make you watch The Smurfs...You will Cry...That the movie...Takes place in New York!"

 

Note- People may believe the movie exist but the fact it takes place in New York is the last thing people will imagine.

 

Trailer

 

 

 

 

 

 

The Immortals-"You know, I not going to say anything bad. The story of Theseus and the Minotaur is a more realistic take on the classic myth just like the movie Troy. Theseus is fighting a large man wearing a metal bull helmet and it was a dark cave so he didn't see the man clearly. He may of told people about his encounter with the beast that inspire legends of this battle......Wait a minute, what am I thinking? This movie contains kung-fu ninja gods fighting an army of zombies called The Titans. I don't think having a realistic take on the myth would work when all the magical stuff is going on. Also why are the Titans zombies? 

Wasn't a big fan of the movie but watching the Greek gods doing epic kung-fu ninja skills looked cool.

Trailer

 

 

 

 

 

Sherlock Holmes: A Game of Shadows- "You will Cry...You will Cry....When you see Robert Downey, Jr....In drag!"

 

 

 

 

Nooo! I can't look at Iron-Man the same again. This is going to ruin the upcoming Avengers movie for me.

 

Trailer



You will Cry!!! 2010

Clash of the Titans- I'm going to make you watch Clash of the Titans...You will cry...You will cry...When you see….A beautiful Medusa.

1981 version

2010 version. Played by a Russian model 

Note-You don’t be an expert in Greek Mythology to know that her ugly face can turn people to stone. There were a lot things about the movie didn't follow Greek myths but this is something that even causal people would even notice.

Oh, did you know that Pegasus is born from the remains of Medusa. That's mess up since in the movie, the flying horse help transports Perseus to Medusa's lair.

Here's the trailer if anyone wants to see


Iron Man 2- You cry...When you see…War Machine's actor gets replaced.

How in the world a biracial man turn into a black man? So much for Terrance Howard saying, "Next time" in the 1st Iron Man film.

Here's the trailer 



Toy Story 3- You cry...You will cry...When you see...The ending."

Note- People actually cried.

Here's the trailer

　

The Last Airbender- You will cry...You will cry... When you see…That it not a sequel to the blue people movie.

I think they made this movie to copy off the success of Avatar. Look at the poster, over half of it is blue. I see a dude with scars on the side of his face, is that trying to make people think he's the general. This movie is a lame knock off.

Note- As I said in the 2009 page, I never saw the cartoon but I knew a live action movie was coming out and I heard things here and there like the famous director, James Cameron will be directing it. I decided to check out the new trailer that’s on youtube's front page. I was confused and it didn't look like some Eastern fantasy world but some Scifi flick. I quickly realized that there are two separate Avatars. Even long after figuring out the two separate movies, I still joke around pretending these movies were meant to be the same thing.

Here's the trailer




Inception-You cry...That you can't figure out what is reality and what is a dream.

Here's the trailer 　



The Expendables- You will Cry...That Arnold Schwarzenegger and Bruce Willis is only in it for a minute.

Why is Bruce Willis in this poster if he's in the movie for a minute? What if some fanboy may of want to see the movie just for him and he gets disappointed.

It be like putting Samuel L. Jackson on Iron-Man 1 poster or Thanos on The Avengers poster. Next thing you see is Jackie Chan on the front cover of the Blade of Kings...Oh wait, that actually happen.

He shows up at the climax to fight Donnie Yen for 5 minutes and than disappears.

Note- Well Arnold at the time was busy being the Governor of California so he had a reason to not be in the movie for long.

Here's the trailer

Tron Legacy- You will Cry...That it would look outdated in a few decades

Note- I think anyone nowdays will quickly notice the CGI in the 1st movie is badly outdated. I bet people back in the early 80s said alot things that seems funny nowdays.

Wow! Look at those bikes, they look so real!"- some dude in the early 80s

I basically said the same thing blocky characters when 3D gaming got big. 

Wow! Final Fantasy in 3D. Look at those characters, they look so real!"- Me in the mid to later 90s

 When I saw the endings to Mortal Kombat 4, I thought they were the coolest thing ever but nowdays, they're funny to watch.

Jax's Ending

Scorpion's Ending

Sub-Zero's Ending

Here's the trailer to Tron: Legacy

Yogi Bear- You will cry when you see Boo Boo.... Is played by Justin Timberlake.

Note- Didn't see nor cared. Based on the trailer, the movie didn't look like it be worth watching. I told people that Boo Boo is played by the Backstreet Boy but they didn't believe me. They thought I was making it up.

Here's the trailer

You will Cry!!! archive

A collection of my silly movie jokes

A. By Year

B. By Franchise

C. Prequels

D. Misc.

A. By Year

2009

2010

2011

2012

2013

2014

2015

2016 Part 1

2016 Part 2

2017 Part 1

2017 Part 2

2018 Part 1

2018 Part 2

2019 Part 1

2019 Part 2

2020

2021 Part 1

B. By Franchise

Godzilla

Jurassic Park (and other dino movies)

Ninja Turtles

Transformers

Spider-Man

Giant Monsters/Kaiju (That doesn't involved Godzilla)

X-Men

MCU(Phase 1)

Terminator

DCEU

C. Prequels

The Prequel

The 2nd Prequel

Another Prequel

Yet An Another Prequel

D.Misc

In Japan

Commercial Edition

Kung Fu Edition

You will cry!!! The Prequel

I often joked to friends about silly jokes based on whatever movies were airing at the time.  However I sometimes joked about movies that came before 2009. Here's a collection of silly movie threats. Enjoy.

Super Mario Bros- I'm going to make you watch Super Mario Bros...You will cry…You will cry… When you see…A human Bowser.

Do they look like the same guy? 

Like M.Bison, They turn him into a light-hair man in a business suit.

He does turn into a dinosaur for barely a minute at the end of the film. It's very anti-climatic.

You will cry when you see the guitarist that's speaking out against Bowser….Is suppose to be Toad.  

That the big black woman that Mario danced with…Is suppose to be that giant fish that eats Mario.

Note- The differences between the game and movies versions is laughable. Mario and Luigi get rocket boots that explains their "jumping" ability, so even something simple as jumping got radically altered.

Want to see the what the Goombas look like?

Here's the trailer if anyone wants to see

Casino Royale- You will cry...You will cry...When you see...A blond bond

Gee, one of these guys look different from the others. I can't put my finger on which one.



Note-When Daniel Craig was cast as Bond. Everyone complain like crazy over a frigging hair color. People did ended up liking him after Casino Royale came out. Sadly, he still has his haters to this day for the dumbest reasons.

Here's the trailer



Brokeback Mountain- I'm going to make you watch Brokeback Mountain...You will cry... You will cry...When you see... Two cowboys going at it.

Note- I'm not against gay people or anything. It's just female viewers have teased me about making me watch this movie.

Here's the trailer

Planet of the Apes (2001 remake)- You will cry...You will cry...When you are...Trying to figure out the ending.

Notes- I quickly tell what happens, After Marky Mark defeated the villain and made peace with humans and apes. He got in a space pod and leave the planet. He than arrived on Earth but he couldn't land properly, so he had to make a crash landing in front of the Lincoln Memorial. The statue of Lincoln had an ape's face rather than a human. Just then, hundreds of cars arrived and took pictures of Marky Mark. They were all apes. This ending did not make sense.


I guess this was an alternate universe where human never did became the dominate species. It's possible that this is Earth in the future where apes evolved and took over and rewrote history to their liking.(Like changing Lincoln's face.) The only other idea I have is the entire movie took place on prehistoric Earth did became the dominate life on the planet. Either way, the ending was never explained to this day.

Here's the trailer



I'm going to make you watch Snakes...On a plane.

Note-The title said it all. Just saying the title of the movie would surprised anyone that such a silly name would be the title of a movie.



TMNT(2007)- You will cry...You will cry...When you see...That's in CGI.

Note-  I know some people whose only reason to hate this flick is that it's in CGI and not costumes/animaltronics. They honestly believe that Turtles 3 is better just because it not done in CGI, I'm not joking. Obviously, they never watch anything Turtles related since the early 90s and vaguely remember what the latter movies were like. 
While the 1st one is easily the best to this day, 2 and especially 3 were a drop in quality. I rank 2007 movie between between the 1st and 2nd and it was the only good/decent thing that happen to Ninja Turtles back when 2003 series went downhill with Fast Forward and Back to the Sewer. Thank goodness the series ended on a high note with the epic crossover TV movie, Turtles Forever

Here's the trailer for the 2007 movie

Star Wars: The Holiday Special

You will cry...You will cry...When you see…A masturbating wookie

10 straight minutes of  wookies talking with with no translation and no subtitles


Most annoying cooking show


Girly looking Luke


Slowest most boring tutorial of how to make a transmitter


When you see Mos Eisley...A scum of hive and villainy… is crying like babies that their cantina is closing down as they watch Bea Arthur from Golden Girls sing.



Note- The Holiday Special is an obscure TV special that only aired once on TV. After Epsiode 4, CBS asked George Lucas to have the go ahead to make a holiday special. He agreed and after it aired, he hated it so much that he doesn't want it to air again and never to be put on VHS/DVD/Blu-Ray/Etc. You can only find a low-quality version somewhere on the internet to watch.


Mark Hamill had a car accident during the final days of shooting A New Hope that scarred him and he had to get surgery for his face. He had wear alot make up on his face for the Holiday Special but the end results is weird. He looks girly. In Empire Strikes Back, the 1st thing that happens to Luke is he gets smacked in the face from a Wampa. If you see any facial scars throughout episodes 5 and 6, well that's maybe the movie's explanation why he got those.

Here is a clip of some of the weirdest moments from the Special
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TDfvQMfp7uo

Watch the scum of hive and villainy cry like babies with Bea Arthur
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D6K6ETASu1E

One of the few positive things people said is there is a cartoon in middle of the special that shows the very first appearance of Boba Fett that predated his appearance in Empire Strikes Back.